My Girls

We had come to find our pleasures in new ways-in spilled applesauce and tiny nose prints on window-panes and the soft symphony of bare feet padding down the hallway at dawn. Even on the worst days, we usually managed to find something to smile over, knowing by now what every parent sooner or later figures out; that these wondrous days of early parenthood-of diapered bottoms and first teeth and incomprehensible jabber-are but a brilliant, brief flash in the vastness of an otherwise ordinary lifetime. John Grogan 'Marley and me'

I recently watched the movie 'Marley and me' and found it a delightful, heartwarming and refreshingly 'family' movie. I am now reading the book the movie was based on and enjoying it equally as much. The quote above was taken from the chapter I just read. Its a lovely thing to be re-inspired about parenting, because truly it IS a wondrous thing. Last night Shane and I watched a Louie Giglio presentation where he talks about the amazing vastness of the universe but finishes with talking about the miracle of life in the womb and how incredible the journey from conception to birth is. It truly is a miracle. The wonder and awe of new life can quickly be overwhelmed by the increasing demands of parenting. It has its ups and downs, we all know that.

I am a writer. You might have noticed, but I dont' mean it in an artsy self identification kind of way. I just mean I like to write, although it really moves behind liking to a sort of compulsion. I used to write a journal. I mean- I used to WRITE EVERYDAY, for like, 15 years! I stopped journaling daily about 6 months into marriage. It would seem that my whole 'going to bed' routine got severely mucked about and I no longer had the same capacity to leave the light on for hours reading and writing. More than that, I came to a point where I felt guilty, actually guilty, if I hadn't recorded the days events. It was like I had assignments hanging over my head.

I really had a fear of forgetting life. Forgetting the things that matter, I have this desire to know how I spent each day. I hated (and still do somewhat) the idea of having no idea what I did two months ago on Wed 26th, for example. For a long time if I ever wondered; 'hmm what did i DO that day?' - I could just go and look it up. (However I didn't find that necessary very often... )Anyway, back to my point; I was feeling guilty and under compulsion and it didn't feel right. I thought it might be best to lay my pen and journalling down for a season.

So I have, and I have been ok with that, it has been quite liberating. Although, in one way I think 'gosh my life is more interesting than ever, I should be writing about it now'. But honestly I can't do that every day. There are enough things left undone at the end of each day as it is I am not about to add in another voluntary one! So perhaps the season of journaling every event of every day is over now, but I still want to write, to record things that happen that are important.

I don't want to forget the good things God has done for us. I want there to be some record. I cannot think of anything more precious and amazing to write about then my two little miracles. No, they weren't medical miracles- just the usual, run of the mill, pregnancy and birth story you could hear from anyone. But of course, there is nothing run of the mill or ordinary about a life that has God's fingerprints all over it. My girls are extraordinary, mini miracles from God. They are a gift. A gift for me and Shane to love, watch over, cherish, nurture, teach, bathe, dress, feed, discipline. It's an all absorbing life calling that is messy and exhausting and heartbreakingly beautiful. I am so grateful to be a mum.