Congratulations?!

Before I commence this post in earnest, I must comment on my long absence. It has been too long and for those who are faithful to read this blog, thank you for coming back! Its rather ironic (hopefully the right word to use, sometimes I am not quite sure about that one..) that my last post was called 'Enlarge' about the great blessedness of having children, only to discover shortly after posting, that I am 'with child' once again! And I am once more becoming very much 'enlarged' with every passing day ha ha! I am grateful that I had the revelation that I shared about last post as it has really enabled me to be totally excited and embracing of this little 'surprise' package! For those of you who have been pregnant before and experienced the doldrums that are the first trimester, little else needs to be said about my lack of writing inspiration, so I will cease with unnecessary excuses!!

Its a funny thing, announcing your fourth pregnancy. Its really becoming less common to have a family of four. Two is quite normal and three as well, thats all fine, but four? Well, I think it might be getting a little extreme. It's just interesting to observe different people's reactions to my 'state' the fourth time around. I think there is a hesitancy, a question mark, 'was this planned?' (surely not!). Should I say 'Congratulations'? I don't know...IS it GOOD news? Perhaps not...It's definitely more of a mixed bag this time around.

A friend was telling me how her neigbour dropped in and bad mouthed another neighbour who very irresponsibly was burdening the world with yet another child (her fourth), horrific! I mean, selfishly taken up all those resources in just one family? There should be laws against that.  I find this attitude quite stunningly ignorant. The problem with the world is not a lack of resources but the selfishness and corruption that exists preventing a fair sharing of those resources. I for one intend to do all in my power to raise children who will fight against such trends. I do hope that my children will not merely be 'using up precious resources' but using their gifts, talents, personalities, abilities to seek the good of others and to give justice to those who have had it withheld. I think we could do with a whole lot more of those kinds of people in the world. If your vision for your children is limited to seeing only what resources they will USE UP rather than what they will GIVE BACK, then by all means, dont have any! But perhaps there are people in the world who have a little more hope for the generation to come, the generation they are helping to raise. Yes I believe that I do.

You know what? A new life is ALWAYS good news. I myself have fallen into the trap of doubting this at times, or failing to reflect this reality to others. A friend of mine that was pregnant told me her news in a hesitant, cautious sort of way (due to the fact she had had previous losses). I know she was scared to get her hopes up, scared of another loss. Her cautious announcement caused me to feel hesitant, not wanting to be over-exuberant, wanting to protect her, not wanting to get her too excited, in case- as she feared- she would lose another. I did congratulate her but I was low-key. I realised later that I had hurt her by doing so. By failing to do my part, as her friend, to rejoice in this wonderful good news. I had the opportunity to lift her up and to rejoice, to be one of the first to celebrate this new life. I could have helped her to see in the midst of her fears there was something good at work and she was blessed to be a part of it. Instead, in my own fear, I took my cues from her, reflecting her caution. It's a natural thing to do in many ways, and often that is what we want from our friends, but there are times- when we have the opportunity to herald a new life and to help the mother to embrace the joy of it all. When given this chance, take it with your whole heart and let HIS perfect love cast out all fear.

There are so many reasons to fear, and yes we suffer loss. The grief is hard to bear for those who have lost precious ones before ever having a chance to hold them in their arms. But still, life is GOOD and when it is there, even briefly, let us celebrate it, let us say 'congratualtions' without a hint of caution. And even if the mother is overwhelmed, in tears , not sure how she feels about it (nothing unusual there, or shameful by the way!). How beautiful and how powerful is the role of a friend at moments like these? She can offer perspective and truth- that life is a blessing and to be the carrier of life a great honour, even if you don't feel like it is in that moment. To hear the truth spoken in love can be just what another mother needs to be able to embrace a new life herself.

Here's to new life! :)

(ps. the picture is quite an old one, taken when I was pregnant with Charlotte and Esther was not yet two)