I'm a survivor!

I'm going to make it, I will survive, keep on survivin'! (gotta love that song) Yes I am a survivor! I have 3.5 sleeps left to go of the Darwin 2008 build up and I think I can safely say that I am going to make it! I do believe everyone who got through November in Darwin, sanity intact, is worthy to receive some kind of award (maybe a giant ice-cream) as I have recently been told that it was the hottest Darwin month since January 1991!!!!!! AH! That explains a lot. I am actually quite relieved to hear that as it really did seem unbearable at times- worse than normal, though you just never really know and its hard to remember what last build up was really like. I think it is like labor pain, you block it out and then say 'it wasn't really that bad, now was it?' YES IT WAS!! But this year actually WAS hotter than usual, so I am hopeful that that is the worst it will be for another 18 years...

Now that I am so close to escaping the heat for a few weeks I thought I should make part two of my build-up edition a reflection on things of a more positive nature, in relation to life in Darwin. I do feel highly priveliged in a way, that God should call us to live here. As though we have some extraordinary capabilities not usually bestowed on the common man. Perhaps it is his way of fast tracking my character training, which I would like to believe is indeed taking place amidst all the sweat, mold and cockroaches. Yes I feel somehow honoured that he thinks I can hack it, yet I know truly all credit goes to him. Any 'hacking' it that has been achieved is thanks to his power being made perfect in my weakness. However, I do retain a certain smug sense of achievement, is that wrong?

I must say something else I do appreciate about the heat is exercising in it. That may sound crazy I know. But think about it. You EXPECT to sweat and be hot when you are exercising and there is something really satisfying about doing so when you are working hard. I have enjoyed riding the bike home from Shane's school. The warm wind, the beautiful clouds, excellent biking paths, lush green trees and gardens really make it a pleasure. And, as I said working up a sweat feels good. I feel like the climate is working with me in my bid to lose weight. (its working up a sweat when you get up to take a trip to the loo in the middle of the night that doesn't feel so good, but this is positive reflection time, so I won't go into that).

One more thing (yes I am at the end of my positives already!) that I really love about the build-up; is the sense of comaraderie that you have with your friends, heck even strangers! Going through extreme weather really bonds you with others. Talking to others and hearing how they are struggling, coping/not coping makes you realise you aren't alone. We tell stories of how we flip out tying kids shoelaces between the air-con house and the air-con car (;P karin) or how we lost it and kicked in the laundry basket (yep that one was me), or we just want to chuck it all in and move 'down south' (i.e anywhere else in Australia)! It is a good reminder that in general, in life, there is always someone else going through the same thing you are. There are people who know EXACTLY how you feel. I think in Darwin I am closer to my weaknesses, which brings me closer to God and closer to others...At the end of the day, I really love that.

A bunch of us Darwin girls, enjoying the incoming wind and rain!

Survival Mode

(Dedicated to Dad, who suggested I write about this, maybe it was his ploy to get me to stop complaining...)

Oh the joys of living in Darwin. Let me count the ways...Wait, that's right I can't think of the joys at the moment because my ability to respond positively is being hampered by the pool of sweat that I am currently sitting in. The exercise ball which I use as a desk seat is currently stuck to my legs by sweat. Yes the air con IS on, the fan IS on full bore and I am sitting in a dark room at night, sweating!! Move to Darwin ITS GREAT!!! AH AHHHA HHHA HA HAHAHHHA!!!!

Some days you go a little insane living in Darwin. It is the silly season, troppo time, mango madness, whatever you call it, no matter which way you look at it, it's a tough time to be in the tropics. A few weeks back I was thinking 'this is about as bad as it will get, its not too bad, this is fine, i've aclimatised, i'm coping great'. And then the weather man decided to bump it up a notch. I am not sure what the humidity levels are but I can tell you it is already 31c at 8am. Mornings are the toughest, humidity is at its highest, there is rarely a breeze and you have the whole day ahead of you! The only hope of relief is a down pour of refreshing rain. When it pours it pours and it is a heaven sent oasis of cool. I have some friends who keep a close eye on BOM (bureau of meteorology) they have a cool map that shows where the clouds are, and they ravenously watch and hope for rain. The best time of day for it to rain is the mid to late afternoon because then its not likely to get hot again before the sun goes down and then it might be a few degrees cooler overnight. The problem is if it rains during hte morning and the sun returns its about twice as bad as the drenched roads start steaming up and the humidity soars. Of course the best thing is when it rains all day and all night for a few weeks-monsoon time! However this is unlikely to happen until late december. Until then we can only hope for short term relief and survival mode techniques, some of which I will now share with you.

Christy's Build-up Survival tips

Live in a house with airconditioning THROUGH OUT. We don't and I really recommend this as something to assist with your sanity. My way of workign around this is by shutting up the house (working better now with my new block-out curtains) and letting the bedroom 'cons do the rest. This works ok, it IS a lot cooler than outside but I am still sweating.

Do as much tidying up the night before. As I mentioned it is hottest in the mornings, which is when I usually get the most house work done. However with the humidity being extreme and having two littlies to tend to, its good to wake up to a tidy house- one less thing to push you over the edge.

Keep the freezer stocked with ice blocks and icy treats (and flannels, according to mum...) Shane just arrived home with the requested frosty fruits which is pleasing on the palatte as well as the body temp. You just have to eat them very quickly!

Shave your head. I haven't yet done this one, but I am sure it would help as my head gets soooo hot. I opt for keeping it up instead, but you never know...One day...

Get out of the house. This is probably my number one trick to survival. Yesterday I left the house at 7am to drop Shane at work. I had almost literally just gotten out of bed, but I grabbed a few things and we got in the car. I didn't return until after I had picked up Shane. I spent the day at my friend Tenny's, who, as well as being good company, has a beautiful air conditioned home. So we camped there for the day and my mental health was better for it. Thanks Tenny!

Shower. When the girls are off to bed midday I usually have shower and change clothes. So refreshing. A blast of really hot and then cold (ok we don't get cold, lukewarm) water and out under the fans in my towel and I almost feel cool for a few minutes. You need to towel down thoroughly otherwise its mere minutes before you can't work out what is shower dew and what is fresh sweat. It sorta helps me feel like the slate is wiped clean and I start again mentally. Doing things in the heat, any stresses and frustrations start to build up (therest that word again) and you can bubble over at any moment. So a shower is a good way to stop that pressure cooker, or at least slow it down.

Keep your eyes on the prize! Yes it is 1 week and 6 days until I and the girls depart for Adelaide. I am not even daunted a the thought of taking the two of them, on my own, in the middle of the night, on a 3.5 hour plane ride with two seats for the three of us. I think I would bus it on my own with them just to get some relief. So yes, I am counting down the days and trying to stay focused and stay sane knowing that it won't be long and I will be wearing slippers and cardies again.

Well that is what I can think of at the moment, there are more I am sure and maybe I will do a second installment sometime soon. It's really the number one thing that is on my mind right now; surviving the build up. Its amazing how the weather can affect one's mental state to such an extreme. It's not just me either. Pretty much every single person you talk to is struggling right now. I guess that in a way helps make you feel better. Knowing you are not crazy and you aren't alone everyone is struggling and the shared burden of the build up makes it somewhat easier to bear. All I know is, even Shane is complaining, so it must be bad! Pray for us!

Jam Joy!

Yes, Jam! Who would've thought making a small batch of strawberry jam would evoke such feelings of absolutely domestic bliss? Well, I suppose I did have an inkling... I was thinking home made jam would be a nice 'stocking stuffer' this year and the idea was lingering in the back of my mind... Then the unthinkable happened. Strawberries were 98c a punnet! Rarely do they fall below $3 and they looked no worse than normal! This was the time, the obviously ordained moment for my jam fantasies to become a reality. So I bought five punnets and some jam sugar and headed home full of warm thoughts of good things to come.

I had to kind of scrounge around for jars. I had a couple of baby food jars which I thought was a PERFECT size for a stocking gift. Cleaned up a ginger jar and then I emptied out the contents of my almost finished 'rhapsodie de fruits' conserve to accomodate the delightful decadence on its way. I was SO thorough in washing and sterilising the jars on the stove (as you can see in the photo! Proof!) I am sure this puts any would-be recipients at ease. The recipe I used was one from (of course) my domestic goddess cook book, courtesy of the lovely Nigella Lawson. Her food wonders never seem to cease (Nor do mine for that matter)! Strawberries were hulled and cut into twos or fours and into the pot with about the same weight of jam sugar (!) and about a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar, which apparently serves to make strawberries strawberrier. Sounds good to me. So away it bubbled looking positively glorious! It was probably simmering for about half hour when I figured it was ready, the syrup seemed to have set somewhat. I filled up my jars, all the while smiling with glee at how lovely it looked and would surely taste. Lids on my super-clean jars and in the fridge.

Now there is a really happy ending to this tale. How could it get any better? Well you see, that evening we were having friends over for dessert. I had planned a lovely cheesecake (Nigella express) a refrigerated one that is fantastically good. I was planning to top the cake with the specified 'rhapsodie de fruits' cherry conserve (mmmm) and then I suddenly was struck with the genius and beautiful serendipidy of the situation. I can see you are beginning to put two and two together. I CAN USE MY JAM TO TOP THE CHEESECAKE!!!! Wow. Talk about domestic goddess?! I did have a reasonable amount left over in the pot, it was more syrup than strawberries but still delectable. And so it was. You will have to ask the Garners what they thought of the final product but I can assure you, it was a thing of beauty, not to mention the taste. Linger on that thought as you hurry into the kitchen to start making jam and cheesecakes. It is as rewarding as it sounds.

To slap or not to slap?

So you think this blog is going to be about corporal punishment and the pros and cons of this culturally sensitive debate? Well, you are wrong. What I wish to share with you today is the violent predecession of the untamed toddler heart, namely, Esther Rayner. Ok, I am not going to lie to you or make it sound better than it is. Esther hits other kids. There I said it! Sometimes I even think she enjoys it. Shocking, I know. I don't think there is anything much more distressing than to see your child inflict acts of harm on others. It flies in the face of all that I desire for her. She is acting out exactly the opposite to my wishes. It is upsetting, it is frustrating and it is challenging! I know how the other mums must be feeling because I know how I feel when Esther is the victim. It doesn't take long for a kid to get in the bad books, or not be wanted because of his behaviour and I am very sensitive to this fact. It is unavoidable, nobody wants to hang out with you if your child is going to hurt their child. So I feel the intense pressure to hurry Esther out of this 'phase' ASAP!

The last couple of weeks I have been watching her like a hawk whenever we are with other little kids, at times even sacrificing my catch up time with friends to go and 'play' (aka supervise Esther) with the kiddes to make sure all goes smoothly. I have really been feeling stressed about this. At play group two weeks ago I believe Esther hit EVERYONE at playgroup, at least once. ARGH! I was feeling pretty tense that morning. As I put Esther in the high chair for the fifth 'time out' that morning I assured everyone that I was starting a toddler course the following week. Talk about embaressing.

I have been having lots of talks with Esther as we drive places on our way to see friends. I talk about being kind and not hitting, being gentle, sharing, coming to mummy if you need help etc. She repeats back a lot of it and it seems like she is understanding. Yet when she is in a situation and something isn't going her way- watch out! Just when I start to wonder if we can ever go out in public again I begin to see some glimmers of hope. On Friday we had Zoe Giltinan over for the day and there were no angry outbursts. As we were driving Zoe home she exclaimed cheerfully at the sudden realisation 'Esther doesn't hit me anymore!' What lovely encouragement, and how sweet that 3 year olds are so forgiving. I wondered if our 'talks' with Esther were finally paying off as that morning before Zoe arrived, I told Esther she was coming over to play. Esther immediately responded with; 'Don't hit peoples' and followed it up with the more specific 'Don't hit Giltinans'. Yes, I couldn't agree more. And I am praying that we have turned a corner and the worst is over. Hoping our vigilance is paying off in this area. For anyone reading this and your child is going through something similar-I feel your pain!

Time to live

I have to make special mention of Nathan T and his wife Ang and also to Karin who I saw yesterday and today (respectively) and who both, spontaneously encouraged me in my blog writing! :) thanks guys! You don't know how it encourages me to know you take the time to read my thoughts and that you enjoy it. You reinspire me and I dedicate this to you. Mwaw!

Last Tuesday night I attended my much loved GEMS night (godly encouragement for mums) and it is certainly always that. While I am in the mood for thanking people I would like to thank Janie for all her hard work and love that she puts into encouraging mums and families. You are an inspiration and a great source of hope for me and I know many other mums! Last GEMS was probably one of the most enjoyable for me as it was tackling something very practical; balancing what you have to do each day! Yes this is a challenge to us all, mums or not. It was great to get some pearls of wisdom and some practical ideas on how to make the most of daily living as a mum. I took notes, so I will share some of the highlights. I will start with the pearls of wisdom and then share some of Janie's practical insights and of course, since it is MY blog, you will have to hear some of my ideas too!

WORDS OF WISDOM
Save your 'yes's' for the BEST things. Don't use up all your time on what is simply a 'good' thing to do. Ask yourself; 'is this the BEST thing for me and my family?' You can't fit everything you want to do in life into one season of life. Sometimes you have to let go of things and realise, there will be another season of life where I can pick this back up.

Don't let yourself become too busy. LIVE OUT the reality that death is inevitable and quite possibly imminent (!) Ask yourself; 'What are my long term priorities?' and then live them out and live in harmony with them. Don't underestimate the value, for good or for bad, of little decisions. Small choices and actions build up to big consequences.

Too often what is important gets sidelined for what seems urgent. This is STRESSFUL! Rest and exercise are usually the first things to get ditched at these times, which has a profound negative affect on all areas of life. Are you busy doing a lot but not finding time for what is important?

urgent= reactive
important= proactive

Decide what is important for you and live in a way that reflects that. Someone is planning your days. Is it you? Don't live by someone else's agenda. YOU need to schedule your priorities. If you fail to do this you will fail to experience the outcomes you are looking for in life.

Think, reflect, plan!

Do the things you love to do. Take time to dream. What would you most like to do in life? Small changes can make a big difference and bring you closer to what you are hoping for.

PRACTICAL TIPS
Streamline: Do priority tasks early in the day
Use a calendar and BOOK in date nights, family nights and times to connect with others.

Organise your home. (I'm trying ok!!) Start little and be consistent. (I have started on my girls wardrobe, as seen in earlier blog, I do find it a lot easier to keep on top of the clothes situation since doing that AND I have successfully maintained it for three weeks! Thats a new record for me I think! Yay.)

Work towards a structured day (always flexible of course). Boredom=mischief = mental breakdown for mum!
Get kids to bed on time, for you sanity and theirs. A well slept child is a happy child and same can be said for us no doubt!

Work towards raising morally responsible children. PLAN your parenting, don't be caught off guard. Be generous in love and encouragement. Bring your children into your world. Involved them in the daily tasks that need to be done. It's not our job as mum to simply keep them entertained all day but to teach and train them. This can start at a very young age and slowly increase with their maturity and ability. Work together and alongside each other. Get them to put clothes away, help with dishes, pick things up, make a mini clothesline for them to help hang washing. They take so much pride in helping mummy. Remember our job is to work ourselves OUT of a job. (Sounds good to me!)

Get rid of bad habits and time wasters (hmmm mine would probably facebook...)

Work hard and then rest without feeling guilty! (I actually don't have a problem with this one!)

If you need to fit something else into your schedule, try and take something else out.

Work Smart; while doing housework or even out shopping, listen to an MP3 player- get your soul fed by listening to music, worship, teaching etc. Keep books and (appropriate!) crafts in your bag to pull out when in waiting rooms or queues or you have a spare moment at home (like on the toilet (no I don't think I even get to do that in peace!..'mummy, what you doing?')
Use a slow cooker! It feels so good to have dinner done by 9am! It is such a great way of avoiding the chaotic rush that usually accompanies tea time.

As I get more efficient and find more ways of occupying Esther I have to remember to keep taking time out to just 'be' with my little girl. To talk to her and play with her without always thinking about what I need to do next. When playing with her in her room I find my self starting to sort clothes and put things away instead of just enjoying her company. She will grow up fast and I want to know that I enjoyed everyday and took advantage of the time we had together to really get to know her and not just look after her. Both are important we just need to keep them in balance.

Get help if you need it, and again don't feel guilty! We all need help and no one is really a super mum, we all need each other, for encouragement if nothing else. Be proactive in encouraing other mums. It is so easy for us to judge one another. We are all so different in how we parent. But we don't know what burdens another is carrying. And our kind word of encouragment might be the thing that helps them get through another day. Words are powerful; use that power for good!

So that's my notes from GEMS this month, I hope you find them as encouraging and inspiring as I did.

If you are messy, disorganised, tired and worn out; REJOICE. There is so much potential for you to be changed and for God to be glorified. Remember, NOTHING is impossible for our God. ASK him for help and he WILL hear you. I know this is true as he is doing this for me!

Clothes!

Well, its time I wrote of things of a less philosophical nature and get back to the domestic tasks at hand! Clothes!

Do any other mothers feel overwhelmed at the amount of clothing they have for their children? Do you have piles of clothes half sorted cluttering up the corners of your rooms and the recesses' of the closet? I sure do. I seem to be in a constant state of 'sorting out' with the clothes. It doesn't help that they both keep growing out of things... No one likes to get rid of the cutesy precious things their little princesses have worn. And so we like to hand them on to dearly loved friends and family who will enjoy them as much as we have, plus it takes the pain out of parting with them. I have been the blessed recipient of many such items, thanks to my sister and a few good friends. However, I am very nostalgic and find it hard to throw things away. I find I am keeping items of clothing not so much because I like them, but I know my sister really did, so perhaps I better hang on to it, in case I have a third girl...

Meanwhile my closets are in such disarray and the 'put aside' boxes with clothes that someone is waiting to 'grow into' are forgotten until it is too late!
Before I put anyone off buying me new things for the girls, let me say how much I LOVE getting lovely new or second hand things. Dressing little girls is sooo much fun. However the aquirement of clothing seems to highlight my lack of organisation skills. But, I am happy to announce I have done much reorganising today! I have even begun labelling the storage containers I have put away, now whenever I see them, I will remember what is in there and ponder when I might use them next.

I was able to spend a couple of hours on this usually overwhelming task as my lovely friend Mia is looking after Esther for the day. It is sooo novel to have all this time on my hands to do things like sort through clothes! It was actually really fun and I discovered that I would probably be doing a better job of upkeep in this area if I had more time to devote to it... I am sure that is a popular excuse for all sorts of things... :)

At any rate the girls' closet is looking quite lovely and I am feeling an inner calm about it all....sigh of contentment....

There still is the problem of what to do with the clothes I really like and both girls have grown out of. I find it especially hard to know what to do with the girly clothes, as I am trying to keep my 'stuff for next baby' as gender neutral as possible. My solution? See picture below...

...We will have the best dressed stuffed toys around!

His mercies are new every morning

Well, it's time to blog again. Reading my previous blog, that week is still fresh in my mind. I have had quite a positive in change in outlook since that time and am enjoying the fruit of that in my days. I love the Joyce Meyer slogan 'enjoying everyday life'. It's so simple but so profound... We all have mountain top moments of feeling like we can take on the world, that we can do anything...Often they are quite fleeting as we are plunged into the valley of despair, drudgery or monotony all too quickly. What I am discovering is the truth in the phrase 'abundant life'. The real secret to enjoying everyday life, it seems to me, is having the mundane transformed into the marvelous. Look, I am not quite sure how it happens, and many days it certainly doesn't for me (as seen in my last post) but I have experienced it. When His truth becomes my reality, life is wonderful. Things that have held dread, tasks that seem overwhelminging are transformed into the merest of trifles. It is amazing what happens when we truly believe his word.

Isn't it just lovely that God WANTS us to enjoy our lives? That he has made a way for it to be possible? He is so good to us, he is such a loving Father. I am so delighted to have the freedom to choose how I approach the day. sometimes I use that power against myself, I make unwise choices, I allow circumstances to dictate my response and a vicious circle begins! However, at any moment I can make new choices and step off that cycle; I can ask for help, strength, patience and mercy. Each new day I get to start again, to start afresh. He knows we need that sleep and that new morning to try it all over again and maybe get it a bit more right this time! Thank you for your mercy Father and for giving it to us afresh each day, it is much needed and much appreciated!

domestic drag...

Yes. Believe it or not people there are days when I DON'T feel like a domestic goddess. But then this blog is all about chronicling my journey from housewife to goddess so I guess that is ok.

Why do some days just drag?

The whining, the crying, the demands, the dishes, the laundry, the mess, the bad hair, the big waistline and the slow ticking clock all combine to make life seem...Hard! Today was one of the those days...Though I must confess both girls were quite good and did well, or at least average. But it is not so much what is happening around me that gets me down, but within. It doesn't seem to take much... Lose a bit of sleep here, bit of bad nutrition there, not much time with God and... Here I am feeling sad and sorry for myself again. I do have a down day now and then but this week there has been more than one which isn't very nice, and I spend my time trying to analyse all the reasons for this and who is to blame rather than just climb back out of my self pity pit and get on with it, to do what I know to do. I have all the answers; how to climb out...But sometimes I don't FEEL like doing it and I just want someone to reach out and kiss ME better. You know the feeling?...

Desperate house...husband?

Okay, before I begin let me just say that I have got to be married to one of the best men in the world. Shane is handsome and loving, considerate, patient, supportive, hard working, funny, a great father and always willing to help me out. In fact, that is what he was doing this evening.

I ducked out at 5:45 to go to my 'balance' class at the gym, leaving him with the two girls and dinner half way prepared. I had just fed charlotte and put her into bed, so she should be off to sleep soon. Esther and him had just come in from playing in the yard and she needed to eat, have a bath and get ready for bed. I told Shane that the potatoes had about 5 mins to go (boiling on the stove) the corn was in the microwave and when it was done another piece had to be cooked (2mins each side) the salmon was frying on the stove too and needed a couple more minutes. I was tempted to remind him (maybe for the third time) as I was walking out the door, about the potatoes and that they were almost done. After all it had been a lot of instructions and I thought it wouldn't hurt to remind him what the first one was. No, I don't want to patronise him, he can handle it, they are bubbling away on the stove next to the salmon, hard to miss...

So I enjoyed a lovely hour of stretching and strengthening at balance with a few friends and was dropped home just before 7. Hmmm the house was undoubtedly in a far worse state than when I had left. Well, that is perhaps unfair, Shane had started to fold laundry. It was just all over the living room floor, but half way there, no probs. It was quiet. I could hear Esther splashing in the laundry tub out back and Shane talking to her. I will just check on Charlotte... Not in her bed, not on our bed. 'Shane' I called out, 'Where's Charlotte?'.

'Wouldn't you like to know?' came his reply from out back. I went outside to see what he meant; there was Charlotte, strapped to Shane's chest in the baby carrier, while Shane was in the process of washing Esther's hair. It looked so ridiculously and desperetely domestic that I cracked up laughing.

'it's either this or she's screaming' replied the normally resilient-to-screaming Shane. Charlotte was looking a little red eyed. 'How was dinner' I asked. 'I burnt the potatoes' he replied. 'What?! How did you burn BOILED potatoes?' I started laughing again. 'the water evaporated' was his matter of fact reply. By this time I was towelling down Esther (who's hair was still full of soap). I kept looking at Shane and laughing at him carrying around Charlotte, imagining the whole chaotic scene unfolding...Getting Esther organised for the bath, Charlotte screaming, potatoes burning... Explained the half folded laundry sprawled around the living room. Shane was calm, cool and collected, as always, despite the fuss unravelling about him.

The whole situation made me feel better in a way. It IS a challenge to look after a toddler and a baby, clean up, keep THEM clean, get everyone fed and fold the laundry and sometimes it all doesn't get done (ok, a lot of times it all doesn't get done!). I appreciate Shane's willingness to do it all while I am out, giving me some much needed time and space. It helps me to see to, that I am doing alright at it all and getting better all the time. It is fun to see him trying to juggle the slightly less familiar tasks that I am doing all day long. It's amusing to see how we handle things differently and also how we can compliment each other; Shane stays calm in the face of chaos and I make sure the food doesn't get burnt! :)

Falling off the wagon...

Ok, confession time. I have (unofficially) fallen off the wagon with my 'healthy lifestyle' plan. The point of the healthy lifestyle however, is that it is not a 'wagon' that you can hop on and off of, but more of a one way ticket on some sort of transport that you can't get off of easily (say bullet train?), ok I am struggling for metaphors here. If I haven't fallen off of the 'wagon' I have lost a wheel or something (wheel representing my motivation and enthusiasm). Sigh. That bit of gastro threw me out. See, at first I was thinking 'yay bonus easy kilos to lose' and I did lose a bit that week. But then I was over optimistic about this whole weight loss thing and the goal was so within grasp and it had been easier than I had anticipated (thanks to not eating for a week, sort of) and so, you know, time to celebrate! I don't need to say no to those bars of chocolate and packets of chips anymore.... And so I find myself back to square one. Well, perhaps I am being a little pessimistic, I don't think I have gained anything...Well I haven't weighed myself yet today and so I will do that now, as it is Monday, payday as it were... hang on a sec....Sigh, yes it looks like I have put on about a kilo since last week. There is just no easy way around this is there? I just really feel like eating junk! Ok, time to read Dr. Phil's weight loss solution again...I am sure he will offer me some straight talking 'is that working for you' advice. I WILL reach my goal!!!!

I have come to give them LIFE

It is so exciting discovering what God means when he says 'I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full' John 10:10. There is so much to discover in this little verse. A lifetime of joy in this promise. It's not a life of comforts and pleasures...but then it is...not the comfort of worldly wealth but the comfort of knowing your life is in the arms of a loving Father. The pleasure of knowing you are here because you bring him delight. The joy of discovering more; more beauty, more freedom, more fun... There is a richness and a depth to life that we barely scratch the surface of. You know how its said that we only use some small percentage of our brain? I think the same can be said of our lives. We only enjoy some small percentage of our lives when it is actually possible, with God, to enjoy all of it. Its not that everything is enjoyable, it's some miracle of God that makes it possible. 'The joy of the Lord is our strength' It's his JOY that gives us strength. I have found that when I choose to enjoy and celebrate God in my day I do become stronger, I am able to do more, to embrace more, give more, laugh more, I LIVE more. It doesn't make sense, but it happens. When his word becomes the TRUTH of my life, when I embrace it and allow it to become a reality, LET him live in me; I am transformed.

I liken it to looking at a map. We can discover a great many things by looking at a map; longitude, latitude, heights and depths, population, produce, many facts about a country and its people. Imagine looking at a map and learning about that country... Now, imagine flying through the sky over that same place, over that same area you saw on the map, but in real life and in real time...

With the wind in your face you are soaring over the great blues and hues of blustering waters far below and clouds whistling past your ears. Suddenly, the ocean peels away to reveal a glorious continent of hills and valleys, rivers and lakes, people and places. There are colours and sights and smells you never could've imagined from looking at the map. It defies description. It's exciting, it's adventure, it's beautiful - and it's in 3D!! What a contrast, what a transformation! Of course, there is really no comparison. You could never say you know a country well from looking at a map of the place. You must go there, be immersed in the culture, the people, smelling the air and swimming in the waters.

This is how it is with God. We read his word and often go to church but we take it in at the 2D level, we don't really absorb it into our souls. We don't believe it with all our hearts, let it become our reality, let HIM become our reality. When we do we are transformed, the world is a different place. We are in HIS Kingdom. That is where I want to live. How about you?

Thankful

Let it be known that Christy Rayner is grateful. I am. I cannot count my blessings for they are too great. But I will make the beginning of a list of things I am thankful for, things I do not deserve, cannot afford and am the humble recipient of. I have a loving Father who has given me bread, not a stone. I am not getting into a philosophical discussion about whether or not God is good if I do not have good things. I know he is good no matter what. I do, however want and need to acknowledge the wonderfully underserved and beautiful things he has done for me. Not because they make him good, but because they make me thankful and he has called me to give him praise and so I will.

He gave me life (when he could've made anyone else in my place)
he died and gave me eternal life
he gave me a loving family and a wonderful extended family as a part of the body of Christ.
He has given me a loving husband
He has allowed me to partner with him (and shane ;) in bringing life into the world, in the shape of two beautiful girls; Charlotte and Esther - for this I am overwhelmingly, breathtakingly thankful.
He has given me a lovely home full of all the things I need and more
He has given me wonderful friends to share this journey of life
He has placed me in a beautiful city and a community where he has given me a role to play and things to do
He has given me creative gifts that bring me joy to use and bless others
He has given me the power to bless others with words and to illuminate his truth through them

Oh so many things I have been given. My heart's desire is to know the giver, to know the one who loves me so. To be able to thank him with all my heart, with all my life and all my days. Many names could I be described by; mother, wife, sister, friend... But I am His daughter, I am HIS and this is what makes me most thankful.

Lord, may my life bring you pleasure. I delight in pleasing you.

Weighing in...

Well it's been three months since Charlotte was born, I can no longer use pregnancy as an excuse, time to shed some kilos. I have ditched 85% of my wardrobe as it consisted of maternity clothes, that flattered a pregnant belly but makes a used-to-be pregnant belly look twice as big as it already is. So, I have hardly anything to wear and I really mean that. So I went shopping yesterday...Sigh. Three months from giving birth is not the best time, body image wise, to go shopping. But it is worse than not going shopping and having nothing but unflattering clothes to wear. So I braved the change rooms. Believe me, that is no small feat. It was really thoughtful of K-mart to provide me with a three way mirror to really ensure I was taking it all in. The fluro lighting really accentuated my cellulite too. Love that look. Really, if shops are serious about selling clothes they need to ensure the changerooms are candlelit and there is some positive body image reinforcement going on with the music. Something like Christina Aguilera's 'I am beautiful' would probably do the trick nicely. Although it may backfire as Shane commented, a lot of clothes would be returned when the flattering lighting and uplifting music have departed. I suppose he is right. Better to have the brutal reality and find something that best disguises it...Don't worry I am not as down on myself as I sound. Actually that is the problem! I am too optimistic about my appearance! If I could have poor body image two days in a row I might actually be able to stick to a diet! Well, thats what I used to be like. I am actually doing pretty good sticking to a healthy eating plan at the moment and getting into some more exercise. I am doing ninety sit ups a night! Impressive, I know. I really have Taimi Buchan to thank, my fellow stay at home mum (domestic goddess if you will) and blogger. She too has recently had a baby and is wanting to lose weight. So we are keeping each other accountable online. It's kinda fun. I thought I would take the next step and post up my 'before' pictures for all to see! eeek! and as an extra accountability. Dare you Taimi! So here is my 'before' shots stay tuned for the after... it might be a little while but I will get there! I am 85kg at present and my first goal is 80 and my long term goal is 70-75kg. Well, I think I have just faced two fears that most women have; telling their weight and other people seeing unflattering pictures of them. What a breakthrough. Well, I think my lean cuisine is ready now...

Duck Dinner

Well it turned out quite nice, although I wouldn't do it again in a hurry as there wasn't much meat on there. After all that time to cook there was enough for two moderate portions of duck and then Shane had the remaining remnants with his lunch. So I guess it qualifies as a success, just not a thrilling one.

Rub a dub duck

Oh my goodness! I am roasting a duck! How gourmet is that?! I just gave it a good rub down with sea salt and its in the oven for 3.5 hours. Thankfully we have leftovers we can eat in the mean time since it is already 6pm. Shane looked quite astonished when I shoved Mr. Duck in the oven and told him how long til we would be eating. 'That's 9:30' he said with a look of shock and amusement. Indeed it is rather late for dinner but good food is worth waiting for right? I must say it is quite weird to see the long neck bobbing around I really don't like my meat to resemble too much the animal that I am eating...but sacrifices must be made (literal and otherwise) because the Rayners MUST eat duck. Hey it was $8.38 down from $16! I will let you know how it goes.

I can do all things...

The last couple of hours have seen me busily tidying up. It is always great having visitors as the house gets looking fantastic as I prepare to wow and delight whoever is coming to stay. Okay, perhaps that is a slight exaggeration. But at any rate, I am wowed and excited at how great my house is looking at the end of the cleaning frenzy I put myself through. I do enjoy it though. There is such a sense of satisfaction in getting into all those usually forgotten corners. I find once I get into my cleaning 'groove' there really is no stopping me. I always end up doing random extra things that really don't need to be done, or at least they only contribute minutely to the overall untidyness and yet take up extraordinary amounts of time (but when you are killing time til a 1.55am pick up time is of no great importance)... e.g. cleaning and emptying out my bag and wallet, sorting out any little junk 'pots' I can get my hands on, gathering together all my takeaway menus and putting them into a 'doculope' (gosh I love those things!), cleaning on top of the fridge, sorting out the CD wallet and hunting out any that are missing... get the picture? But its those small and not really needing to be done jobs that I find the most satisfying, not quite sure why. I think knowing that even those out of the way and hidden spots are organised gives me a sense of calm. Its funny how the state of the house can reflect the state of one's mind. How 'on top' of the house work I am at any given moment is usually a good indication of my mental health. I might add that being 'on top' of the housework doesn't necessarily mean it has been done or is being done for that matter. What it means is that I can at least picture it being done without any mammoth effort. It really is all about how you see things. Some days even doing the dishes is a battle in itself, well on other days I can tackle every room and every cluttered corner and be ready for more. Its funny isn't it? How easily I can slide from domestic goddess, queen of my domain to slovenly houswife on the verge of a breakdown. I know it is God who provides me the strength I need, without him I can do nothing, but with him?... Nothing is impossible (even enjoying housework!).

PANtastic!

This blog is a thank you dedicated to my mum. I joyfully received a Stanley Rogers set of 3 pots and 2 pans plus 3 baking trays and 2 pairs of track pants! Harris Scarfe was having a big sale and I am the benefactor! :) The pots were quite the bargain originally $300 mum bought them for $100! AWESOME. The pots and pans have a 25 year guarantee and are cast iron with stainless steel handles. There are matching clear lids to all of them as well (except the griddle pan). Oh joy! I made stir fry last night and it was bliss swishing the veggies around in the pan, they didn't even THINK about sticking! Mum, you would be happy to know I have followed the care instructions to the letter, washing in warm water first and heating with veggie oil for a few minutes before first use- to ensure the optimum non stick lastability. I so appreciate the change to something high quality and am determined to take good care of it. So... anyone need some second rate, second hand pots and pans? You know where to come. Thanks again Mum! (ps. the pun in the title is for your enjoyment)

Pizza and the Potty

We had some very exciting potty training success this weekend! (note: Esther is wearing knickers in this picture!) Somewhere a light has gone in her head and I think the whole potty think has just 'clicked'. She asked for the potty on Saturday, this is not an uncommon thing for her to do, but what happened next was: she sat on the potty and actually wee'd! Yay! Time for 'marshals' (marshmallow rewards). In the last two days since, this has happened many times now. This morning she even woke up with a perfectly dry nappy. She asked for the potty as soon as I went in, and received yet another 'marshal' for her success. I am starting to wonder how many times we have to clap our hands and jump up and down after she does it... but hey, I am not complaining! We are very proud! However all this new found potty success is not completely without its hiccups. On Saturday after Esther had done her first self-initaited wee, I was feeding Charlotte on the bed and she came in asking for the potty.

'Shane!' I yelled,

'Quick, Esther wants to go potty!!' came my urgent request.

'I am indisposed!' Came shane's echo-ey reply from the loo...

Uh oh.

I quickly hopped up from the bed leaving poor Charlotte squirming and ran into Esther's room.

'Wet' said Esther pointing to the wee on the floor... There were two puddles, not one though. Yes, Esther had not only wee'd on the floor but also tipped out her earlier success that I had (neglectfully) failed to empty as yet...

So our training has expanded from not only getting her to 'go' on the potty but also not to pick it up and dump it out in her excitement. We are making plenty of progress on both counts and all feeling generally very proud and pleased with ourselves! :)

Now you will notice the title to this blog says 'Pizza and potty' now we have the potty talk out of the way I will get on with the exciting tales of Christy in the kitchen. Last night I decided I wanted to make Pizza. I had to make a run to the shop to get a few things so bought all the needed toppings. I had found a delightful looking pizza base recipe in my 'How to be a domestic goddess' cook book. Thank you once again Nigella, this was a winner! I was most pleasantly surprised at how easy the dough was to make, I am always a bit frightened of donig things with yeast, afraid after all the work and time to let it rise that it won't work out and be so disappointing. Which, I might add, has happened in the past. But this recipe was simple, chuck the ingredients together (flour, yeast, oil, warm water) mix and then knead, then let rise in a bowl for an hour. The dough was rising while I went to the shops and was ready to go when I returned. It smelled and felt delicious! A bit more kneading and then I rolled it out on the tray, spread a few tinned chopped tomatoes across the base, sprinkled on salt and italian herbs and then popped it in the oven for twenty minutes. I had my ingredients all ready to go (picture)

Then I pulled it out of the hot oven and covered it with all those yummy things that make pizza so divine. My favourites; salami, ham, mushrooms, olives and cheese! 10 more minutes in the oven and wa lah!

The perfect pizza! The base was so crunchy and yummy (it smelt fantastic while it was cooking too!). Have you ever had those 'veri deli' sea salt and rosemary crackers? Yummy. The base tasted a bit like that thanks to the herbs that I had sprinkled on. Sooo good, you must ask me for the recipe if you are inspired and have been too nervous to do the base yourself in the past. It really is that easy! I enjoyed my delicious pizza with a glass of Cabernet. Delightful.

Coupons, vouchers and discounts

Coupons, vouchers and discounts. Who doesn't love these? I for one, am a big fan. Heck I will down two bad coffees if it means getting two for one, even if I didn't want the first! You will understand better if you know I have a mother who will ALWAYS get large or upsize just because it is better value.Good for the hip pocket, not so good for the hip...

Tonight I had a lovely visit with a good friend at cafe Maccas (haven for mum's and those with an undiscerning palate). This lovely visit was made more lovely by the fact that all we had to do was 'mention' the ad in the 'qikfind' to receive two for one capuccinos (perhaps the caffeine is the reason i am bloggin rather than sleepin right now). It was also lovely not to have this discount questioned.

Last year Macca's Darwin (and there is only one maccas cafe in Darwin) put an ad in the 'qikfind' which entitled the mentioner of the ad a two for one frappe. I certainly made the most of that deal , let me tell you. Everyone in my acquaintance knew about it too, if they weren't getting cheap frappes it wasn't for lack of being told, (thats for darn sure). This deal was made sweeter still by the fact that you didn't need to produce an ad, only 'mention' it. And did I say it was unlimited? Woo hoo! Trouble is Macca's hadn't bothered to 'mention' this to the majority of their staff, so I was left to inform and explain my request many a time (you think with one cafe in Darwin that it wouldn't take too much effort to let their employees in on this fact). Over time I had all the staff educated and my requests became trouble free. So 2007 was 2-for-1 Frappes, this year it is 2-for-1 capuccinos. Not nearly as exciting I know, but better than a poke in the eye right?

Monday afternoon as my family and I left Bunnings we found ourselves forced to turn left onto bagot road rather than right and so nearing Macdonalds we decided to go through drive thru to pick up icecreams for all of us (Charlotte was banned from this small pleasure). As we were going through Shane remembered his two 'free big Mac' vouchers he received for participating in the red shield appeal. Cool, free lunch. Thank God for the salvos! As we were paying for the cones and a cheeseburger for Esther the cashier apologetically told us we couldn't use both vouchers at once. Ok, fair enough it DOES say only one per customer per day and although there were two of us, technically Shane was the only customer. Not one to be difficult, I hopped out and took my voucher in to the front counter and waited my turn. 5 mins later I handed my card to the manager who was serving.

' You have to buy somethign with that' she told me uncooperatively.

What? I carefully read the 'free big Mac' card, there was NO mention of 'buy one get one free' or a 'with any other purchase'. I mean, after all, it was supposed to be a REWARD for those who participated in the Red Shield, I didn't expect a debate over fine print I expected a 'thank you so much for your service to the community, would you like some free fries with that?' (ok, i know I didn't ACTUALLY do the Red Shield appeal myself, but i let my husband do it while i was preparing for Esther's second birthday party, heck i think i deserve at least 2 big Mac's for that!!).

'It doesn't say that ANYWHERE, look!' I told her confidently. She reads through the freebie card and points out, with triumph

'see, "when ordering"'.

'What? That doesn't mean anything!! I AM ordering! I am ordering a FREE BIG MAC lady! Sheesh!'
Ok I didn't say that. At that point I actually walked out without saying anything more. Golly! Like its going to hurt them to actually give something away for free. Gosh its frustrating. I felt a tad like a spoilt kid, throwing a tantrum for not getting their own way, but heck, I was HUNGRY for goodness sake. I haven't given up, I will take it in another day and find a trainee that I can intimidate with my confidence and startling good looks... :)

well I am having a bit of a voucher rant, let me tell you how I feel about most vouchers that come out these days. You think some businesses are actually trying to put off people from coming to their store and using them. They are getting so complex in their stinginess...
'When purchasing an item from the breakfast menu, Receive 28% off Your second drink when you buy a drink of the same or greater value'
?!? What?! I want a buy-one-get-one-free not a maths problem!!
Is it really going to break the bank to allow patrons to have something for free. Double or nothing, thats my motto. Anything else in the letter box just ticks me off. Really, the only place that seem to do decent voucher books these days is Hungrys. They still believe in the buy one get one free. None of this 'buy 3 and get your third one half price' rubbish! You actually get some decent deals. Not that we've seen the booklet for awhile. They used to come out every season it seemed. I have heard of others receiving them of late, but somehow we have been left out. Maybe they targeted us as people who actually use their vouchers. I must say that the scissors get a good work out when we do get it and our diets take a bit of a thrashing... maybe it is a good thing. The things is, all vouchers do is bring the price down to what it should normally be anyway... I think 3.95 is a ridiculous amount to pay for a macca's capuccino don't you? But if you get two...well, its ok isn't it.

Well that freebie coffee I had early this evening is starting to wear off...

(June 13th: I took my 'free big mac' card to Casuarina Maccas today. Not only did they give it to me for free without making me purchase anything, they also allowed me to switch it to a chicken burger! Sweet justice...)

Wednesday Morning

It is Wednesday morning, which means craft group! I do love craft group as it means I have 3 hours with Esther in creche and time to focus on my arty projects uninterrupted (well, almost; Charlotte is in the rocker next to me but she sleeps most of the time). I like to get there right on time to make the most of the morning. Things started on track, I had a bit of a sleep in (8am, nice!) and then both girls were ready to start the day. I got Esther changed (we had a brief stint on the potty which yielded no fruit) then she was strapped in to her chair for breakfast. Charlotte was a little fussy about eating so I put her in the rocker while I ate my muesli. It was about 8:15. I finished breakfast, as did Esther who was let out of her chair and sat in front of sesame street. Ok, back to Charlotte who must be hungry by now as her last feed was 5am. I try and get her on for a drink and all she will do is cry and cry! Ok, I have dinner to get ready so, back in the rocker. I get out the slow cooker, chopping board, onions, meat. Chop the onion and chuck it in the pan with oil and curry paste. Chop up the meat (with an inappropriate and ill sharpened knife) and throw it in too. Browning the meat and releasing the spices in the paste. Done. Ok, that all goes in the slow cooker with a big tin of chopped tomatoes, a can of coconut cream and some veggie stock. Lid on, set to low for 7-8 hours! Dinner is done, but Charlotte still hasn't fed. it is now 8:36. I pick up Charlotte as she is still crying. About to go feed her when I remember... I need snacks for Esther while she is in creche! With Char on my shoulder I grab some bread and peanut butter and whip together a sandwhich, into the glad bag it goes with a couple of mandarins now into the handbag. Charlotte is still crying. Into the bedroom trying a lying down feed. She is still crying, and gets more hysterical every time I try and shove the source of nourishment into her mouth! What to do? I could just leave and hope she feeds better when we get to creche, though if she doesn't it will be even more awkward. What is wrong? She is never like this in the morning... its 8:55. I am not going to make it on time. Maybe if i try the other side... Bam! She goes on like a charm and sucks happily for 15mins! Phew. Definitely going to be late now but Charlotte should sleep through now that she has been well fed. Esther comes in and out climbing over my shoulder having a look 'drink Charlotte'. Then I get a 'see yah mummy' as she shuts the door behind her... Hmmm I don't really like being shut into my bedroom with a toddler on the loose on the other side... No time to stress about it, gotta get this baby fed! 9:15, I reckon she has had enough so lets go! Now, to get everything and everyone into the car. Logistics! I need; Charlotte, her blanket, my handbag and my painting to work on plus a free hand for Esther... Tricky, but I work it out (thanks to my sling/strap for Char) Ok, lets go girls!

'Mummy poos, mummy, poos!'

Are you serious? 'Ok Esther'.

Charlotte, handbag and painting go down onto the couch, Charlotte starts crying. Stinky pants and I go to the bedroom to change. Better here then there I guess. 9:20. Right, smelling sweet again I pick up Charlotte, blanket, handbag and painting (no free hand for Esther, too bad!) out the door and to the car. Esther opens the door to let herself in and climbs into the middle seat (note: not her car seat) I strap Charlotte in and put the painting in the boot, handbag on the front seat and come round to Esther's door.

'Esther, you have to sit in your seat'

'no'

'Esther, we can't go until you sit in your seat, c'mon' I turn to look away and fain patience.

'Esther, hop into your seat!' She doesn't budge.

Esther receives chastisement and is deposited into her seat. 9:28. Alright! 'Lets go!'

Well, we can't be on time every week now can we? Once we got to creche things went smoothly and I was able to finish the painting I was working on, and thoroughly enjoyed the uninterrupted peace I had to do it in.

I love Wednesday mornings!

And so it begins...

Here my journey begins. Or rather the online account of my journey. It all started some many months ago when I became pregnant with my first child... well, to cut a long story short, I am now full time at 'home' with my two young girls. Esther who is two and Charlotte who is 2 months! I have recently decided that I am going to absolutely and utterly embrace the 'stay at home mum' life, love it and live it to the full! Which includes; combatting clutter and discovering space saving solutions, creating culinary delights, handcrafting masterpieces to adorn my home and most importantly; becoming the (increasingly) loving wife and wise mother God has created me to be! Thus will follow; my adventures to achieve these lofty goals. I hope you enjoy my adventures. And remember, choose life!