I am pregnant with baby number 3. It is such a blessing to have two lovely, healthy children and to know another one is on the way. It's such an enormous privilege to carry new life into the world, I really cannot get my head around it. Considering what an awesome gift it is, it's surprising how often it is seen as more of a burden than a blessing. I have found that it is very easy to become overwhelmed by all of the demands that are on me as a Mother of two young children already, add to that the hormones, the exhaustion, the weight gain, the bad skin, the stretch marks, the nausea, the feeling ugly and fat and a million other bizarre things that can afflict you as the bearer of new life... and well...it feels a little less than the inspiring and wondrous experience I know deep down that it really is.
I have been reflecting on this lately; in particular the whole issue of weight gain and body image and how that affects how we see ourselves when pregnant. Almost all of the time when I see a pregnant woman, I think 'how incredible, how beautiful' there is something so fascinating about seeing a woman who is carrying a life inside of her that I think everyone is drawn to look. I notice people looking at me and I know I do the same when a pregnant woman goes by. Even after being pregnant three times myself I am still amazed by seeing it happening to others, in fact I probably find it more captivating than ever. The image of a mother-to-be is really quite spectacular, and I think it is also an amazing reminder of the wondrous fact that Jesus himself came into the world this way- through the womb of a woman. Immanuel, God with us. Life and birth are glorious and as women we are truly blessed to have such an active role in it.
However, this privilege is not without suffering (as we know full well!)- but I have found the suffering I have gone through to bear children has also been a gift. It reminds me that to bring us spiritual life, God suffered greatly. Our pain in labour is a small picture of what he has gone through to bear spiritual children. When I reflect on the fact that God likened the pain of bringing forth spiritual children to that of physical labour I am awed and humbled. I have never experienced pain like I have in child birth and if that is just a glimpse, how great was his pain for us? I consider it an honour to have even that glimpse of what he went through- and to have the joy of children afterward, to know that it is not a gift lightly given, nor should it be lightly received. It is a responsibility of the greatest magnitude. I think the 9 months of carrying a child and then the hours of pain to birth them, are a very sobering introduction to parenting! Not to be taken lightly or for granted!
All this wonder, responsibility and blessing and yet I still get bogged down in worrying about my weight. As each month progresses and my thighs thicken at an alarming rate. The back of which i glimpsed in a mirror, bringing with it pangs of horror!!! It didn't help that the bathroom was stunningly lit with fluro lighting making my skin look terribly pasty and showing up every flaw, dent and blemish! Ah! Why is it that we are so bound by the image of the ideal woman? It haunts us at every turn. You would hope that at least for pregnancy we would be relieved of that pressure to be perfect, but it torments us still. The comparisons of slim pregnant women are out there to remind us 'some people can do it, why can't you?' 'Look how quickly she lost weight!' ' You would never even know she has had 4 children!!'
Our culture is cruel to women. Always just out of reach is that image, always the opposite of what we are, always poised to critique and condemn. I desire to be emancipated from this force that never allows me to rest and to accept myself for who I am and where I am at. I really believe satan is trying to steal the joy of pregnancy from us, the wonder of the experience by filling our mind with the things we aren't and should be. The stress and worry of how to lose the weight, get back to 'normal' that becomes the goal. I think it is important to be healthy, to eat well and exercise, but I don't believe we should be ruled by the pressure to be 'slim' or that if for a season we are not the ideal weight, to not be allowed to enjoy life, or be thankful for our bodies.
I don't like seeing myself gain weight, but when I focus on what my body is doing and how through this season a whole new person will join this world, fluctuating weight is a small price to pay. I hope I can begin to see myself as I see other pregnant women- as incredible, beautiful bearers of new life- whatever their weight. I hope if you are pregnant now you feel encouraged to do the same.
All this wonder, responsibility and blessing and yet I still get bogged down in worrying about my weight. As each month progresses and my thighs thicken at an alarming rate. The back of which i glimpsed in a mirror, bringing with it pangs of horror!!! It didn't help that the bathroom was stunningly lit with fluro lighting making my skin look terribly pasty and showing up every flaw, dent and blemish! Ah! Why is it that we are so bound by the image of the ideal woman? It haunts us at every turn. You would hope that at least for pregnancy we would be relieved of that pressure to be perfect, but it torments us still. The comparisons of slim pregnant women are out there to remind us 'some people can do it, why can't you?' 'Look how quickly she lost weight!' ' You would never even know she has had 4 children!!'
Our culture is cruel to women. Always just out of reach is that image, always the opposite of what we are, always poised to critique and condemn. I desire to be emancipated from this force that never allows me to rest and to accept myself for who I am and where I am at. I really believe satan is trying to steal the joy of pregnancy from us, the wonder of the experience by filling our mind with the things we aren't and should be. The stress and worry of how to lose the weight, get back to 'normal' that becomes the goal. I think it is important to be healthy, to eat well and exercise, but I don't believe we should be ruled by the pressure to be 'slim' or that if for a season we are not the ideal weight, to not be allowed to enjoy life, or be thankful for our bodies.
I don't like seeing myself gain weight, but when I focus on what my body is doing and how through this season a whole new person will join this world, fluctuating weight is a small price to pay. I hope I can begin to see myself as I see other pregnant women- as incredible, beautiful bearers of new life- whatever their weight. I hope if you are pregnant now you feel encouraged to do the same.
(ps. the unimpressed look in the photo is due to the fact that my mum told me to suck my butt in for the photo...thanks mum, case in point!)
