Overwhelmed

One of my main hurdles in tackling the daily housework is the mental one. You know when you assess the state of the kitchen /bedroom /bathroom /laundry etc and go; 'Oh man, thats going to take a lot of time and effort and I just don't think I have what it takes-mentally /emotionally /time wise to handle it'. I put it in the too hard basket (which tends to get pretty full, pretty quick) and try and find something less challenging to get me into the swing of things. Does this sound familiar?

It's interesting the things we demand of our children which we struggle with ourselves. After responding in retreat to the housework I can easily find myself turning around and demanding that the girls 'clean up this mess you made!' It's rather hypocritical of me to take this approach of high and mighty house-keeping, demanding my minions get it together and begin to carry their weight. Hmmm. It's so easy to shout commands because it's what they should be doing; 'Just do it! come on! you made this mess you can clean it up'!

I think I need to start this dialogue with myself. Maybe, if I save the lectures for me, actually listen to them and lead by example, perhaps that would be a more effective parenting style as I seek to train them in taking responsibility and work ethic. Oh Lord why does it have to be so hard?! It would be so much easier if I just asked them to do something, they did it, end of story. However I sense God has a bigger picture in mind. While I teach my children how to be grown up, he is teaching me (or trying to) the same. It must all be rather amusing for him some days.

A few days back, as I was re-ordering the chaos of our, once again, out-of-control bedroom, I requested that Esther begin doing the same in her room. I came in to check on her a little while later. No progress. I was feeling somewhat irritated by this fact but decided to change my approach. Instead of ranting and raving, demanding and whining that she begin taking action. I realised she is just like me. She is looking at her chaotic room and feeling overwhelmed. She doesn't need someone to say 'clean it!'. Just like me, she knows what she is meant to be doing but she feels overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start. she needs what I need- help. I knelt down beside her and talked to her honestly.

'I know it's very messy and it feels too hard right?' She nodded, 'Mummy feels like this too sometimes. It looks like too much for one person to do, it's overwhelming right? You know what we need to do? Just start with one thing. Put one thing away and then one other thing away. How about you just put away four things, that's doable right? Just get started. That's what I did. It's called a strategy and we need strategies to tackle big problems. Ok?'

She smiled shyly when she heard me confess how hard I found it and the smile broadened as she caught on to the idea of just starting small. 'I am going to put away ten things!!' she declared triumphantly and began doing just that. When she had done ten, invigorated by success she just kept going until it was all clean! Miraculous!

This interaction and its successful outcome really encouraged me that my weaknesses can be their strength. We all need help and strategies to tackle those areas that we have mental blocks to, whether they seem big or small to others. I know God is there to help me in this way. I need to remember my children are the same. I might think something is a 'small ask' from my perspective but it might appear large and overwhelming to them. I need to share with them how to draw upon the strength of our heavenly father and not rely on our own resources. He is never overwhelmed and always ready to lend his strength to ours, transforming our weakness for his glory.