All things are possible! Even housework.

Ok, how's my new year's resolution about blogging more frequently looking? Pretty unresolved. Shivers, we are half way through February already and I am lagging here. It feels like there has been a couple of months packed into the last month alone... School holidays finishing up with lots of trips to the beach and times with family. Helping to throw a biggish 70th birthday for my Dad which was truly a beautiful day. The girls started a new school year and it's already week 3 of term 1! Plus throw into the mix the fact that Shane was offered and accepted, an interim youth pastor position for six months, and I am doing my best to partner him in that role as much as possible. Life marches on!

 I am certainly finding (painfully aware after reading my last post!), despite my noble ambitions and hopes for myself and my housekeeping that there are no quick fixes. I wish I could change as quickly as I could write a lovely post about what I hope to become! I guess having a vision is a good place to start...

I have been reflecting recently though how keeping the household in order (or better put, TRYING, to keep it in order!) is something of a thorn in the flesh for me. Ok, not to spiritualise it...wait, too late I am going to do it, because that is what I do! :0

I love reading, writing, talking, contemplating all the possibilities, the future, life, spirituality all that. I could be happy just in a little cloud of reverie about all these things. But, then I have to do the dishes and sweep the floor and change nappies and answer a million 'why' questions, yes Hudson just entered that phase. I think if I didn't have this mundane, everyday life begging for my attention constantly through the day I would be in danger of, yes I will admit it, becoming a spiritual snob. Often I feel like my everyday life is getting in the way of my spiritual development... But what I am realising is that , that kind of thinking is very misled. If we think our 'enlightenment' on the deeper issues of life will happen better in a setting different to the one we are in the middle of, we are very much deceived. I didn't fully grasp one of Joyce Meyer's favourite lines until more recently; 'if you can't get authority over a sink full of dirty dishes, what makes you think you can get authority over any devil in hell?!' Gosh I love her! So profound. So simple, so TRUE! If I am feeling overwhelmed by my housework, by the dishes in the sink, if they are causing me to curl up and cry, well, then that is really the battle I need to be facing head on more than any other isn't it? And from there, we can work our way upwards onto bigger things.

I think this truth is so important. So easily missed. But I don't want to miss the vital truth that God has placed me in these exact circumstances with these exact responsibilities for a SPECIFIC purpose and that to run from these responsibilities to other things which seem more appealing, more fun, more intellectual, more IMPORTANT, means I am going to miss the perfectly set up training ground he has created for me to grow. He knows the best conditions, he knows the best way to get the best out of me. For me, right now, that means being a wife, being a mother, looking after the household, making food, cleaning up, going shopping etc. etc. Mundane, everyday, boring? Maybe not.

I am going to embrace these tasks rather than try to shirk them, to face the challenges head on. To 'attack the hills' as Shane says to me about jogging! Don't shy from them, face them head on! Become excellent at them. Do it unto God! Every little job becomes an act of worship, an act of thanks. Every job becomes something that forms my habits and shapes my character. I know He is using these things to mold me into what he has created me to be. It doesn't look exciting on the outside, but he sees the inside. And hey, its not all housework and nappy changes, I do have the great privilege of having other outlets and avenues to share and serve in outside the home, and for that too I am very grateful.

Where I am right now is the best place for me. I have a long way to go to gain full 'authority' over all the things entrusted to me, but I want to get there, little by little, with the grace of God giving me strength I know I will conquer those dishes once and for all!

'I can do ALL things (even the housework!!) through Christ who gives me strength'

Reflections

Happy new year!

I have a few little resolutions brewing in my mind for 2014. One of them is to write more regularly. I am aiming to become more disciplined and consistent at blogging. So look out! I would also like to shed another 10kg to get me down to pre-baby weight (this weight loss would take me back to where I was at when we were married, that would be novel!) though I still have a considerable amount of weight to lose, I am just going to reflect on the fact that in the past 12 months I have already lost 10kg, So I am pleased about that, halfway home! I like the slow and steady method of losing weight, I don't believe in deprivation ;) .

I also want to build on some of the successes from last year- During lent 2013 I had a Facebook fast which turned out to be a really productive time of spiritual growth for me. I invested myself more in times of bible study and really felt the benefits in my mind and spirit. I would like to continue to invest more time in the word and especially in just having quiet times alone with God, where I sit in his presence, enjoying his love for me and loving him back. Times to recharge are so vital for living well the rest of the time. I have really seen in myself the constant cycle of having good times being close to God and walking 'in step' with his spirit- I feel so good at these times that I start to forget how dependent they are on remaining focused on him. I use that fuel and run myself to empty, and then realise, after falling in a mental or emotional heap that I forgot to KEEP doing what was making me feel so great. It seems a lesson I keep repeating, but I am hoping to learn it to such a deep level that I never forget where my strength comes from. I am happy for the constant reminders of my dependence on him and I never want to have 'success' in life a part from God. So he is answering my prayer in that regard! Even if it makes me feel rather pathetic most of the time, pathetic is my true state when I am not filled with his presence.

A little reflection on my advent time with the kids; It was so fun and really worthwhile, I think we all got to thinking of others more and how we could be a blessing. Esther continues to want to take our 'tracts' and put them up places! She also used some of her OWN precious money and freely put it into one of the charity boxes at the woolies check out. It was a generous offering too! I felt so proud as it was totally unprompted on my part. She looked pleased with herself
. I am happy to see her begin to catch on to how fun it is to be generous.

As I mentioned in my previous post, December is a pretty full on time with a lot going on... Having a different activity each day was a little bit of a burden at times and we did end up with a 'bank up' of acts of kindness to do and ended up doing a lot of them on the one afternoon... Kind of making the daily 'advent' thing a bit defunct. What I am thinking for next year is to maybe come up with a list of activities, perhaps get the kids to help brainstorm too. Then we could have the list hanging up and tick them off as we get opportunities. We could then have a couple of days in the month where we really have a focused time ticking a bunch off at once, rather than dribbling it out throughout the month. I think I will keep the daily advent count down with a small treat for them and a verse from the bible to read out (perhaps in accordance with the jesse tree). We did do jesse tree for the first time this year, which was also difficult to keep on top of!! Shane was great and took over doing this with the kids. He is so much better at getting them to sit down and listen and staying calm as he shares a story with them (perhaps that is why he is a teacher and I am not?!). It was a bit over Hudson's head though... and next year Zipporah will probably want to be involved... so we might have to rethink how to do that also. It's challenging having kids at different ages and stages and figuring out how to do something that is engaging for all of them! Anyway, I will think more about it later in the year. Though I did bite off more than I could chew this Christmas, I am excited to whittle out what didn't work and make it even better next time. All a good learning experience and it was definitely really positive over all.

So bring on 2014 hey?! I am excited about this year and all that it will bring. I have learnt so much about God's love and goodness and enjoyed the fellowship of the Holy Spirit in my daily life more than ever before. I am hoping to continue on in this journey of faith and discover even more! I love that his love goes on and there is always something new to discover. I really want to have super natural help in wisdom and strategies to run my home well, be a good mother, supportive wife and friend. I know I need help daily to have the energy and strength to give to all those who need me. I want to become excellent with the 'mundane' responsibilities I have before me. Making sure I am giving the best of myself to the things that I am most responsible for. I know if I am faithful with the small God will continue to increase my capacity to help others. I want to become all of who he has made me to be. May this year you have your eyes opened to see and your ears to hear all that God is and has for you. God bless and Happy New Year!

psalm 65:11 You crown the year with Your goodness, 
And Your paths drip with abundance. 

RACK part 3 Good news and Happy meals

Christmas eve, eve. Only one more day of advent count down. Yay! Little bit relieved. It has been good, but it hasn't exactly gone to plan... I ended up with a bit of a 'back log' of acts of kindness that didn't get done. We had a little pile of undone goodness to attend to yesterday. Things got a little bit busy, part of the problem with planning activities for the whole month, is you dont really know what is going to be happening on any given day and sometimes we just didn't get to it. The kids didn't seem fussed, (particularly the one about going up to people and singing carols at the shops... WHAT was I thinking with that one??! Esther wouldn't have a bar of it, and I wasn't keen either.) However I did feel it was important to try and do most of things that had come up in the previous days. So I rallied Shane on Saturday, and we all six of us, headed out into the drizzly afternoon. We deposited the 'good news of Christmas' (http://enochwalkedwithgod.wordpress.com/ to read the Christmas message tract I penned) into letter boxes in our neighborhood. We barely got 50m from home when Charlotte decided her shoes were unwearable and we had to have a little battle over wearing them or heading home for new ones, of which neither option seemed acceptable to her. Shane ended up dashing back and returning with some. We had kept going but then turned around when I realised we were missing the 'rack' cards we needed, Zipporah was whining, it was a little rainy, I was getting flustered and not a little affected by the multiple nights with multiple wake ups and not-nearly-enough sleep... But it seemed to obvious an attempt to deter us and try to get us into grumps. So after dashing home on my own to get them, we were on our mission again. We went to the closest bus stop and stuck on to it a 'rack' card with our Christmas 'good news' PLUS a $10 note to sweeten up the whole package! :) (coming by the following day it was a little disheartening to see the money gone and the 'good news' remaining in its place... if only the true value of the message was understood! I hope they felt blessed none the less!) Onward from there to our local shops, Shane had to take Hudson for a trip to the loo... He took the sticky tape and 'good news' and taped it up next to the urinal! I was really hoping he would take a picture of this to show you, but alas, he did not... :)

We had a couple more 'rack' cards with $2 that the kids stuck into a little play car like we did previously. Went into Woolies and bought a coke and chocolate bar which I took to one of my favourite shop keepers! I noticed she was in the store room when I came past, and I was hoping to quickly sneak it in and leave it on the counter next to the cash register , with the 'rack' note attached. But she was turning back as I entered the store so I sheepishly passed over the treats. She was surprised, and seemed very pleased! The ladies in this store are always so friendly and chatty, it was really fun to be able to do this small thing to bless them in return. I headed back to Shane and the kids, who had gone back into Woolies to buy a gift to put under the 'Salvos tree' that was set up in the shop foyer. The kids chose a cool ninja turtles sleeping bag/back pack. Mission complete. We headed back home! Yesterday afternoon I walked down to the pharmacy to get the second round of anti-biotics for the girls (tonsilitis! AGAIN!) While we were waiting for the script, we stuck another 'rack' card with $2 on it to the bus stop out front.

I think the most fun we had with this random kindness thing was yesterday afternoon, after church. We went through the Mcdonalds drive-thru. Fortunately someone came in behind us after we ordered (at first no one seemed to be coming and we were thinking we might have to drive-thru twice!) We ordered happy meals for the kids and then Shane explained to the guy taking orders that we were doing acts of kindness and wanted to pay for the guy behind us.
 "Really?! Are you sure? It could be a lot of money!" Yeah we were sure!
 "AW! That is the sweetest thing. Aw that is so sweet of you!"

He was so sweet, the way he kept saying 'sweet'! Aw! His reaction was really lovely! I was expecting we would pay the bill for the guy behind ($9) and be on our way, before he got a chance to grasp what had just happened. What we were not expecting was for this lovely young man, to get out of his car in the drive-thru and walk over to us, looking all bewildered and happy and thanking us- apologetic for not having something for US!! Heck! Was not expecting that! You really don't have to have anything for us! :) We said Merry Christmas and waved him off and he headed back to the car (you can see him getting in his car in that bottom picture).

It really was fun! Just to do the unexpected, an act of generosity for someone you don't know, and who can't do anything in return, but makes them feel special. We loved it! Shane was all "that's the best $9 I've ever spent!" definitely will do that again! Maybe we will make it a family tradition? ;) Now THAT's what I call a happy meal! ;)

RACK part 2 and the life that goes with it

Well we have had a fun few days since I last posted. I have to say though, I am glad that I have kept most of the activities fairly 'low-key', especially since it is my first time venturing into the world of 'acts of random kindness' and bringing my children along with me. It is a busy time of year...

Today I rushed out after school drop off to get to our church playgroup, (did I mention that last night I got about 4 hours sleep due to a teething child?) the final one for the year, and I had baked some gingerbread Christmas trees to be decorated by the kids. I did that yesterday afternoon with Hudson, while Zipporah napped. The decorating was a hit! I had baked and another girl had brought along the decorations and icing, even just that small sharing of the role, meaning I only had to bring the cookies made the task of baking seem that much lighter. It's funny how much a mental block doing things can be... The straw that breaks the camel's back can be something as little as having to make an extra trip to the shops for gingerbread decorations, as well as doing the baking itself. I am so glad that I can work as part of a team with other ladies at our church- thanks again Misty :)! (I am pretty sure the feeling was mutual as Misty seemed rather overwhelmed at the thought of baking gingerbread cookies for everyone.) Just before I had left for playgroup I received a call from the dental clinic. At the exact moment of receiving the call I remembered the reminder text from a couple of days ago...Ah! The appointment was for 9:50am Thursday. Why on earth had I not realised that at no point were we going to be able to make it?! The lady kindly rescheduled us for later in the afternoon. 2:20pm that should be fine, post-party no worries.

Anyway, after playgroup we drove home (Shane was with me as he had something on this morning and picked me up) I remembered with a start that Charlotte's class party was at 12:30 and I had promised to bring food and come for the party! Shane dropped me at the shops while he got petrol (we were getting dangerously low) I bought some sushi (special request from the party girl) and dashed home and just about beat Shane after getting petrol! It was 12:45, Zipporah goes down for a nap. I sliced up the sushi onto a platter and chucked Hudson in the stroller, got to the party just before 12. The sushi was happily received.

After chilling with the reception kids and mum's I begin to make my way home- though only after a stand-off with a reluctant Hudson. A stand-off that I failed to win, even after seriously calling his bluff and disappearing from his view for a good few minutes!! He remained un flustered  and stalwart in his defiance. I snuck up from the side as he was watching for me from another direction, but I wasn't quick enough and he dashed up the playground with a cheeky grin.  A few pathetic threatenings later and I threw my dignity to the wayside, jumping up and chasing him down, cornering him by the slide and tunnel, I threw him over my shoulder fireman style and home we went, with minimal protests, I think he quite enjoyed the whole process.

There was a little window of calm as Zipporah was still sleeping when I got home (BTW my husband was home working I hadn't abandoned my baby during this time) and Hudson played contentedly on his own (Okay...he was on the ipad.) Arien was finishing up some cool pictures we had employed him to do of the girls, caricatures of them with their teacher's to give as part of their gift. I found the photo paper, resized the photos and printed, trimmed and added to the gift bag. Zipporah awakes and has a little play in the back yard, before it's time to head back to school for school pick up. The girl's proudly took their gifts to the teacher's. We stayed at school for a while longer, enjoying the play equipment and running around (well not me so much, I sat and watched). As we made our way home it hit me; I TOTALLY FORGOT the dentist appointment!!! TWICE IN ONE DAY! Ahhh! SO embarrassing! I rang the dentist apologising profusely and she was very gracious! We have rescheduled for Februrary. :/

I think my point in relating some of the day's events is to say, having extra things to do, especially in December can quickly become a curse rather than a blessing. I think it is really important if we decide to do things 'to make it special for the kids' we have to enjoy it too. If we don't enjoy it, than it's not really going to be a special time. We will resent it, and them most likely. I think WE have to be excited about whatever it is we are doing and see its value and do-ability. And for each family that is going to look different, depending on the children, their age and stage and depending on the Mother. Each of us have a unique personality and passions, which I do believe, make us the perfect Mother for OUR children. Comparison in areas such as these, as in so many others, is not profitable. Condemning ourselves about what we 'should' be doing is so counter-productive. Don't feel bad about what you aren't doing, just simply enjoy what you are doing. And most of all try and enjoy your kids. Their expectations are not as high as ours are! At the end of the day it's the love and enjoyment we experience in our relationships that really matter not how many activities we do.

Though I am doing something 'more' and different to what I have other years, and it has taken a bit of pre-thought, organisation and enthusiasm on my part. I have, I think, remained realistic about what we can achieve and enjoy during this time. Many of our activities have simply been to incorporate things I would do anyway- like the gifts for teachers. But the kids now have a bit more ownership and involvement. There have been a few acts of kindness that didn't really make it to the intended recipient (like the cards the girls made for the librarian and canteen helpers)...oh well!

The girls did do a great job of helping with the gingerbread making. We had enough to make a couple extra bags of cookies and so we took them to the PE teacher and the music teacher (they probably miss out on gifts at the end of the year I thought), it wasn't in our 'plan' it really was a random one! We have also had fun doing a few other little craft things together as part of our advent count down- decorating our mailbox, front door and little tree on the verge out front. Small little things, but they seem to find it quite thrilling! It's easy to get a mental block about having to do anything extra during the Christmas season. Having a fun and special Christmas season doesn't need to involve a lot of extra time and money and complications... Just looking out for little ways to make it brighter and special for one another, and remembering to ENJOY life along the way.

Random acts of Christmas kindness part 1!

December 2nd and we are into our month of advent activities. Instead of treats each day for the kids, they open up a labelled paper bag to discover what random act of kindness (or another others-focused activity) we will be doing.

Yesterday was day 1, since it was Sunday, I asked the girls to write a little note to someone at church. Easy to do and warmly received by recipients. Char is a lot more shy than Esther so she needs encouragement to do things like this, but it was not too confronting passing along a little envelope. Tick!

Today, the plan of action was to pin some $2 coins onto the ride-on cars at the local shops. The girls were pretty excited about this when we opened it up this morning and were eager to get on to it when they got home from school. They quickly changed and were a bundle of excitement to go on this sneaky venture! I was pleasantly surprised that Hudson had himself absorbed in some activity in the cubby house, involving ropes and buckets and didn't want to come along. I didn't push the point as Hudson is probably a tad young to appreciate what we were about to do, and I could foresee the potential for tantrums at not getting to ride the cars at the shops himself! So, he got to stay put with Uncle Arien and Opa and we headed on our merry way. (I narrowly avoided a mni break down myself as I couldn't find the santa sticky tape which, in my mind seemed absolutely essential for this activity....breathe... we found it!)

It was really fun coming to the shops with the sole purpose of doing sneaky kind things for other people and I really was amazed at how thrilled they were to do it AND they didn't ask for anything!(OK, almost! we did pass Wendy's on the way out and Esther cast a longing glance and a meek request my way, but coped with the negative response well).

Our first target was occupied, so we went to the next known kid-vehicle. The girls hopped in, bag in hand, whipped out the card and sticky tape and quickly fixed it, upside down, between the steering wheels (there is always two right?). Then, they quickly bounded out and we scurried away back to the first car which was now empty, same again, into the ambulance they hopped, out comes the sticky tape and card and job done!

We had two more cards with $2 coins and the challenge was what to do wtih them as there are no more ride ons at our shops... We popped into Foodland as I thought maybe we could stick it in the chocolate aisle...? A definite 'no' from Esther on that one... We rode up the escalator to the cinemas to see if the gamer machines were still there...Nope...Hmmmm...Esther had a brainwave. Back we walked to the toy store, and there was the perfect thing- a $2 toy dispenser machine thing, which I had never really observed. Brilliant!

The last one we stuck onto the inside of the 'whale' that is a popular play spot. Some lucky child will discover it and can spend as desired!

It was a great success for our first public outing of random acts! It really was fun to see the kids get into it and feel the joy of doing unexpected kindnesses to others... We did do a few laps around the shops to see what had been taken, the first car was empty upon our return!... It is slightly unsatisfying not to see the finder's reaction... But, the girls just had so much fun being the instigators and I think imagining how someone might respond and having the mystery of remaining anonymous is quite a thrill! And I love that their mind is getting off of themselves and onto others!

Christmas is coming

So, a couple more sleeps and December will be upon us! This year I was feeling a little bit tired at the thought of Christmas preparations... I have a strong desire to make Christmas fun and special for the kids, and also to teach them about the true meaning of Christmas. It's so easy to get bogged down in societal/cultural pressures of how to approach Christmas- which seems to result in feelings of exhaustion and a bleeding bank account.

I don't know what your kids are like, but I have observed many times when my attempts to give them 'treats' does not result in the anticipated shower of thanks and delight. Instead, there comes a barrage of complaints. Comparisons, cries of; 'it's not fair! She has MORE than me!' or 'Why didn't I get THAT one?!' and then I feel the need the lecture about gratefulness and make statements like 'SEE! STUFF doesn't make you happy!! You are actually more unhappy now then before I gave you the treat!' to which they miserably respond 'NO! I AM more happy now!' in a tone that makes their words extremely hard to believe.

So back to Christmas...I am faced with the challenge of making it special and fun for the kids, whilst understanding that an overload of treats and special things for them will not make life more full for them (despite what the advertising would have you believe), but in fact, with their level of maturity right now will actually make them MORE unhappy (and more unhappy for mum too) So I have decided to set aside last year's advent calendar which was a daily activity/treat for the kids to enjoy. Instead, I am getting a little creative and thinking beyond the walls of our home in a bid to get back to the true meaning of Christmas- which I think will ultimately be a lot more fun for the kids and I will feel the pleasure of knowing they are also learning eternal lessons.

We are going to do a daily advent calendar again, but this time I am planning a 'RACK' random act of kindness (not so random really, as they are going to be pre-planned...) I have a brainstorm list of ideas, I got some great ideas from my FB community too which was fun. So each day the kids will get to open the paper bag and find inside the plan for the day. To keep it doable I am going to involve some acts of kindnesses to one another as well as our wider community. I will also throw in a few little craft  and family
activities as well for variety. I really want to keep it 'others' centred as much as possible and about working and playing together. Avoiding the 'ME' getting stuff thing. I am anticipating a fun time of meeting people in our community and being an unexpected blessing. I also hope to inspire in my children a life long passion for giving. It really is more blessed to give then to receive and I believe helping them to understand this is giving them something of supreme value.

I am super-keen to throw off the restraints of the commercial-ness of Christmas. To embrace joy, gratitude and simple friendliness. To remember the story of Christmas; how God was so generous to send us his son as our salvation. This Christmas we will be making a deliberate effort to remember this, and to respond in a similar, generous fashion- inspired by Him!  It's a privilege to share His love with others. I am excited what this year will bring! Also, I will make a big effort to blog about our experiences and share them with you!

'Tis the Season!

You CAN do it!

Why hello. I have been simmering on this thought for a little while... Prompted to ponder again as I recently read a blog entitled 'to mothers of one or two children'. I was intrigued. I read on, even though  I now have four... The author of this blog post was actually the mother of five children and she was basically writing encouragement/advice to mother's of one or two children who currently feel overwhelmed by their load and cannot fathom how these (supposed) super mums- with more than that, manage to stay sane and keep everyone bathed and in the right size/ appropriate gender clothing (most days). I thought it was a great idea to de-mystify the 'how do you manage??' question that mothers of  numerous children always illicit. What it came down to in her response was, over time your capacity increases, but at the beginning it's just as difficult (if not more so) than down the track with more. I totally concur! So mother's of one or two who are feeling completely overwhelmed... Just know; that is totally normal! YOU are totally normal. Those 'other' women who seem to be coping so well aren't really that different from you, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!

I look back on my time with a wildly-energetic toddler girl and then a new baby girl as the most difficult days in my parenting so far. I think its worth remembering, especially if you have the first couple quite close together in age, that you are still quite a new mum. Even though it feels like you have now been a parent FOREVER, it's really not been that long. Your body, your frame of reference, everything is still adjusting to this new way of life. Just give yourself a break and remember, you are still new to the job, learning new habits and disciplines that will make your life easier. Learning how to manage behaviour (including your own). So just have a little patience with yourself knowing its still early days and in a lot of ways being a mum is a learned process.

I remember after Esther was born thinking about how many nappy changes and feeds ahead of me there were...The hours, days and weeks ahead seemed to be a very daunting prospect with all these new and unfamiliar tasks that need to be completed, over and over again. Not to mention all the other things that still need doing. I really wasn't very good at it. Not very good at keeping on top of anything. I tend to deal with the urgent needs of the moment, but not a great plan-ahead, get-ahead type of girl... Lumping a whole lot of new 'jobs' on my hands when I hadn't been any good at doing the ones I already had, seems a little hopeful on someone's part. Probably just as well that I was blissfully ignorant of all the true challenges ahead. I did adore my baby and new I was BORN to be a mother. Becoming a disciplined, non-lazy, organised adult? Well, that would take some deliberate effort!! ( and I am far from 'there' yet!)

You break a lot of ground with baby number one. We were certainly enthusiastic in reading and learning about parenting and implementing what we learned. A lot of that work pays off with the others, in that they do watch and learn from the older. There are certain boundaries that they seem to pick up from seeing what the older one is and isn't doing. Of course each child brings their own set of unique discipline challenges, but I do think it was easier with our subsequent children- if only because we were more practised! And I guess practice does make perfect. It amuses me to think how I stared in awe and (just a little bit of) horror in the face of ALL those nappy changes and feeds ahead of me. Ha!  If I only I knew then how many nappy changes were actually ahead of me in the coming years!!! I really don't give it a second thought now. It's just a part of normal life.

Maybe it would help if we viewed motherhood like other occupations or trades. Think of your first few years as an apprenticeship. Still learning all the skills required, still adapting to your new role. Of course we never stop needing support and wisdom in our parenting journeys, but the first few years are especially intense. So if you are in this place right now as a mother, take a moment to be proud of yourself for what you have achieved and what you are achieving. In lots of ways you are in the hardest part, I hope that makes you feel a little more hopeful about the future!

I look at my life now and reflect on those earlier days and realise my capacity really has increased. I feel I have undergone some intense training, and little by little I am learning and I am growing and I am getting better. Okay, I still have a mental block about laundry, but I am sure one day I will do that without thinking too!

 I was chatting to a friend today who recently had her third beautiful baby. She made the comment how much easier she found mothering when she 'surrendered to it'. I thought that was a perfect way to put it. I think its pretty normal to be having a bit of an inner battle in the first year or two about letting go of the 'old me'. When we realise there is no going back and just embrace the new life we are living, that is when we are able to find the 'new me'. You might be surprised when you discover you like her better anyway.

It is very important that at this point I make one thing very clear. The only reason I can truthfully say that I enjoy being a mother and that I have become (somewhat!) better at managing a household, while staying sane and maintaining a relationship with my husband, is all due to the vital relationship I have with Jesus Christ. I do say vital and that is no exaggeration. I would simply not be coping without the strength, joy, hope and purpose I find in Him daily. I have asked for wisdom and help OFTEN. I have cried pitifully on his shoulder and he has heard and helped me. I find JOY in the knowledge of his love for me and his purpose for my life and for the lives of my children. I cannot imagine, nor do I want to, life without his presence. If there is any secret to life, let alone motherhood surely HE is it.

I think God was smart with me. He knew the best way to get me to grow up and become mature and responsible and a lot less lazy was blessing me with four beautiful children. It's funny to think that giving me MORE when I was doing terrible with the little I had was the best way to get me to improve. I am thankful for his generosity. For entrusting me with these lives, for being patient with me and believing I could do it. With Him by my side, I know that I can, and if I can do it, YOU can too!