RACK part 3 Good news and Happy meals

Christmas eve, eve. Only one more day of advent count down. Yay! Little bit relieved. It has been good, but it hasn't exactly gone to plan... I ended up with a bit of a 'back log' of acts of kindness that didn't get done. We had a little pile of undone goodness to attend to yesterday. Things got a little bit busy, part of the problem with planning activities for the whole month, is you dont really know what is going to be happening on any given day and sometimes we just didn't get to it. The kids didn't seem fussed, (particularly the one about going up to people and singing carols at the shops... WHAT was I thinking with that one??! Esther wouldn't have a bar of it, and I wasn't keen either.) However I did feel it was important to try and do most of things that had come up in the previous days. So I rallied Shane on Saturday, and we all six of us, headed out into the drizzly afternoon. We deposited the 'good news of Christmas' (http://enochwalkedwithgod.wordpress.com/ to read the Christmas message tract I penned) into letter boxes in our neighborhood. We barely got 50m from home when Charlotte decided her shoes were unwearable and we had to have a little battle over wearing them or heading home for new ones, of which neither option seemed acceptable to her. Shane ended up dashing back and returning with some. We had kept going but then turned around when I realised we were missing the 'rack' cards we needed, Zipporah was whining, it was a little rainy, I was getting flustered and not a little affected by the multiple nights with multiple wake ups and not-nearly-enough sleep... But it seemed to obvious an attempt to deter us and try to get us into grumps. So after dashing home on my own to get them, we were on our mission again. We went to the closest bus stop and stuck on to it a 'rack' card with our Christmas 'good news' PLUS a $10 note to sweeten up the whole package! :) (coming by the following day it was a little disheartening to see the money gone and the 'good news' remaining in its place... if only the true value of the message was understood! I hope they felt blessed none the less!) Onward from there to our local shops, Shane had to take Hudson for a trip to the loo... He took the sticky tape and 'good news' and taped it up next to the urinal! I was really hoping he would take a picture of this to show you, but alas, he did not... :)

We had a couple more 'rack' cards with $2 that the kids stuck into a little play car like we did previously. Went into Woolies and bought a coke and chocolate bar which I took to one of my favourite shop keepers! I noticed she was in the store room when I came past, and I was hoping to quickly sneak it in and leave it on the counter next to the cash register , with the 'rack' note attached. But she was turning back as I entered the store so I sheepishly passed over the treats. She was surprised, and seemed very pleased! The ladies in this store are always so friendly and chatty, it was really fun to be able to do this small thing to bless them in return. I headed back to Shane and the kids, who had gone back into Woolies to buy a gift to put under the 'Salvos tree' that was set up in the shop foyer. The kids chose a cool ninja turtles sleeping bag/back pack. Mission complete. We headed back home! Yesterday afternoon I walked down to the pharmacy to get the second round of anti-biotics for the girls (tonsilitis! AGAIN!) While we were waiting for the script, we stuck another 'rack' card with $2 on it to the bus stop out front.

I think the most fun we had with this random kindness thing was yesterday afternoon, after church. We went through the Mcdonalds drive-thru. Fortunately someone came in behind us after we ordered (at first no one seemed to be coming and we were thinking we might have to drive-thru twice!) We ordered happy meals for the kids and then Shane explained to the guy taking orders that we were doing acts of kindness and wanted to pay for the guy behind us.
 "Really?! Are you sure? It could be a lot of money!" Yeah we were sure!
 "AW! That is the sweetest thing. Aw that is so sweet of you!"

He was so sweet, the way he kept saying 'sweet'! Aw! His reaction was really lovely! I was expecting we would pay the bill for the guy behind ($9) and be on our way, before he got a chance to grasp what had just happened. What we were not expecting was for this lovely young man, to get out of his car in the drive-thru and walk over to us, looking all bewildered and happy and thanking us- apologetic for not having something for US!! Heck! Was not expecting that! You really don't have to have anything for us! :) We said Merry Christmas and waved him off and he headed back to the car (you can see him getting in his car in that bottom picture).

It really was fun! Just to do the unexpected, an act of generosity for someone you don't know, and who can't do anything in return, but makes them feel special. We loved it! Shane was all "that's the best $9 I've ever spent!" definitely will do that again! Maybe we will make it a family tradition? ;) Now THAT's what I call a happy meal! ;)

RACK part 2 and the life that goes with it

Well we have had a fun few days since I last posted. I have to say though, I am glad that I have kept most of the activities fairly 'low-key', especially since it is my first time venturing into the world of 'acts of random kindness' and bringing my children along with me. It is a busy time of year...

Today I rushed out after school drop off to get to our church playgroup, (did I mention that last night I got about 4 hours sleep due to a teething child?) the final one for the year, and I had baked some gingerbread Christmas trees to be decorated by the kids. I did that yesterday afternoon with Hudson, while Zipporah napped. The decorating was a hit! I had baked and another girl had brought along the decorations and icing, even just that small sharing of the role, meaning I only had to bring the cookies made the task of baking seem that much lighter. It's funny how much a mental block doing things can be... The straw that breaks the camel's back can be something as little as having to make an extra trip to the shops for gingerbread decorations, as well as doing the baking itself. I am so glad that I can work as part of a team with other ladies at our church- thanks again Misty :)! (I am pretty sure the feeling was mutual as Misty seemed rather overwhelmed at the thought of baking gingerbread cookies for everyone.) Just before I had left for playgroup I received a call from the dental clinic. At the exact moment of receiving the call I remembered the reminder text from a couple of days ago...Ah! The appointment was for 9:50am Thursday. Why on earth had I not realised that at no point were we going to be able to make it?! The lady kindly rescheduled us for later in the afternoon. 2:20pm that should be fine, post-party no worries.

Anyway, after playgroup we drove home (Shane was with me as he had something on this morning and picked me up) I remembered with a start that Charlotte's class party was at 12:30 and I had promised to bring food and come for the party! Shane dropped me at the shops while he got petrol (we were getting dangerously low) I bought some sushi (special request from the party girl) and dashed home and just about beat Shane after getting petrol! It was 12:45, Zipporah goes down for a nap. I sliced up the sushi onto a platter and chucked Hudson in the stroller, got to the party just before 12. The sushi was happily received.

After chilling with the reception kids and mum's I begin to make my way home- though only after a stand-off with a reluctant Hudson. A stand-off that I failed to win, even after seriously calling his bluff and disappearing from his view for a good few minutes!! He remained un flustered  and stalwart in his defiance. I snuck up from the side as he was watching for me from another direction, but I wasn't quick enough and he dashed up the playground with a cheeky grin.  A few pathetic threatenings later and I threw my dignity to the wayside, jumping up and chasing him down, cornering him by the slide and tunnel, I threw him over my shoulder fireman style and home we went, with minimal protests, I think he quite enjoyed the whole process.

There was a little window of calm as Zipporah was still sleeping when I got home (BTW my husband was home working I hadn't abandoned my baby during this time) and Hudson played contentedly on his own (Okay...he was on the ipad.) Arien was finishing up some cool pictures we had employed him to do of the girls, caricatures of them with their teacher's to give as part of their gift. I found the photo paper, resized the photos and printed, trimmed and added to the gift bag. Zipporah awakes and has a little play in the back yard, before it's time to head back to school for school pick up. The girl's proudly took their gifts to the teacher's. We stayed at school for a while longer, enjoying the play equipment and running around (well not me so much, I sat and watched). As we made our way home it hit me; I TOTALLY FORGOT the dentist appointment!!! TWICE IN ONE DAY! Ahhh! SO embarrassing! I rang the dentist apologising profusely and she was very gracious! We have rescheduled for Februrary. :/

I think my point in relating some of the day's events is to say, having extra things to do, especially in December can quickly become a curse rather than a blessing. I think it is really important if we decide to do things 'to make it special for the kids' we have to enjoy it too. If we don't enjoy it, than it's not really going to be a special time. We will resent it, and them most likely. I think WE have to be excited about whatever it is we are doing and see its value and do-ability. And for each family that is going to look different, depending on the children, their age and stage and depending on the Mother. Each of us have a unique personality and passions, which I do believe, make us the perfect Mother for OUR children. Comparison in areas such as these, as in so many others, is not profitable. Condemning ourselves about what we 'should' be doing is so counter-productive. Don't feel bad about what you aren't doing, just simply enjoy what you are doing. And most of all try and enjoy your kids. Their expectations are not as high as ours are! At the end of the day it's the love and enjoyment we experience in our relationships that really matter not how many activities we do.

Though I am doing something 'more' and different to what I have other years, and it has taken a bit of pre-thought, organisation and enthusiasm on my part. I have, I think, remained realistic about what we can achieve and enjoy during this time. Many of our activities have simply been to incorporate things I would do anyway- like the gifts for teachers. But the kids now have a bit more ownership and involvement. There have been a few acts of kindness that didn't really make it to the intended recipient (like the cards the girls made for the librarian and canteen helpers)...oh well!

The girls did do a great job of helping with the gingerbread making. We had enough to make a couple extra bags of cookies and so we took them to the PE teacher and the music teacher (they probably miss out on gifts at the end of the year I thought), it wasn't in our 'plan' it really was a random one! We have also had fun doing a few other little craft things together as part of our advent count down- decorating our mailbox, front door and little tree on the verge out front. Small little things, but they seem to find it quite thrilling! It's easy to get a mental block about having to do anything extra during the Christmas season. Having a fun and special Christmas season doesn't need to involve a lot of extra time and money and complications... Just looking out for little ways to make it brighter and special for one another, and remembering to ENJOY life along the way.

Random acts of Christmas kindness part 1!

December 2nd and we are into our month of advent activities. Instead of treats each day for the kids, they open up a labelled paper bag to discover what random act of kindness (or another others-focused activity) we will be doing.

Yesterday was day 1, since it was Sunday, I asked the girls to write a little note to someone at church. Easy to do and warmly received by recipients. Char is a lot more shy than Esther so she needs encouragement to do things like this, but it was not too confronting passing along a little envelope. Tick!

Today, the plan of action was to pin some $2 coins onto the ride-on cars at the local shops. The girls were pretty excited about this when we opened it up this morning and were eager to get on to it when they got home from school. They quickly changed and were a bundle of excitement to go on this sneaky venture! I was pleasantly surprised that Hudson had himself absorbed in some activity in the cubby house, involving ropes and buckets and didn't want to come along. I didn't push the point as Hudson is probably a tad young to appreciate what we were about to do, and I could foresee the potential for tantrums at not getting to ride the cars at the shops himself! So, he got to stay put with Uncle Arien and Opa and we headed on our merry way. (I narrowly avoided a mni break down myself as I couldn't find the santa sticky tape which, in my mind seemed absolutely essential for this activity....breathe... we found it!)

It was really fun coming to the shops with the sole purpose of doing sneaky kind things for other people and I really was amazed at how thrilled they were to do it AND they didn't ask for anything!(OK, almost! we did pass Wendy's on the way out and Esther cast a longing glance and a meek request my way, but coped with the negative response well).

Our first target was occupied, so we went to the next known kid-vehicle. The girls hopped in, bag in hand, whipped out the card and sticky tape and quickly fixed it, upside down, between the steering wheels (there is always two right?). Then, they quickly bounded out and we scurried away back to the first car which was now empty, same again, into the ambulance they hopped, out comes the sticky tape and card and job done!

We had two more cards with $2 coins and the challenge was what to do wtih them as there are no more ride ons at our shops... We popped into Foodland as I thought maybe we could stick it in the chocolate aisle...? A definite 'no' from Esther on that one... We rode up the escalator to the cinemas to see if the gamer machines were still there...Nope...Hmmmm...Esther had a brainwave. Back we walked to the toy store, and there was the perfect thing- a $2 toy dispenser machine thing, which I had never really observed. Brilliant!

The last one we stuck onto the inside of the 'whale' that is a popular play spot. Some lucky child will discover it and can spend as desired!

It was a great success for our first public outing of random acts! It really was fun to see the kids get into it and feel the joy of doing unexpected kindnesses to others... We did do a few laps around the shops to see what had been taken, the first car was empty upon our return!... It is slightly unsatisfying not to see the finder's reaction... But, the girls just had so much fun being the instigators and I think imagining how someone might respond and having the mystery of remaining anonymous is quite a thrill! And I love that their mind is getting off of themselves and onto others!

Christmas is coming

So, a couple more sleeps and December will be upon us! This year I was feeling a little bit tired at the thought of Christmas preparations... I have a strong desire to make Christmas fun and special for the kids, and also to teach them about the true meaning of Christmas. It's so easy to get bogged down in societal/cultural pressures of how to approach Christmas- which seems to result in feelings of exhaustion and a bleeding bank account.

I don't know what your kids are like, but I have observed many times when my attempts to give them 'treats' does not result in the anticipated shower of thanks and delight. Instead, there comes a barrage of complaints. Comparisons, cries of; 'it's not fair! She has MORE than me!' or 'Why didn't I get THAT one?!' and then I feel the need the lecture about gratefulness and make statements like 'SEE! STUFF doesn't make you happy!! You are actually more unhappy now then before I gave you the treat!' to which they miserably respond 'NO! I AM more happy now!' in a tone that makes their words extremely hard to believe.

So back to Christmas...I am faced with the challenge of making it special and fun for the kids, whilst understanding that an overload of treats and special things for them will not make life more full for them (despite what the advertising would have you believe), but in fact, with their level of maturity right now will actually make them MORE unhappy (and more unhappy for mum too) So I have decided to set aside last year's advent calendar which was a daily activity/treat for the kids to enjoy. Instead, I am getting a little creative and thinking beyond the walls of our home in a bid to get back to the true meaning of Christmas- which I think will ultimately be a lot more fun for the kids and I will feel the pleasure of knowing they are also learning eternal lessons.

We are going to do a daily advent calendar again, but this time I am planning a 'RACK' random act of kindness (not so random really, as they are going to be pre-planned...) I have a brainstorm list of ideas, I got some great ideas from my FB community too which was fun. So each day the kids will get to open the paper bag and find inside the plan for the day. To keep it doable I am going to involve some acts of kindnesses to one another as well as our wider community. I will also throw in a few little craft  and family
activities as well for variety. I really want to keep it 'others' centred as much as possible and about working and playing together. Avoiding the 'ME' getting stuff thing. I am anticipating a fun time of meeting people in our community and being an unexpected blessing. I also hope to inspire in my children a life long passion for giving. It really is more blessed to give then to receive and I believe helping them to understand this is giving them something of supreme value.

I am super-keen to throw off the restraints of the commercial-ness of Christmas. To embrace joy, gratitude and simple friendliness. To remember the story of Christmas; how God was so generous to send us his son as our salvation. This Christmas we will be making a deliberate effort to remember this, and to respond in a similar, generous fashion- inspired by Him!  It's a privilege to share His love with others. I am excited what this year will bring! Also, I will make a big effort to blog about our experiences and share them with you!

'Tis the Season!

You CAN do it!

Why hello. I have been simmering on this thought for a little while... Prompted to ponder again as I recently read a blog entitled 'to mothers of one or two children'. I was intrigued. I read on, even though  I now have four... The author of this blog post was actually the mother of five children and she was basically writing encouragement/advice to mother's of one or two children who currently feel overwhelmed by their load and cannot fathom how these (supposed) super mums- with more than that, manage to stay sane and keep everyone bathed and in the right size/ appropriate gender clothing (most days). I thought it was a great idea to de-mystify the 'how do you manage??' question that mothers of  numerous children always illicit. What it came down to in her response was, over time your capacity increases, but at the beginning it's just as difficult (if not more so) than down the track with more. I totally concur! So mother's of one or two who are feeling completely overwhelmed... Just know; that is totally normal! YOU are totally normal. Those 'other' women who seem to be coping so well aren't really that different from you, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!

I look back on my time with a wildly-energetic toddler girl and then a new baby girl as the most difficult days in my parenting so far. I think its worth remembering, especially if you have the first couple quite close together in age, that you are still quite a new mum. Even though it feels like you have now been a parent FOREVER, it's really not been that long. Your body, your frame of reference, everything is still adjusting to this new way of life. Just give yourself a break and remember, you are still new to the job, learning new habits and disciplines that will make your life easier. Learning how to manage behaviour (including your own). So just have a little patience with yourself knowing its still early days and in a lot of ways being a mum is a learned process.

I remember after Esther was born thinking about how many nappy changes and feeds ahead of me there were...The hours, days and weeks ahead seemed to be a very daunting prospect with all these new and unfamiliar tasks that need to be completed, over and over again. Not to mention all the other things that still need doing. I really wasn't very good at it. Not very good at keeping on top of anything. I tend to deal with the urgent needs of the moment, but not a great plan-ahead, get-ahead type of girl... Lumping a whole lot of new 'jobs' on my hands when I hadn't been any good at doing the ones I already had, seems a little hopeful on someone's part. Probably just as well that I was blissfully ignorant of all the true challenges ahead. I did adore my baby and new I was BORN to be a mother. Becoming a disciplined, non-lazy, organised adult? Well, that would take some deliberate effort!! ( and I am far from 'there' yet!)

You break a lot of ground with baby number one. We were certainly enthusiastic in reading and learning about parenting and implementing what we learned. A lot of that work pays off with the others, in that they do watch and learn from the older. There are certain boundaries that they seem to pick up from seeing what the older one is and isn't doing. Of course each child brings their own set of unique discipline challenges, but I do think it was easier with our subsequent children- if only because we were more practised! And I guess practice does make perfect. It amuses me to think how I stared in awe and (just a little bit of) horror in the face of ALL those nappy changes and feeds ahead of me. Ha!  If I only I knew then how many nappy changes were actually ahead of me in the coming years!!! I really don't give it a second thought now. It's just a part of normal life.

Maybe it would help if we viewed motherhood like other occupations or trades. Think of your first few years as an apprenticeship. Still learning all the skills required, still adapting to your new role. Of course we never stop needing support and wisdom in our parenting journeys, but the first few years are especially intense. So if you are in this place right now as a mother, take a moment to be proud of yourself for what you have achieved and what you are achieving. In lots of ways you are in the hardest part, I hope that makes you feel a little more hopeful about the future!

I look at my life now and reflect on those earlier days and realise my capacity really has increased. I feel I have undergone some intense training, and little by little I am learning and I am growing and I am getting better. Okay, I still have a mental block about laundry, but I am sure one day I will do that without thinking too!

 I was chatting to a friend today who recently had her third beautiful baby. She made the comment how much easier she found mothering when she 'surrendered to it'. I thought that was a perfect way to put it. I think its pretty normal to be having a bit of an inner battle in the first year or two about letting go of the 'old me'. When we realise there is no going back and just embrace the new life we are living, that is when we are able to find the 'new me'. You might be surprised when you discover you like her better anyway.

It is very important that at this point I make one thing very clear. The only reason I can truthfully say that I enjoy being a mother and that I have become (somewhat!) better at managing a household, while staying sane and maintaining a relationship with my husband, is all due to the vital relationship I have with Jesus Christ. I do say vital and that is no exaggeration. I would simply not be coping without the strength, joy, hope and purpose I find in Him daily. I have asked for wisdom and help OFTEN. I have cried pitifully on his shoulder and he has heard and helped me. I find JOY in the knowledge of his love for me and his purpose for my life and for the lives of my children. I cannot imagine, nor do I want to, life without his presence. If there is any secret to life, let alone motherhood surely HE is it.

I think God was smart with me. He knew the best way to get me to grow up and become mature and responsible and a lot less lazy was blessing me with four beautiful children. It's funny to think that giving me MORE when I was doing terrible with the little I had was the best way to get me to improve. I am thankful for his generosity. For entrusting me with these lives, for being patient with me and believing I could do it. With Him by my side, I know that I can, and if I can do it, YOU can too!

Date night

We used to have date nights. We would leave the house, which we had to ourselves, and go out to be ... together... Using our disposable income to watch movies and eat out, so that we could enjoy some 'quality time together.' Even then I remember thinking 'why do we need to do this again?' I had heard so much about the need for these things called 'date nights'. How vital they were to a healthy marriage and all that. So we were a good newly married couple and were doing the right thing. Even though it did seem a little unnecessary at the time...Because it WAS. I reckon if we had put a $1 in a jar for every time we had a date night BEFORE kids, we would still have plenty of coins left for parking by the time we hit our golden years.

Its a mysterious thing those date nights. What you expect, what he expects, how frequently you both want them. Well I could probably just omit HIM from the whole scenario because I am sure if the term 'date night' had never been invented he would be a lot happier. Am I sounding cynical? If I am it's not so much about the reality of married life with four children, it's more that I have become critical about the expectations we put on ourselves and on each other. Maybe we should stop and re-examine the whole deal...

I get it. I get the great 'idea' behind the importance of quality time together. I am into that. But for some reason the whole term 'date-night' I think causes more harm than good. I think its become this pressurised expectation to have these 'dates'. For them to be great and meaningful and building up of the marriage and seriously, half the time they just become fuel for the next argument... Who picks what movie, who is being a martyr by letting the other one pick the movie. Babysitters, getting out on time, feeling frustrated someone isn't ready or enthusiastic enough. Hurt feelings and disappointment after all that EFFORT gone to waste.

I think I am going to become the champion of the unofficial date night. Forget the movies and cafes. I am getting more and more annoyed at the idea we need to go and buy something, consume things - to have a meaningful time together. Spending money just adds to the pressure of it all. And ladies, lets just decide to quit nagging about how little time we spend together and why we don't go on enough dates. Who wants to go on more dates with someone who is nagging you? It's just the wrong approach. I think at some point we just have to LET it go (at least a little bit!). Try a different tactic. Try being fun instead of whiny. I know that I fluctuate between the two, but at least when I am laughing about our hopeless dating life I am not crying about it!

Now I really do think we need to grow our marriages and keep them as a priority. I heard a stat, that certainly rings true; that most marriages end (if they are going to) in the first five years after having children. It's understandable as this is a highly pressurised time in life. You are both likely sleep deprived, which makes everything ten times harder, and the other person is an easy target to blame ANYTHING you aren't happy about on. Let's just stop and think for a moment how much we blame each other for our frustrations and inconveniences.... Yes, a lot. Stop that.

So yes this IS a time in life where it seems like date nights are the answer, but as I pointed out they are fraught with all sorts of silly expectations and let downs and then the inevitable 1am sob session which really messes with your beauty sleep. 'What happened to us?' 'we used to go on dates... we used to have fun...' Yes, before you had children. Now get to bed, it will all look better in the morning (yes even when you have red puffy eyes). Let's just realise that this is a challenging season of married life and, to some degree, you have to bear with it.

Now I am kinda hoping Shane won't read this because I do not want him to think he is really off the hook with the date nights... But he kind of is. I don't really care about going out to the movies or the cafes. I don't want to hassle him any more about it. I just want to have fun with him. In between the child wrangling and working that we do. To stay on the same team. To have the attitude that we are here for each other. We have each other's backs. That we see the best in one another and over look the bad. I can give up the date night but I won't give up the fun. I think we have to fight for fun in our marriages. To stay light-hearted. To choose to let the little things go and SMILE when he comes home, just so he knows you are happy to see him and he is welcome back in. Not that you pretend you are doing well if you aren't, but just don't blame him for your bad days. It's not his fault, it's not your fault. You are in this together and stay side by side. Resist the temptation to become enemies. If our hearts aren't full of kindness to each other, the date night will just become an opportunity to vent all the pent up hurt and frustration. It won't be fun. We need to daily enjoy each other, and this is a conscious choice. If marriage and love came naturally we wouldn't have to commit to it. But we do.

Tonight after the kids went to bed, we decided to play a game of scrabble. As we started I suggested we make the game more interesting by having to compliment each other using the word we just played... :) Shane's first word was 'PEEVE'.... 'I haven't been peeved off at you at all today.' That set me off laughing hysterically (the fact that this is ACTUALLY a compliment?! But hey, I will take it!) and the terrible compliments that we gave each other throughout the night were a great source of merriment ('if were were on a boat with thousands of people, you would still be the best looking'...) Yes our imaginations not at their greatest after 8pm. The game abruptly ended when I accidentally rolled the game into oblivion with some electrical tape... But shane was winning anyway and those compliments were getting a little painfully bad. Seriously, best date night in ages. My advice for equally frustrated date-nighters. Forget the formalities and just have fun. When you do, chalk it up as another successful date. :)

The sock that broke the camel's back.

I think I am getting there. Making progress, little by little. Slowly coming to terms with my 'lot' and the responsibilities they involve. Slowly learning to joyfully give of myself daily, to get the jobs done with a cheerful heart. I think I am getting better, a little...? I hope! I am certain at least some of the laziness has been knocked out of me with all these children to look after, the house to clean the food to cook. Truly honestly I actually enjoy the challenge most days. I want to sink my teeth into it all, to do it and do it well. Another morning and we start all over again, and again and again, YAY! :)

But I must tell you that some days I am on the edge. Some days my sanity is very nearly about to come crashing down around me, and everyone nearby! Some days all it takes is ONE MORE FLIPPIN ODD SOCK and I think I am going to scream in frustration!!!!!!!!!

Do you hear me ladies?! Those blasted socks just seem to be sent by the devil himself, sent to trip us up and leave us pulling our hair out and on a really bad day- in tears. Ok, I don't know if I have actually cried over the odd sock situation...Yet! But what is it about those lonely little wanderers that makes the house seem far more out of control then their size warrants? Another item I find that, when out of place seems to have disproportionate impact on the apparent 'tidiness' of a room; coathangers!!! Can I get an amen out there?! The thing about coat hangers is that they not only make the room look cluttered and in disarray, probably because when a coathanger is not in the closet it is so OBVIOUSLY NOT where it is supposed to be. There is no good excuse for them to be lying around... Unlike socks, which have lots of good excuses, one for every little hand that pulled it off in a hurry and forgot to put them away. Or they lost their buddy in the washing cycle somewhere...sad, yet so terribly common. Living in Darwin this wasn't so much a problem as we only wore socks for sport or when visiting family down 'south'. Oh those were the good old days...

Yes I have seen those 'oh so cute' ideas on Pinterest for ways to store and even display your odd socks. Like a lovely glass jar in the laundry room, or a peg board with the slogan 'wanted' written above four pegs, where you can attach a sock missing its mate....FOUR socks? Are you kidding me?... If I had a peg board like that I would need about 137 spots on it! AND I don't think rows of jars with odd socks on our laundry shelf would look attractive...

I will tell you how I deal with the sock 'situation' as I am going to now call it. It is a situation that it is imperative you keep under control, we must deal with this or it will deal with us. Find a bag, a reasonably nice one, but not one you are going to need for anything else, because this bag will always need to be in use. I use a kind of canvassy/cloth tote that one of the girls decorated at school or something like that... I hang it on the closet door handle. I find an odd sock, I take a deep breath. I don't freak out, I don't question my organisational abilities, I don't panic. I put the sock in the bag. I forget about it.

Every few weeks, or months, or whenever the kids completely run out of socks, we tip the bag on the floor and sit there for a good 45 minutes or so and pair up as many as we can. There are always more that go back in the bag, but that is ok, that is what the bag is for. We gather them back up, we put the sock bag on the handle and we start again. I try not to think about it, and I try to remember how many socks we actually have and to NOT buy anymore.

I recently started a new odd sock bag, especially for Hudson's little boy socks. I do hope this makes him feel special. For Shane and I? I don't even bother, his drawer is full of oddsies and we just wear the closest match ups we can find. The fact that we live with my parents and sometimes intermingle washing just exacerbates the odd sock problem no end. Sometimes I sneak a pile of adult odd socks into their room when I can't take it anymore.

I had a brain wave a couple of days ago to do with the socks; to kill two birds with one stone. As a time out activity/discipline, instead of setting the timer as we so often do, I could give the child the sock bag and they would have to pair up a stated number of socks before coming out of time-out...Brilliant I thought.

How about you? Does the sock 'situation' cause you similar traumas as it does me? How do you deal with it? I know I am not the only one!!

Grow babies, grow!

There are a lot of false ideas around parenting. Throughout my parenting experience I have had many moments of revelation where I get an insight into just how wrong my previous way of thinking has been. There are so many culturally accepted norms that are just wrong, on so many levels and in so many ways.

One little idea that needs new understanding is the whole idea of children growing older. Getting bigger. It should really not be surprising that this process of growth is taking place constantly in our children. Why is it that we exclaim with seeming surprise;
 'Wow! Look how big they are?!' 'Not a baby anymore! Gosh! Time flies doesn't it?!'

Now, its not necessarily a bad thing to exclaim over the growth of a child, but often associated with these observances is an undertone of regret or sadness. As though we really wish they would stay small and not grow up. I think we need to challenge this desire. It's got to be the most common thing you hear parents say (particularly ones whose children have already grown up) 'it goes SO fast'. While I do think that this is a truth we need to keep in mind, most often it does seem to be tainted wtih this feeling that growing up is a sad reality. That the childhood years are the best and then it's...over and all thats left is a wistfulness of what once was. No thanks!

News flash. Our children are SUPPOSED to grow up! It's the way God has made them and it is a GOOD thing! There is going to be a kind of normal sense of sadness at saying goodbye to each season that finishes, but it should be recovered in a wonderful sense of expectancy for what this new season and chapter will bring for them and for us! The idea that any one season of life for our children or for ourselves is 'the best' and needs to be gripped onto for dear life is misplaced.

I say this as a person who has been extremely nostalgic! Even as a young child I seemed to have a heightened sense of passing time and the desire to record things, to treasure them. I would pore over pictures of my siblings and I think fondly of 'our childhood' when I was 12! I became an obsessive diary writer because I never wanted to forget anything. To let any day go by unnoticed. I can relate to feeling precious about certain periods of time. It took me quite awhile to come to grips with the impending loss of Esther's (my oldest's) teeth! Those baby teeth are so precious to me! I literally cried when her first tooth appeared in that gummy smile of hers! I was so PROUD! I love that little smile. The thought that I have to say goodbye to it, to that season of babyhood, is a little heart-tearing, I'll admit it. Losing those top two teeth was something I had to steel myself for. Pathetic, I know!

 Let's not taint their delight in each development by our underlining sadness of what has been left behind. Let's let go of that. Let's rejoice in the changes and the new territory that comes with growth. Let's grow with them! May God grant us wisdom and insight for each new season of parenting. They are not, and never were, ours to keep. Ours to hold onto. We are entrusted to guard and guide them as they GROW. WE have the privileged position of front row seats to what God is doing in their lives, physically, emotionally and spiritually and we have a lead part to play in that development.

They are here to grow, to change and to develop. We should not lament the season that has been but rejoice. God has a good plan for their lives. And seriously, if truly given the opportunity to stop the growing, at say, the toddler years, would you REALLY want to take it?! A couple years as a toddler is probably enough I reckon.

Esther needs her adult teeth because God has designed her to grow into an adult. That is her destiny and I am here to watch her grow into that. To cheer her on, not to create a shrine to her baby teeth to sit on the mantle piece til time immemorial (on a side note i kept my baby teeth til i was .... I don't know they are probably in a box somewhere still...WHY?! What on earth will I or anyone else want with my baby teeth?! Will my grandchildren want to see them one day? Probably not...!!! Someone please stop me from saving my children's teeth too, don't let me be on the next episode of hoarders!) Look I think I am writing this blog as a pep talk to myself. Just last week Charlotte  had her first hair cut. She just turned 5. It was time. she wanted it cut, so we did it. It looks super cute and grown up. Did I save some of her 'baby hair' in a plastic bag for her grand kids to look at one day? Yes I did. I need to let go. I am working on it.

I am determined to press on toward the goal. What are we here for? What are they here for? It's not just so I can make a beautiful scrap book of their beautiful little lives. Its for them to get some character, to grow into godly young women (and men!) to fight the good fight! That is the goal, and each step closer to that; physically and spiritually is worth being happy about. So I am going to be happy about it!

Smile, say "Cheese"!

Click, click, click, click, ka-chick, ka-chick.

The sound of moments captured.

With the simple touch to a button, or most often, an iphone screen, another photo taken.

and another, and another, and just one more, and one more from a slightly different angle...

I flip through them again quickly... Hmmm should I delete any? Well, maybe that one...but, oh, he has such a precious expression there, a moment that will never be repeated...Why not keep it? What's one more? 

GAH!!

If you are anything like me you are drowning under the weight of the photos you have taken in the last 3-4 years. The last few years of historical life moments that had to be captured. Babies and toddlers and birthdays, holidays, normal days, every days, boring days, funny days. They are all there. Captured, saved, uncategorised....

GAH!!

It was such a beautiful relationship when it started. Oh the fun! The ease! Wow, you mean I don't have to buy expensive film any more? I don't have to limit my creative licence because of money now?! Woo hoo! Photo shoots and happy snaps til we can't move our fingers any more  there couldn't possibly be a down side to the wonders of this new technology?!

GAH!!!

I really shouldn't complain. I am so blessed to have a rich life with so many moments worth capturing...But...what do I do with them all? And when? Who has the time to trawl back through the weeks, months and years of photos taken and decide just what to do with them all? Sigh. 

It's like mount everest and I am afraid of heights.

Anyone else know the feeling??

Red Velvet Beetroot

Well hello. Here's another recipe based post! Two in a row! Woo. Quite unusual for me, as I tend to veer into writing about the philosophical aspects of life and not always in the nitty gritty of everyday in the kitchen. However, I posted about this recipe on facebook and was requested to put it 'on the blog' and so I am!

Was in Goolwa (nearby ocean town) this past few days, escaping the heat in Adelaide (41c on Monday!). My parents and bro joined me and the four kiddies heading down there. I was grateful for the moral (and practical) support as Shane is on a 4WD trip this week... I was feeling slightly daunted at the prospect of being at home, stuck inside (due to heat) for a few days and so we made a plan to get out of town. My sister lives down in Goolwa and was entertaining visitors at the same time. She made too much dessert (is there such a thing?) and so called us to come and collect some. Happy to help. Now my sister really is a domestic goddess, and we knew we were in for a treat. I have to say I had my doubts that the Red Velvet Beetroot cupcakes she was offering might not be up my alley...
I have experienced chocolate beetroot cakes before, well i don't mind them, I have found them to be a little too earthy tasting- know what I mean?

Well, I was pleased to have my doubts driven away with one bite. Delicious! The mascarpone icing finsihed it off a treat! It's light and fluffy, with a slight chocolatey, beetroot flavor. Though the beetroot adds to the colour you still need food colouring to make it really red. Though if you aren't fussed about the presentation you could just leave it out. Personally I think it's kinda fun and novel.

I have always wondered 'whats the deal' with red velvet cake? It seems very American and I assumed it was just red food colouring in a vanilla cake. A bit dumb, I always thought. Though in looking up this recipe a bit I discovered that orginally (yes nowadays its a lot about the food colouring) there was something about the combination of buttermilk, with a little bit of cocoa that causes some reaction making the cake a bit reddish...obviously not red enough otherwise people wouldn't add food colouring. But I guess that's where the idea of making it red all started. Nice to know there is some authentic reason behind it all. I can lay that bug bear to bed...phew.

Despite my annoyance at the idea of simply adding food colouring to make it 'red velvet' there has always been something appealing to me about the cake (though i didn't like to admit it) Now that I have this recipe, that includes the anti-oxidant rich beetroot, I can make, bake and truly enjoy- guilt free! Well, almost, it is quite sweet, I reckon you can cut out at least a 1/4 cup of sugar and not miss it.

Instead of mascarpone icing I experimented with a bit of a cream cheese icing with coconut cream in it. Yummy. I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I have! :)

red velvet beetroot cakes with mascarpone icing
1 beetroot
100g unsalted butter
1 1/4 cup caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1 3/4 plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2 tablespoons cocoa
2 tablespoons red food colouring
3/4 cup buttermilk (add a bit of lemon juice or vinegar to the milk to make it curdle)

mascarpone icing
3 cups mascarpone
1/2 cup icing sugar

bake the beetroot first, you need half a cup of puree.
preheat to 180c. PLace butter (softened), sugar and vanilla in a mixer adn beat for 8-10 mins til pale and creamy. Add eggs one at a time, beat well. Add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cocoa, food colouring, buttermilk and beetroot puree and beat on low speed until combined. Divide between cupcake tray. Bake for 20-25 mins or until cooked (duh!). Cool for at least 10 mins and turn out.

To make icing place the mascarpone and sugar and whisk to combine. Cut cakes in half and ice in the middle and on top.

I did my own varaiation of the icing- with cream cheese, sour cream, a bit of coconut milk, butter and icing sugar. Then I sprinkled coconut on top to cover the lumps!!

Enjoy!