Judge not...

It has been far too long since I blogged last. If thinkign about it was good enough I would have half a dozen entries in the time that has lapsed since I last wrote. Life has been pretty busy with friends and family staying a trip interstate and then of course we got rid of the internet which eliminates my late night blogging spells, which almost eliminates my blogging altogether! But where there is a will there is a way and I WILL!

I have been thinking a lot about the issue of judgement. Heck I know I am as guilty as Hezbollah when it comes to judging others. I am sure not that long ago I prayed something like asking God to humble me...It's funny how you can make judgements about people, which at the heart of it all really say 'I am better than you'. That's what judgement is isn't it? We think we have a right to judge because we are in fact 'better' than the person in question. If we didn't, we probably would keep quiet. But we think we are better and that gives us a right to poin the finger and criticise others on quite a range of issues- there really are no bounds to the ways we can judge another. We are a better cook, a better cleaner, a better wife, a better artist, more fit, more beautiful, skinnier! That reminds me of a funny admission a friend once made to me. She was (and still is) quite a slender thing and she secretly confessed that when faced with other women that she feels inferior too, or intimidated by she says to herself, 'well, I'm skinnier!' I thought that was quite hilarious, but also sad and true. That is what we do, we find something in ourself that we think is quite great and praise worthy and then go about comparing ourselves to others based on our best points. How foolish.

I do this. I have this smugness sometimes, its really quite ugly when I think about it. I sit in a lofty place of judgement and make comparisons, usually only in my head, but the end conclusion is ultimately 'I am better'. Why do I do it? I guess in the end it is because I don't really believe I am better, but I am afraid of what I am not, I am insecure not fully confident in who God has made me and so I find this need to compare and contrast myself to feel better about who I am.

God doesn't like this. In my request to be humbled this is the area in me which he began to target. People who I was quietly and confidently sure that 'I was better' than in numerous ways (how awful it sounds when typed in black and white!) were found to be, in actual fact the opposite. Assumptions I had made on unfair judgements and a lack of love were revealed to be quite false on my part. I realised that the people in question were exemplary in a number of areas where I was lacking. I found myself in a situation where I thought I would have 'a lot to offer them' that it was quite the other way around. I found myself learning and growing in a suprising way. It was humble pie for me and it actually tasted good!

I am learning to be more gracious to others, keen to see their best attributes, to encourage and lift them up. Not to look for areas that I am 'better' than. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we needn't be intimidated by those who have strengths where we are weak or to be in judgement of those who have weaknesses where we are strong. If we always compare our strengths to others weaknesses, of course we will always come out looking great in our own eyes. But that is hardly fair, it is a twisted view of reality. It is a log in our own eye as we try and pluck the speck of dust from another.

No area is more tempting to judge another on than the area of parenting. Don't do it. We see people in the shops with kids that are out of control and think 'man, they are wild! Get them under control!' But hello, maybe next week it will be you, out having a bad day. We all have bad days and hate to think people judge all of our parenting on one tantrum. Let's be merciful to each other. Mums, I am talking to you! In our insecurity of wanting to be great mums, it is easy to pick on those that are struggling, to compare and feel better. Love, pray and encourage those that are struggling, keep your tongue from sharing someone else' struggle or disgrace. If you see them battling- don't talk about it with someone else, pray! Do unto others as you want them to do unto you! This is basics for us that call Jesus Lord, this is one of the ways we can live it out. Hold back your judgement, remember 'the measure you use to judge others will be the measures used to judge you.' Keep your hearts, thoughts and tongue in check, only God knows the whole story, realise we only see a small part of others lives. God sees all, make his opinion the one you are valuing, not your own, not others. He is the ultimate judge, and his judgements are just. Praise God!

Secret of Success

I have been pondering for awhile, what I would next blog about. I have many random, fleeting thoughts and ideas that come in and out of my mind, few of which make it to print (or pixel). There is something that keeps resurfacing though; the challenge of being a successful wife and mum is really what I spend most of my energy on, in thought and action.

I know what I want to be, as a wife and mum. I think we all do. We are well aware of our failures and our limitations. How do we get from here to 'there'? Is it even possible? I know I write a pretty chirpy blog, and I like baking and making my home pretty and having babies. But don't let that fool you! It is a battle.

I was listening to the radio the other morning and a pastor was sharing about his battle with depression. He was saying how everyone battles depression at different levels and varying intensities. I see the truth in this. I have joked that instead of having a year or two of depression in my life I have eeked it out in five minute chunks every morning instead! Even though I joke about it, the battle is real, and it really sucks to feel crap about life, especially first thing in the morning. The sense of being overwhelmed before the day's begun and not even knowing why. I usually shake these feelings pretty quick, but sometimes they linger or they sneak up on me at other times, unexpectedly and I feel hit with this sudden futility. What is the point? and I can't be bothered.

And there are those moments, I have them regularly. Those moments of choosing; meltdown or kneel down. I often opt, foolishly for melt down. But am quickly discovering the secret of success is to be found in the kneeling. Today is a perfect example; I am very overtired (after staying up to watch 'true beauty', i didn't know it was going to be a double episode!) and seeing that Esther is too, I decided to try and enforce proper nap time today... It started off looking very hopeful and I was feeling excited and successful when suddenly it all went south and suddenly I am having a battle of the wills and quickly losing my cool and my self assurance. Other anxieties and frustrations I have been experiencing with parenting all seem to be screaming at me how poor a job I am doing and how out of control we all are. I leave Esther with instructions to stay put, as I go out to the kitchen table where I put my head in my hands and just say 'Oh God! Help me! I don't know what to do, if you are the God of my life then I need you to be the God of this moment, be real for me in the midst of my trivial yet monumental needs. Please.'

That said, I continued on. I didn't really feel or hear anything from God at the time, but as I look back on the afternoon I am truly astounded at how, from that moment, things began going right again. I was able to calmly discipline Esther for her rebellion and the next thing I know I was praising her for her voluntary assistance in cleaning up. Both girls were helping me pick things up and put them away and I put on my music and we sang and had some fun. Not that they were angels all day, I still had some conflicts to sort out and telling-offs to do, but I felt freed from the frustrations that I had recently faced. I didn't drag them with us into the rest of the day. Too often one disappointment or disobedience can get me down and feeling suddenly overwhelmed, then all I feel like doing is having a bit of a cry and maybe a nap! It's a sort of desperation that comes over me.

The truth of the matter is, I really can't do my job well, or even cope, without God's help. We aren't supposed to be able to manage without him, so it should come as no surprise that the resources we have just aren't enough to cut it. We will always fall short. And that goes for EVERYTHING. Every area of life, we will never reach that place we want to get, the full potential we deep down desire to realise.

A friend was asking for tips for losing weight after baby, (I am not yet the poster girl for this but it is flattering that she should ask!) and honestly my answer would be- prayer. I keep praying and asking God for inspiration, motivation and strategies that will work for me. He knows me, he knows my body, he LOVES my body and he has the answers I am looking for. He is helping me every step of the way. Every bit of success I have had, I credit to the empowerment he is bringing me daily. Without God I am a lazy, unfit and inconsistent sweet tooth!! :) I can't maintain motivation for two days in a row! I NEED him and I know it. So I ask for help and he answers- try it!

Life is a journey. But it isn't just a nice little hike through a pretty little forest. This journey that we are on is also a battleground, and most often that battle is waged in our minds. It is a battle we just have to keep fighting; for our sanity, our marriage and our kids- there are no easy answers. I know that I need supernatural help to be the great mum I want to be. Heck! I need help just to cope enough to be able to smile at my husband when he comes through the door. Now THAT is a successful day!

Triathlon training!

Yes! You read correctly, I am training for a triathlon. I am not quite sure I believe it myself. I have certainly NEVER considered myself a sporty person and I really don't like the pain brought on by over exertion. However I do value my appearance and my health! Apparently vanity can be quite the motivator! Ha! Seriously, I have been trying, as many mums will understand, to shift the kilos brought on by baby-bearing and over-indulgence. I have had my successes over the past few years through different stints of exercise and healthy eating.

I had hit a plateau a couple of months ago and haven't lost much since then, exercise had fallen to the wayside a bit and I was feeling frustrated. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find a way to shed the stubborn 8 or so kilos that seem to stand between me and the ideal weight. I was feeling like there was no hope left, when inspiration struck!

Two friends of mine decided to stage their own triathlon, and encourage other unfit mums to join in. Perfect! I dont' think I could bring myself to do one in the public eye, but one we are doing ourselves, thats doable. So I've been spreading the word to other mums around and quite a few are getting on board. I am not just talking the talk though, I am walking the walk! The past seven out of 8 days I have swum, run, biked (or a combination). I am feeling great and so pumped to have a goal to work towards with other ladies who also find it a similar challenge. The date of the Triathlon is september 5th and I plan to exercise just about everyday between now and then.

I am feeling so energised from the exercise; it has really helped my mental state as well. I usually go out between 4.30 and 5.00, after shane gets home from school. I am usually tired at this time but after I go out I feel great and have energy for the rest of the day. I have found swimming to be especially enjoyable and refreshing! I am hoping to continue the swimming regularly into my next pregnancy.

I hope that my efforts, coming from a very lazy, unfit person who generally dislikes exercise, will inspire you too! We all know it is good for us, but it is so hard to do. Another friends was asking if I had any tips. I am certainly no guru on fitness (yet!) but my biggest tip- prayer! I have prayed ALOT about finding the right strategies and motivation and just the desire to keep going long term. I am a bit up and down but when I am down I just pray again and ask God for strength and ideas and he gives it to me! This triathlon was an answer to prayer for me. I KNOW I don't have what it takes in me, but, as the psalm says , 'with my God I can scale a wall!' So if you need help finding a way that works for you, pray about it and talk with other mums too. Doing things together is so much more fun, we dont' have to battle alone!

ps. How good does that show 'dance your ass off look?' another great exercise idea...

Cooking rut

Yes Oprah, you are right. It is an amazing thing- getting dinner on the table every night. I listened to her speak- in amazement, about how incredible she thinks mums are; being able to whip up dinner every night, 'it's an incredible thing, its a miracle- something new every night! wow!' Yes it is incredible, I agree, but I wouldn't say 'it's something NEW every night'. I don't want to admit how many times I've cooked spaghetti bolognaise in the past fortnight...But the fact that I have now got two CANS of leggos spaghetti sauce (mince-meat included) in the cupboard is testament to the fact that I am in a serious cooking rut!

I do enjoy cooking and it is probably the household task that comes most naturally to me, but every now and then I need some major inspiration to keep me going. To keep the passion alive! It is hard work keeping passionate sometimes. I love how we can inspire each other though. I love how you can be feeling so flat and hopeless about something and then spend time with someone and suddenly have a whole new outlook on things. That is what happened tonight. I went and hung out at my friend Mia's place. We chatted and worked on our own little projects. Mine tonight was getting out of the cooking rut. I took a few cook books and began poring through them. I found lots of recipes I would love to eat, but not many I would love to make...You know, like lamb shanks and slow cooked legs of ham and fish laksas with a million ingredients. PLUS a lot of these gourmet looking recipes were probably not going to get my girls coming back for seconds. With a sigh, and wondering if I was ever going to get past spag bol I opened my recently purchased 'How to Eat' by Nigella Lawson. Yes, it's no secret that I love Nigella, but I had just put down another of her books that hadn't helped me much so I was a bit dubious. The book has ravingly good reviews about it being the cook-book of the decade and great reading as well as great cooking. I began to flip through.

I was finding myself a little turned off by the fact that there are no pictures of recipes, just annoying shots of partially unwrapped butter, solitary leeks, an unpeeled potatoe and perhaps my favourite; a half-opened (apparently empty) tin of sardines. Hello, I KNOW what a jar of uncooked rice looks like, It would be nice to see a picture of the risotto you are talking about here....Gah! Anyway, before I became overwhelmed by the frustration these photographs were stirring up in me, I stumbled upon the chapter 'feeding babies and small children'. And then I rediscovered why I love Nigella. Not only does she have great, no fuss recipes that are delicious, but the way she writes is so hilariously entertaining in its passion and uplifting in its honesty.

for example, here's a quote from page 457;

'You do need to be able to feed babies promptly. If you can prepare baby food in advance, freeze it and then microwave when needed, you reduce the time you are subjected to outraged, hunger-crazed screaming. But the practical advantage is the least of it. If you slave away cooking from scratch, trying to create some perfect morsel for you baby's edification, you will inevitably take it much harder when she spits it out in disgust or wipes it all over the walls. It isn't wise to put so much emotional pressure on either yourself or your children at mealtimes. If you slave and then freeze the product of your stove-bound slavery, the memory of the effort will inevitably recede and you won't take rejection so badly. This goes for feeding older children too.'

I was not only entertained as I read but I was also (as I had hoped) re-inspired to cook for my family. I found a number of recipes in this chapter that were perfect for the girls but would also be a welcome change for Shane and I as well. To name a few; Macaroni and cheese (from scratch), marinated drumsticks, fried rice with omelette, chicken patties, fruit crumble as well as some more good ideas for next week. Ok, so they aren't exotic but a change is a good as a holiday (even if the holiday is going camping in the backyard). More importantly I feel my creative juices flowing again and as I shopped, (I stopped at the supermarket on the way home) before I came up with some more ideas of my own that I want to try out this week. Yay!

So if you are like me this week- a house wife in a cooking rut. Or even if you aren't a housewife, Iwon't be prejudice, I would be happy to share my recipes with you and would also LOVE to hear your favourite thing to cook. What might be a cooking rut to you may be an exotic new venture for me, so do share!

Delayed Gratification

Well, I am writing to you now from the spacious desk in our new house. It has been a very long time since I last posted, this is largely due to my stubborn determination not to write again until we HAD actually moved. It was a very drawn out process with quite a few ups and downs and a few hard lessons along the way, but I will skip all that and just say - Yes! We have a new home! It is quite luxurious to have a spare bedroom, and suddenly more cupboard space than I am quite sure what to do with.

God has truly blessed us, not only with a home that more than provides for all our current needs - but also we are now very much in walking distance to Shane's school. It is literally 100m away and I can see the school parking lot from our balcony. For a one car family this is one awesome perk.

I think waiting for something, and working your way towards it creates an appreciation that you could never have otherwise. We lived in a very small home for 5 years, it certainly met all our needs but we were limited in what we could do and who we could host at our house. We waited. We waited til the timing was right and we felt led (or pushed!) to make a change, and even then there was a lot of waiting. Looking and wondering and asking and waiting. It is a very uncomfortable time for the soul. How we struggle with the unknowns in our life. How we can begin to doubt in God's provision. How marvellous to see him pull through and reveal his character and his goodness once again as we deep down knew he would. I am grateful for the difficulty, the pain of the unknown and all that it shows me in myself. Nothing like uncomfortable circumstances to show us what we are really made of.

In the scheme of things this was a very mild level of discomfort, it would probably be insulting to call it 'pain', but it was certainly a trial of sorts. Especially for me. I think the upheaval of house and home is far more unsettling to the wife than the husband. Especially when there are children involved. Talking to my mum about it, whilst in the midst of the process she had the image of a cat who has its kittens moved and how fretful the cat gets and how it will start picking up its kittens and carting them around trying to find a peaceful new home. We mums do get fretful over things, I hate to admit to being a fretter, to forgetting to trust in my heavenly father for doubting he had everything under control- its obvious that he did. He also allowed me just enough unknown to reveal the areas in me where I still doubt him, areas where I was sure my trust was rock solid- it isn't!

Through all of this though, it helps me be all the more appreciative and grateful for our current circumstances. To have a home again. We are quite settled in now. It is lovely to be able to spread out a bit. I am especially loving the freedom to be able to host people comfortably here, we have had more dinner guests in the past two weeks than we probably had in the last year. It is the beginning of a new season for us- we have been enlarged and are excited and how we can bless others with the blessing given to us.

Sigh. Sometimes I think my life is one great lesson in patience. I really am quite an impatient person it would be up there as one of my greatest weaknesses, I am sure. God seems to have a five pronged strategy in helping make me into a patient creature.

1) marry Shane (to clarify, this is not derogatory to Shane, we just operate differently...i like to rush...he doesn't)

2) have children

3) live in a hot humid climate

4) long waits in between seeing family

5) disciple young people

I see what He is up to.

Well, I seem to be coming to the end of this blog without having really tied in the fact that I wanted to somehow connect my delayed gratification with our house to our recent going-to-bed-without-getting-up success we had with Esther (by using a sticker chart and a tea set reward)....But somehow it didn't seem to happen...hmmm maybe next time. Anyway, the point of what I really wanted to get at was;

Delayed Gratificiation- so good for us all, at any age.

Moving time

Shane and I have almost been married for five years and these walls contain the first chapter of the story of our life together.

We have lived in this two bedroom apartment for almost four and a half years, and it has been lovely. So many times I have sat in the living room of our first home together and just felt fit to burst with pride and joy. To have our own home ( ok, rent our own home!) as small as it is, to look after it and the people who dwell within its walls; What a privilege! Yes I struggle to keep things looking neat and nice and in order, but I still take great pride in my home. I have loved living here. I love its retro tiles and high ceilings, the large bedrooms and the pretty back yard. The unique stone front fence, where I hid easter treats for Esther's first egg hunt. I like our little front steps and the memory of carrying home our two babies from hospital. First smiles, first steps, first sleep-through-the-nights again. Heavenly dry season nights and (losing it) hot, muggy wet season days- we survived without air-con!


We have slowly filled up every square inch of wall space of our once bare apartment with furniture. So many tears and so many moments of hilarity and happiness here. Memories of friends and family coming to stay, tenting in the backyard or camping on the living room floor. New born baths in the kitchen sink and baths in laundry tub, yummy creations in the kitchen, potty training disasters, a thousand time-outs, dinner parties (ok, only one of those) and birthdays, the family of rats living in our stove, the possums in our roof, the frogs in our toilet, the cockroaches in the corner...Good times!

And now it is time for us to move. I will certainly feel sad and sentimental when we walk out this door for the last time to call it our home, the only home our girls have known. The season we have had here has been sweet and I will be sorry to turn the page on this chapter- BUT I look forward with eager anticipation to our new abode- wherever that might be, I am trusting the God who has provided for us so generously to lead us where he wants us. Wherever that is we will flourish! I am so thankful to our heavenly father who looks after all our needs, so we don't have to worry. Wherever we are we are at home when he lives in our hearts. I am ready to move forward with him thanking him for what has been and what will be! To him be the glory!

So no time for this...

Well, I am writing a blog. I am also wondering what makes me think I have time to be doing this when I am preparing for a birthday party in 3 hours and packing for an overseas trip, departing tomorrow! Also beginning to question the logic of having a party today when the sanity meter in my head is already beginning to go akilter as it does in preparation for a major trip... Half the time I feel like there is not that much left to do, the other half of the time I am on near melt down... Weird! But I figure, I will get it all done somehow and I would like to document this moment as it is a significant day.

My baby girl is one! Hard to believe that this time last year I was cradling this gorgeous, fresh faced, darling girl in my arms for the first time. What a sweet addition to our family she is. Looking so like her big sister and yet such a distinct and delightful personality. It has truly been a joy watching her grow this last year. One thing that stands out probably the most about her is her smily-ness. She loves to smile and make people smile at her. She is a real charmer and, I believe, has melted the hearts of many, not least of all her own parents.

Its been really special to watch Esther and Charlotte as sisters, relating to one another. I especially love it when they are laughing at each other. I think that sound (especially as opposed to them both crying) is the most amazing and addictive sound in the world! I love their laughter. It's also beautiful to see how Esther loves her little sister and babys her. 'oh what a little sweetie heart, my darling baby girl' she will coo in a sickly sweet voice. I love it! So hilarious and lovely.

Hard to believe too, that it was only a year ago that I officially became a 'domestic goddess' as Shane wrote that on the birth forms and the government approved my occupation as such forever more. Inscribed permanently on Charlotte's birth certificate! Ha! It was interesting as what started out as a joke has turned into a life calling! Well I am only half serious, the whole domestic goddess is of course very tongue in cheek, but I do desire to be the best mum, and wife and housekeeper and woman of God that I can be. Domestic goddess is just scratching the surface!

I was really freaked out about looking after two children. Didn't know if I could cope. I was really emotional and fragile (and overtired!) for the first few weeks. I am sure many mums can emphathise with me here. It was during this time that I really began asking God to help me, in a desperete sort of way. I just knew I couldn't do it without his strength. I couldn't do justice to the awesome task of parenting without his supernatural help. So I asked, and he has answered me and continues to answer me whenever I ask. I ask for eyes to see beyond today, for hope and encouragement for enthusiasm, for love and patience. I ask that I might enjoy each day and enjoy my children. He is helping me do this, and it was really through becoming a parent of two I began to understand dependence on God. Charlotte's middle name is Faith and I think that is perfect. I pray that she will grow into a young woman who puts her trust in God and I thank him for trusting me to mother this beautiful little girl. Happy Birthday Charlotte!

Christy's top 10

This blog has been a long time coming, thanks for the faithful who are checking to see if I updated yet! I will try and get onto it sooner next time. I have been rolling this little list around in my head for awhile. I feel as though I have added one more string to my bow as a mum, when I discover some product or item that is so amazing that my quality of life goes up another notch (ok, maybe this is a slight exaggeration..!)

I wanted to share with you some of my favourite baby and toddler must-haves in the hope that you might discover for yourself something that will make your life a bit easier too, and also to ask the question...What is your top 10? Or maybe just top two or three? Let's share our knowledge and increase our domestic power!

In no particular order my top ten is....

1. Baby Bjorn. This is a baby carrier where the baby is strapped on the front either facing in or out. There is a picture of shane wearing one in a much earlier post, I think most people know what these are. I don't use mine heaps, but when I do I am always grateful for it. Babies seem to never cry when they are in these things (at least mine anyway). I had great success with this a couple of weeks ago when I went to target with the girls for about an hour. Charlotte didn't make a peep (except happy ones) the whole time she was in there and Esther was brilliant, looking around at all the toys and didn't seem to mind that she couldn't have any!! THAT was a good outing.

2. Paw Paw cream. Where would we be without PawPaw cream? This is hands down the best nappy-rash cure that I have used. It is also great for bug bites and a whole lot of other things. It also smells really good, which is a problem. The number of times Esther has got into this cream and rubbed it everywhere and eaten handfuls of it... Let's just say we have gotten through more than our fair share of tubs in the last three years. Despite the risks, its still worth it. We just have to keep it stashed out of sight!

3. 'Klipo' containers. This is a recent discovery, its simple really but I like it. They are little plastic containers, with one big advantage.. The lids are attached; A bit like soap dishes. They come in clear and see through blue or green and I think there are two sizes. Very handy if you, like me, seem to lose a lot of lids and then have a bunch of basically useless, lidless containers hanging around. I bought them at Woolies in the container isle (or with the lunchboxes and drink bottles?) an inexpensive way to a happier day.

4. Justine Clarke, 'I like to sing' DVD. I reckon this is the best kids music DVD I have seen. Funky, clever, funny, full of colour and lots of dancing children! The songs are great fun to sing and I don't get sick of this nearly as quick as anything else! This is really worth investing in. Trust me. (Esther calls this DVD 'love it' ... that says it all doesn't it?)

5. Rafferty's Garden baby food. Cute, colourful packaging, RESEALABLE packs (yay!) and organic or something thats meant to make it better, PLUS it was the same price as Farex. I am talking the cereal stuff, the pastas and meal thingos are quite pricey, but the multigrain cereals etc. good value I reckon. Big fan of the resealable bag, as you can tell by my use of caps and now mentioning it twice..yup.

6. Peekaboo books. (Charlotte is featured with this book in the above snap) These have been a big hit with both kids and actually Esther still really enjoys them. Repetitive anticipation that the kiddies love. Big flaps that are easy for the kids to open themselves AND they are touch and feel...wooo. I am sure they are very educational as well. They are a real winner as far as baby books go. Love em! (ours are completely trashed, so if anyone wants to give one to Charlotte for her first birthday next week, that would be most welcome :)

7. Kinderkot. If you've seen this in action it speaks for itself. Awesomeness. It's a pop up tent that is a 'portacot' substitute. Let's face it, there is nothing much 'portable' about traditional 'portacots'. Big, heavy, awkward to carry, ESPECIALLY if one is pregnant and going upstairs, not a good combo (don't want to talk about it). This Kinderkot has really met a need in our lives. Lightweight at 3kgs. The carry bag (that could fit underneath a car seat) contains; the pop up tent, a self inflating mattress and a matching sleeping bag. It's genius. We have more than got ouor money's worht out of this baby (about $140). It was Esther's bed for quite a number of weeks when we went through the rocky stage of transferring from cot to bed (the ability to lock her in there with the use of a handy safety pin her in there was a godsend, let me tell you). Please don't call family services on us. Things would have been far worse for her if we didn't have the option and all got sleep deprived instead. She would be asleep in minutes when she knew there was no escape and we would transfer her to bed...Anyway this is all beside the point! It's primary use is for travel or at other people's places. Great little cosy spot that is familiar wherever they are. So easy to carry, set up and pack up. So good!

8. Sunbeam mini food processor. Ok I don't know if this is the right name for it. But it is like a hand blender with different attachments. So you can take off the blender and attach it to a mini food processor, there is also a whisk attachment (which I have never used...). This is such a handy gadget! Obviously great for blending baby food, but also great if you are a bit of a cook and are in need of a food processor but don't have the space in the kitchen or the $ for it. This is fantastic as it doesn't take up much space and is also 600w so it can blend ice!! Love that feature! I use this almost daily for either blending up food for Charlotte or making awesome frozen banana smoothies.

9. First cutlery set. This is a tradition that I am starting with my kids. For first Christmas or birthday to give them a children's cutlery set with their name engraved on it. I think its a great way to show everyone's 'place' in the family, that each is special and thought of. Also a great childhood keepsake for when they grow up and start their own family. (it's also handy to have the children's cutlery in small, metal form. You can't have enough mini eating implements around and the plastic variety just don't cut it in my books...pardon the pun).

10. Charlie and Lola Backpack. Ok, I have been sucked in. It's just so fun to buy this cutesy stuff. Look, I got this on special from; www.mooo.com.au - great website, and Esther loves it! It's just the right size for her little back and back when I bought it Charlie and Lola was about the only DVD we owned and we were watching it heaps. Very cute show. Very cute merchandise. Esther loves carrying around her backpack and taking it to playgroup and friends houses with a drink, snack and a spare pair of undies. I feel I am teaching her to take responsibility. Oh, I have also recently invested in a little Charlie and Lola suitcase on roller wheels. Gosh she loves it! Almost as much as me. It's number 10, thought I would share one of my motherly indulgences with you...We all have one or two right?

So there you go, that's my top ten list of baby and toddler must-haves, hope you enjoyed it, don't forget to tell me your favourites too!

Fresh Obsession!

A week ago now, my life changed...I discovered the joys of groceries delivered. Wow! Don't underestimate the delight such a simple thing could bring you. I was enlightened to this service recently by a friend and I finally got online, shopping list beside the computer. Ticked the boxes of the items I wanted as I sat in the air conditioned comfort of my home and noted the stark contrast and great benefits of this system. No children in tow to keep happy and high on biscuits. No overwhelming array of items all vying for my attention. No temptation to try the latest product and thus blow out the weekly budget (again!) no wondering down one aisle and then the next and then back again in my consistently inefficient shopping style. No waiting in line, no loading onto the conveyer belt, no carrying bags, no drive home, no unloading from the car... Really, there is no question, it just makes good sense! A day and a half after my order was placed, my home delivery arrived at my door! Three boxes of grocery goodness. This particular service specialises in fresh fruit and veg (hence the name 'fresh obsession') which is a bit hard to come by here as we don't have any local ' fruit and veg' stores. I also seem to regularly struggle to decide which veggies I want at the supermarket as few are appealing and all are so expensive. Somehow doing it online simplifies it and encourages me to 'stock up' on all these fresh and competititively priced vegies. Another great thing is that delivery is free if your order exceeds $65, which mine easily did. It is great!

Before you start celebrating with me the fact that I won't ever set foot in a supermarket again, I have to tell you that it won't completely eliminate shopping at the supermarket. The pantry items they have on offer are pretty limited and fresh milk is exorbitantly priced. But, it does mean the trips will be less frequent, shorter and I won't be burdened with as much to carry to and from. I actually kind of enjoy the shopping part of going to the supermarket; it is more the logisitics of loading and unloading, the frustration of constantly forgetting my green bags and how much time it always seemsto take that I am looking forward to saying goodbye to.

I encourage other mums everywhere to investigate similar services, it can make your life so much easier giving you more time in your week, is surprisingly economical (especially when you take out all the usual impulse buys!) as well as giving you that smugly satisfied feeling that you are a mum ahead of the game!

My Girls

We had come to find our pleasures in new ways-in spilled applesauce and tiny nose prints on window-panes and the soft symphony of bare feet padding down the hallway at dawn. Even on the worst days, we usually managed to find something to smile over, knowing by now what every parent sooner or later figures out; that these wondrous days of early parenthood-of diapered bottoms and first teeth and incomprehensible jabber-are but a brilliant, brief flash in the vastness of an otherwise ordinary lifetime. John Grogan 'Marley and me'

I recently watched the movie 'Marley and me' and found it a delightful, heartwarming and refreshingly 'family' movie. I am now reading the book the movie was based on and enjoying it equally as much. The quote above was taken from the chapter I just read. Its a lovely thing to be re-inspired about parenting, because truly it IS a wondrous thing. Last night Shane and I watched a Louie Giglio presentation where he talks about the amazing vastness of the universe but finishes with talking about the miracle of life in the womb and how incredible the journey from conception to birth is. It truly is a miracle. The wonder and awe of new life can quickly be overwhelmed by the increasing demands of parenting. It has its ups and downs, we all know that.

I am a writer. You might have noticed, but I dont' mean it in an artsy self identification kind of way. I just mean I like to write, although it really moves behind liking to a sort of compulsion. I used to write a journal. I mean- I used to WRITE EVERYDAY, for like, 15 years! I stopped journaling daily about 6 months into marriage. It would seem that my whole 'going to bed' routine got severely mucked about and I no longer had the same capacity to leave the light on for hours reading and writing. More than that, I came to a point where I felt guilty, actually guilty, if I hadn't recorded the days events. It was like I had assignments hanging over my head.

I really had a fear of forgetting life. Forgetting the things that matter, I have this desire to know how I spent each day. I hated (and still do somewhat) the idea of having no idea what I did two months ago on Wed 26th, for example. For a long time if I ever wondered; 'hmm what did i DO that day?' - I could just go and look it up. (However I didn't find that necessary very often... )Anyway, back to my point; I was feeling guilty and under compulsion and it didn't feel right. I thought it might be best to lay my pen and journalling down for a season.

So I have, and I have been ok with that, it has been quite liberating. Although, in one way I think 'gosh my life is more interesting than ever, I should be writing about it now'. But honestly I can't do that every day. There are enough things left undone at the end of each day as it is I am not about to add in another voluntary one! So perhaps the season of journaling every event of every day is over now, but I still want to write, to record things that happen that are important.

I don't want to forget the good things God has done for us. I want there to be some record. I cannot think of anything more precious and amazing to write about then my two little miracles. No, they weren't medical miracles- just the usual, run of the mill, pregnancy and birth story you could hear from anyone. But of course, there is nothing run of the mill or ordinary about a life that has God's fingerprints all over it. My girls are extraordinary, mini miracles from God. They are a gift. A gift for me and Shane to love, watch over, cherish, nurture, teach, bathe, dress, feed, discipline. It's an all absorbing life calling that is messy and exhausting and heartbreakingly beautiful. I am so grateful to be a mum.

Haunted from the grave.

Well, I thought live rats running about the house was bad, but let me tell you rooming with dead ones is far worse.

A couple of days after the little rat 'treats' went out things seemed to be going smoothly. On the second or third day after we had put them out I bumped into Mr. Rat in the kitchen, he seemed to be somewhat sluggish and didn't really run away very quickly. I went and got the broom, optimistically thinking I could just sweep him out the door and that would be that. He was still too quick for me and ended up getting into his favourite crack next to the stove. Rats! (he he he) well he obviously won't last much longer now...

The next day, a Sunday, having pretty much forgotten about this encounter, I noticed a slight odour that was not so appealing in the kitchen. It smelled somewhat like food scraps or something that might be rotting and I was in search of it. It was also Sunday morning, we were running late and I was irritable.
"WHAT is that smell?"
I demanded from Shane.
"ARGH!"
I vented my frustration.
"Let's leave and then you won't notice it anymore!"
Shaned snapped, for once he was the one trying to rush me out the door (believe me THAT doesn't happen very often!)

On the drive to church the obvious dawned on me. Having seen with my own eyes one very sluggish rat limp behind the stove the day before
"You know what? That smell is the rat. We will have to get it out after church".

I was right and we did (well when I say 'we' I really mean I got Shane to do it. I think fetching decomposing rats definitely falls in the male 'to do list' don't you?) it was fairly simple. He knew where it was and got on with it. We cleaned up behind the stove and wiped our hands of the whole messy business. Or so we thought.

Ok, I always knew there were possibly more rats out there and so a few days later I began noticing 'the smell' again.
"Grrr"
Ok, we just follow our nose and find the culprit and easy peasy its dealt with. Well, the smell got stronger and we looked for the rat and we looked. We pulled back the stove again and tipped it up and looked underneath. We unscrewed the back of the stove, as that seemed to be where the smell was coming from, pulled out all the insulation on the back of the stove and still nothing! Oh my gosh this smell is driving me insane! It hasn't been so strong that I've contemplated evacuation or anything but its just THERE. Hanging around putting me off doing the dishes, or anything in the kitchen really. In fact it is putting me off housework in general. What is the point of getting the house spick and span if it still smells disgusting? It's hard to convey just how much of an impact this odour has had on my spirits. It has really got me down, really frustrated, annoyed and discouraged. This dead creature is sure rocking my world right now.

I think the smell was the worst on Tuesday and Wednesday...It has faded significantly, but I still get whiffs of it as I am doing the dishes or putting things in cupboards and then the search starts again, the futile search that leads to more frustration!!! It has bothered me so much that I am starting to wonder if it is some satanic plot to throw me off my game just as I am finding myself in a bit of domestic bliss.... Yes, I am happy to say since we have been back in Darwin my housekeeping has reached new heights in consistency and efficiency and I have been feeling pretty pleased with myself. And then this .... this smell is threatening to throw me off my game. Well, whatever and whoever the culprit I will have it known, that this domestic goddess will not be defeated by any rats; dead or alive! SO THERE!

R.I.P rats!

Well I mentioned the mouse population that had had a rave in our spice cupboard while we were in Adelaide correct? Well, it turns out they are actually rats. Mmmhmm. I can no longer turn a blind eye as I have seen mr. happy fat rat twice and there is rat poo in an assortment of unsavoury places.
When we were gone overnight I returned to find rat poo in CHARLOTTE'S COT!! NOooo!! You have overstepped your bounds Mr. Rat. I may have turned a blind eye if you kept your actions more discreet, but this? This is a flagrant violation of human rights! (isn't it?)
We sought advice. and eager to be humane in our extermination we purchased 3 rat traps that are kinda like little tunnel things. They lure in the rat with peanut butter and then it tips over and BANG! the door whams shut and they can feast away and then they are sent away to live in the creek the next day. Happy ending for everyone right? Well turns out there is little need to crawl into creepy tunnels when there are boxes of cereal (ON TOP OF THE TOP CUPBOARD) to get into and enjoy. So that's that. We tried to be kind. To do things win win. No one had to die here. But I cannot, cannot have little rat poos lying around for Charlotte to get into. No doubt she would as she will put anything into her mouth right now and I have fished decent sized bugs out at least twice!I freaked out today coz I thought she was eatingn one (rat poo that is). Turned out it was a runaway sultana from Esther's overcooked fruit loaf. Phew.
So, to cut to the chase, we have bought rat baits. I know they are horrid and they certainly don't sound very humane to me. Yes, I do feel somewhat dreadful about resorting to these means...but desperete times call for desperete measures and believe me I am just about desperete! So don't call the RSPCA on me please. I just want to keep my children safe, honest, I take no pleasure in killing. Hey, I used to have PET rats so believe me this isn't easy for me. But it is time and there will be no more soirees in the spice cupboard at this house. That time has come to an end. I am just hoping that they will choose somewhere easy to retrieve when they take their final rest... I will keep you posted....

Home again, home again jiggidy jig!

I am home! Back in Darwin. I had a really lovely, refreshing, fun and relaxing time in Adelaide with all our friends and family. It was great, everything a holiday should be and another thing that is great about the holidays; coming home again. There is nothing like being away for awhile that makes you appreciate even more the place you call home. Even if that home does smell like mould on your return...The house was tidy just very musty. We spent the next two days going nuts unpacking, cleaning and washing things. Shane really got stuck in! He took everything out all the dishes, cups, pots and pans and washed EVERYTHING before cleaning the cupboards and putting them back. We are hoping that this will unsettle the mouse population that seemed to have had a rave in our spice cupboard while we were gone, well that and the mouse traps should do it.

It actually has been kinda fun, reorganising and cleaning thoroughly. It feels good start fresh on the year with these sorts of things. I LOVE the new year! I always have loved getting the new stationery at the beginning of term 1 at school, writing my name on things, covering books, the empty pages and the expectation of learning new things and making friends...Gosh its fun! I am really looking forward to being able to do all that school stuff with the kids one day. But in the meantime I make the most of enjoying my new diary for the year and pondering all the things I am looking forward to in the coming months as I fill out its pages. I love how there are so many new beginnings in life, there always seems to be a fresh start coming, just when you need it. I think God knows the humans psyche can only bear so much. We need newness like we need breath. His mercy is NEW every morning. God is fresh and ever present each day and the knowledge that he is with me and goes before me as this year is unfolding is really the most exciting thing of all. So, happy new year everyone!! I am planning to continue to blog faithfully this year and I hope you will all join me in my journey and allow me to share in yours. xo.