Overwhelmed

One of my main hurdles in tackling the daily housework is the mental one. You know when you assess the state of the kitchen /bedroom /bathroom /laundry etc and go; 'Oh man, thats going to take a lot of time and effort and I just don't think I have what it takes-mentally /emotionally /time wise to handle it'. I put it in the too hard basket (which tends to get pretty full, pretty quick) and try and find something less challenging to get me into the swing of things. Does this sound familiar?

It's interesting the things we demand of our children which we struggle with ourselves. After responding in retreat to the housework I can easily find myself turning around and demanding that the girls 'clean up this mess you made!' It's rather hypocritical of me to take this approach of high and mighty house-keeping, demanding my minions get it together and begin to carry their weight. Hmmm. It's so easy to shout commands because it's what they should be doing; 'Just do it! come on! you made this mess you can clean it up'!

I think I need to start this dialogue with myself. Maybe, if I save the lectures for me, actually listen to them and lead by example, perhaps that would be a more effective parenting style as I seek to train them in taking responsibility and work ethic. Oh Lord why does it have to be so hard?! It would be so much easier if I just asked them to do something, they did it, end of story. However I sense God has a bigger picture in mind. While I teach my children how to be grown up, he is teaching me (or trying to) the same. It must all be rather amusing for him some days.

A few days back, as I was re-ordering the chaos of our, once again, out-of-control bedroom, I requested that Esther begin doing the same in her room. I came in to check on her a little while later. No progress. I was feeling somewhat irritated by this fact but decided to change my approach. Instead of ranting and raving, demanding and whining that she begin taking action. I realised she is just like me. She is looking at her chaotic room and feeling overwhelmed. She doesn't need someone to say 'clean it!'. Just like me, she knows what she is meant to be doing but she feels overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start. she needs what I need- help. I knelt down beside her and talked to her honestly.

'I know it's very messy and it feels too hard right?' She nodded, 'Mummy feels like this too sometimes. It looks like too much for one person to do, it's overwhelming right? You know what we need to do? Just start with one thing. Put one thing away and then one other thing away. How about you just put away four things, that's doable right? Just get started. That's what I did. It's called a strategy and we need strategies to tackle big problems. Ok?'

She smiled shyly when she heard me confess how hard I found it and the smile broadened as she caught on to the idea of just starting small. 'I am going to put away ten things!!' she declared triumphantly and began doing just that. When she had done ten, invigorated by success she just kept going until it was all clean! Miraculous!

This interaction and its successful outcome really encouraged me that my weaknesses can be their strength. We all need help and strategies to tackle those areas that we have mental blocks to, whether they seem big or small to others. I know God is there to help me in this way. I need to remember my children are the same. I might think something is a 'small ask' from my perspective but it might appear large and overwhelming to them. I need to share with them how to draw upon the strength of our heavenly father and not rely on our own resources. He is never overwhelmed and always ready to lend his strength to ours, transforming our weakness for his glory.

You're All My Favourites!

It's just not right.

God surely doesn't love THEM as much as he loves ME!?!

As a child I really struggled with this concept... (Let's be honest, I still do!) At times it would flip the other way depending on which 'them' is in my thoughts at the time. Does God really love me as much as he (clearly) loves them?

It does baffle the mind to try and comprehend the love of our heavenly Father. But as he reminds us in scripture 'My ways are higher than your ways'. Talk about a major understatement! It's rather laughable that he even needs to remind us of this, but of course, he most definitely does. I am God, you are not, of course I am going to think differently, bigger and better than you do! But he is so patient with us, he must be amused at times, at our arrogance, our grappling to understand and compare his love to ours.

We are so insecure. We fret and fear of being forgotten and unloved, when a close friend shows devotion to another we get jealous, we wonder if we will be needed, will we be demoted to 'second best friend' ?!? (horrors!) We are guarded with our love. There seems to be a limited amount and it must be meted out carefully, only to the best and most worthy. We shrink back in an emotional retreat, hugging our wounded hearts to ourselves once more, determined to be more careful next time. We have close friends, friends, acquaintences, enemies... We only have so much time in one day, time must be used and given wisely...to the worthy.

It's hard to comprehend a love that is exceedingly generous, self-less even unto death, unafraid! Perfect love casts out fear. Wow. What a promise, what a picture of true love; Fearlessness. No more fear of rejection, fear of hurt, fear of loss. Only Love. Death swallowed up in victory. It is a glorious thought. It is a glorious reality. And yet, we live in a limbo between the now and the what is to be, hungering for a greater revelation of what it truly means to be the 'sons of God'. Carriers of his love, fearless.

Ephesians 3 intrigues me. As Paul prays for those believers in Ephesus, he clearly had a glimpse of something wonderful. He prayed for the impossible. That they (and we) might have the strength to comprehend, the love of Christ, how high, how wide, how deep and how long it is. To KNOW this love, though it surpasses knowledge! It must be possible then, to know this impossible love, but I have a sense it is not something we can know in our heads, but in our hearts. And filled with his love what wonders we could do for him...

But it seems God had favourites, didn't he? Daniel was called a 'friend' of God and John, his disciple 'his beloved'. What's that about? Is this allowed? Doesn't he love us all the same and not play favourites?

I think being a parent has brought me a lot of insight into this dynamic. I worried with being pregnant with my second child, was it really possible to love this next one as much as I did my precious Esther? It seemed too hard to comprehend. When she was born, I did FEEL differently about her than I did to Esther, but it certainly wasn't less love. It was just...Different. A few weeks after her birth as Charlotte was settling to sleep in the next room and Shane and I were alone in the living room I remember saying to him 'I'm so glad we have Charlotte' and Shane wholeheartedly agreed. Our totally unique, completely irreplaceable, adorable and hilarious Charlotte. I now have three children, each is unique, and with each I have a unique connection with. You can't compare them, you can't replace them, what they bring to the world and what they bring out in me as their mother, is utterly unique and precious.

I know this to be true of friendships also. Although you can move states, or countries and discover new friends and community, they are utterly unique. What one friend brings out in you, the connection you have, the way your two completely original personalities react to one another can never be duplicated in another friendship. So we never need to fear being replaced, we never have to compete or try to be different than what we are. What we each bring to this world is so precious and so rare, we are each valuable because there is only ONE of each of us!

I do believe this is how God feels about us, he made us all and his desire is to have a relationship with each of those that he has 'created in his own image'. God desires to know me and love me and have an intimate friendship with me because I am the only ME that he has made! I bring out something in him that no other human he has made can. I don't have to worry about whether he loves me more or less than anyone else because in a way, I am the only one there is...of me!

Since God is so big and his love so expansive he is capable of this on a grand scale! However I struggle to love well and fearlessly in my human setting of marriage, friendships and relationships; they are all beset with fear and insecurity, doubt and confusion! It is encouraging when I look up to him and see his fearless, expansive, generous heart lavishing on me more love than I can comprehend with my finite mind! It is this love that empowers me to love others. We love because he has first loved us.

The truth is, like the cute picture book I read to my girls You're All My Favourites by Sam McBratney. We are all his favourites too. We think having favourites means exclusion but God is all about glorious INCLUSION to whoever will open their heart back up to the one who has loved them so deeply. While he may call some like, Daniel and John his 'beloved friends' it is not because he has rejected the others, but that the others have rejected him. His door is always open to us, he beckons us to 'draw near to me and I will draw near to you' (James 4:8), his hand is outstretched, will you offer him yours?

Jesus may still be your enemy, perhaps an acquaintance or even a friend, but he longs to be your favourite- as you are his.

Live within your limits

Psalm 16: 5-11

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;

you make my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in

pleasant places;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord.

with him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,

nor will you let your faithful one see decay.

You make known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

What a beautiful Psalm full of glorious promises! I love verse six especially; "the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places''. How often do we express thankfulness for the boundaries in our lives, the limitations? I would think, not often! It almost seems a strange thing to be thankful for. More often we yearn for release from the limitations we experience and desire to see what life is like 'on the other side' the classic, grass is greener mentality.

The thing is; whatever we are doing, whatever season of life we are in currently, it means we are unable to do or be something else because of it. For example; if we are single, we can't experience what it is like to be married at the same time (actually lots of people do, and things become very messy, but that is another post!), If we are working full time, we can't study full time, if we are living in Europe we can't live in Australia. It seems obvious doesn't it? Certain choices we make, or situations we live in, are going to make other choices and situations impossible or prohibited. In my observation we, as people, seem to chafe at these kinds of restrictions, as common sense as they are. Always wanting what we can't have, always desiring the forbidden.

It's not necessarily that we desire things that are bad in themselves, just bad timing. I find this idea is very pertinent to motherhood. Choosing to be a wife and mother as I have, choosing to stay at home to raise three small children means that there are a great number of things I cannot do because of it. I cannot sleep whenever I want to or read a book whenever I want to. There are masses of chores constantly needing to be done; basically sapping up any spare time and energy that there might be to do anything else. By the time bed time rolls around, I don't really want to do much other than loll about on the couch.

Sigh. Woe is me. If only I had more free time, oh what wonderful things I would do. I could write in peace, bake uninterrupted, do some cleaning and organising at my own pace without someone undoing everything I did. I could pop out at any time to go to the shops or go out for coffee. I could study, or get a job where my skills would be valued and honed. I could take a little nap and not wake up to someone crying or wanting something from me. The list of what I COULD do without children could really go on and on.

The thing is. If I had more free time (i.e. no kids) what is it that I would REALLY be doing that is so great? When I stop and think about it, in those moments when I imagine that I would be so productive without the kiddies, I know that I am fooling myself. If I didnt have kids I would be much less productive than I am now. I would waste time and procrastinate, become more lazy and probably depressed.

You know what? Being a Mum is the BEST thing for me. It is what the Lord has ordained for my life and he is working through me not only to love these precious children, but to conform me into his image more and more. For me, there is no better way he could do this than by being a wife and mum. I have been blessed with this season, these limitations, these boundaries. And I AM grateful for them. I am so glad I don't have all that free time to 'do whatever I want' because frankly, that doesn't really exist anyway! The enemy would like us to believe that there is some perfect state of being beyond what we are called to do in this moment. As long as we are striving and longing for that elusive 'something else', we will continue to lose the moment we are in.

I love having kids, even if I am woken up six times a night. They are alive. I can care for them. It is a beautiful thing. I know God will continue to empower me to do this task and I believe he will continue to enlarge my capacity to do more, even in this season with children. But I want to do things as he calls me to them, not in my own strength or timing.

I am thankful for this life. My calling to live as his daughter, to love those entrusted to my care wholeheartedly and with JOY! Imagine that?! Being joyful! Hey Mums, next time you are at playgroup or chatting with another mum somewhere, why not talk about the things you LOVE most about being a mum rather than the most frustrating event that has happened in the past 24 hours?! We are all guilty of this, for some reason we think that is what people want to hear about. Seriously, we don't! Of course we all need to have space to share the tough things, but how about sharing the joy and fun that also comes in every 24 hour period of being a mum?

Why focus on the negatives when there is so much to be thankful for? Your limitations and your boundaries aren't there to burden you, they are there to help you live life to the full! Be thankful today for what you cannot do because it means you can wholeheartedly enjoy that which you CAN!

Wake up!

"But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing!"

I struggle to wake up in the morning. It seems that gravity is twice as strong for me as I try, half-heartedly, to pull myself out of a deep slumber. In those moments I feel there is nothing in life I want more than some more sleep. To curl back up under those oh-so-cosy blankets, snuggle in and just sleep! I suppose having children and often multiple wake ups during the night would increase my desire and at times, legitimate need for more sleep. But to be honest I have always been like this. My body craves sleep. I think I could easily sleep til midday every day of the week, regardless of how late or early I went to bed the night before. Of course this is out of the question, mostly because it is not practically possible, but also, in my fully awake moments I truly dont want to sleep that much!

I desire to be an 'early morning person', up at the crack of dawn with enthusiasm and joy. Ready to greet a new day, spend time in the word, a piping hot drink and a quiet breakfast before the house awakens. It sounds like utter bliss! At least it does the night before...Sleep dissolves all my resolve as the following day my determination has been swallowed up by the overwhelming desire to sleep, in those moments it is all I care about. ARgh! the battle goes on.

Parallel to this physical battle I seem to daily face with sleep, is the spiritual one. I long to be more consistent. To daily take up my cross and follow him. To be fully awake to the things of God. To have my eyes on him, prayerful, looking for opportunities to love and bless others. Aware of the spiritual battles so that I pray rather than try to work out solutions with my own logic and limited understanding. Most of the time I think I am in a sleepy state spiritually, and a little agitated when someone or something begins to prod me out of my complacency to look up and see the urgency surrounding me. "The signs of the times" are screaming at us that this is not an hour to be slumbering, self-absorbed and comfortable. What will it take for us to become fully awake and responsive to God.

I think of the poor folk in NZ. Wow. Going about daily tasks, unaware that suddenly the world would come crashing down-literally. Likewise, spiritually we can wander around like sleeping zombies totally unaware of what is about to 'go down' around us and that God has a role for us to play in his purposes. He wants ambassadors, children who are tuned in to his Spirit, ready to act on his behalf. Daily submitting their lives to him, repenting for selfishness and asking him to again crucify our flesh so that we might become more obedient to him, to be USEFUL to him.

We are so stubborn and thick headed! We just want to do what we want, when we want to! Like me each morning; my flesh screams at me to let me let it sleep. It also wants me to switch off and tune out, become absorbed in the little things in life, my desires and wants... Keep the noise going so that I fail to hear the still small voice calling me, drawing me to something higher and better.

The good news is; we have the spirit of him who raised Christ Jesus inside of us! (Rom 8) We are not alone in this battle, we cant win it without him, but with him victory is certain! I praise God because he is winning the battle over my flesh. Slowly but surely I look to him more, turn to him, tune him in, allow him to love me and reveal himself to me...and...wow...life is incredible. I can't put into words the joy and excitment growing in me as I let him in more and more. Becoming what he called me to be, seeing things I havent seen before...dreaming dreams... Knowing the father's love. He has an abundant life for us. And its not just talk.

I want to challenge other christians out there, who like me, maybe you grew up in the church and feel like you have 'heard it all', there is little that is new and exciting in your faith. The tangible presence of his Spirit is not something you have felt or at least not lately. Oh there is so much more to come! Draw near to God and HE WILL draw near to you (James 4). We DO have to take a step towards him, to call out to him, ask for help, ask for revelation. But seek and you will find, ask and it WILL be given, knock and the door will be opened! These are promises we can depend on, but to receive them we need to take a step out and simply...Ask.

Whatever our current role and obligations in life; for me, its being a wife and mum, God can and will work through that to fulfill his purposes in us and bring us closer to him, bring blessing to others. Don't limit God to how you think he works and what that looks like. Simply come to him with your empty cup and ask him to fill it...watch and be amazed.

It's time to wake-up, the time for sleeping has past. We need to be fully awake, fully alive to God and be ready so that we are not taken by suprise when he returns for us, his bride.

WAKE UP!

"Just Do It"!

I am happy to report that I am now in my 7th week of the 12 week plan, and am now at 84kg! Wooo! It's so nice to be fitting comfortably in my jeans, not that its that pleasant wearing jeans in this humidity...But the air-con is on and I feel good!

- - -

I want to touch on something I mentioned in my previous blog; the phrase Nike made their own-JUST DO IT! In the past I have been a major procrastinator. I've had serious mental blocks when it comes to doing the dishes, the laundry, making the bed, vacuuming...the list does go on! As I have set my mind to the task and become determined to improve in all the areas allotted to my care, I have begun to see changes in myself. I see my role as wife and mum (and all the menial tasks that are included in this) as my calling. Why should I not seek to excel and improve in the responsibilities I daily face? Why should my approach be any different to someone in the work force? Seeking to learn, grow, develop, increase their skills base, be promoted (ok, I am not sure what promotion might look like in my case, but I think you get the picture!) No matter what the varying attitudes to raising children might be in our culture, it remains a vital task and should be taken as a huge privilege and approached with an eagerness to excel. Look what is at stake? What an awesome task God entrusts us with! I want to be a good steward of the children given to my care.

There are so many things I want to become good at, and then become excellent at! Little by little, and with a lot of help from my heavenly Father, I am changing, I am growing, I am improving!! My attitude has moved from 'i'll do it later' to 'DO IT NOW'! JUST DO IT CHRISTY!

And now, more and more, I do just do it! The dishes, the laundry, the mopping, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning. If I see it, and it needs to be done... I just do it! Its so liberating and empowering to stop making excuses and to just follow through immediately. So much can be done in a short space of time when we are productive.

It's so pleasant to live in an ordered, tidy and clean environment. I actually find it fun now. I think it is amazing what can happen when we truly embrace the season we are in, and just find joy in all the tasks that need to be done. Menial jobs are a part of life, so just do them! Take pride in your work, even if the results only last five minutes! Oh well, we will do it all again tomorrow anyway. That's life. Yes, the bed will be messed up again tonight (or earlier if the kids, like mine, love to pull the doona off the bed!) just make it! Then, every time you need to go in there, you will see the lovely, well made bed welcoming you to collapse into it (only a few more hours to go...)! An organised home brings mum a sense of satisfaction that is well worth it. Not to mention all the other benefits. I know how hard it is. So many little people working against you in this task, but we just keep at it. Everything we give, all the hours, all the frustrations- he sees. Work for Him and it wont seem so pointless, so menial, so repetitive. There can be joy in our every day work. If we cant find purpose and meaning in the small things of life, we will never find it in the grand.

If motherhood and life at home is your season, embrace it! when we are doing what God has called us to; he empowers us to live it and live it well- if we only ask for his help. That said, if you are trying to cram too much into this season and spreading yourself too thin, you aren't likely to find the peace, rest and joy that is available. There is grace only for that which he has called us into. Our culture often demands that women do so much more when they are mothers of small children. I question that pressure. I think it robs mothers and their children of a sacred season that should be embraced and enjoyed to the full.

Let's do this!

Total well-being

So I did what every normal pregnant girl out there does...Throw out all sense of boundaries when it comes to eating. If you are going to be fat anyway, you might as well enjoy the ride, right? I am not one to argue with such watertight logic, but there are consequences that come with such an attitude and I have seen the outworking of how one reaps what they sow...

Having trained and competed in a mini-triathalon with friends (...and, ahem, winning...) I was in peak physical fitness. A great time to embark on the incubation process again; we promptly fell pregnant the following week. My peak physical condition went on a dramatic decline. I maintained walking regularly as much as I could but combination of build-up weather and feeling mildly depressed in the first trimester meant that continuing exercise was a monumental effort. So, I put on about four kilos in the first trimester....and then, I stopped weighing myself til the day after Hudson was born. I only did it that day because the Nazi midwife made me! Gosh who makes someone step on the scales the day after they give birth?! I didn't really want to know...But I will now share with the world the horrifying number that glared at me from the scales that morning. 105kg.....Oh....My.....Gosh.....This is the heaviest I have ever weighed, on record. And might I add that this is the DAY AFTER giving birth, and losing 1600mls of blood. Whoa.

At this point I would like to put in here as disclaimer that I don't hate myself. I am quite fond of myself, at any weight. I do think having babies is worth all the fluctuating weight, and I am not into giving people (including myself) a hard time about doing so. Weight fluctuation is part of the journey, but it IS a little freaky to go beyond where you have been before in this department...

Anyway. I had a caesarean so I had a few weeks of healing ahead of me. Within a week my body had dropped down to 98k without me having done anything. It really is incredible what the body goes through in pregnancy and how much fluid etc you retain. 7kg in a week is pretty incredible. But hey, I was still 98k and a LONG way from a healthy weight. I reckon my ideal weight is somewhere between 75-78k ( being 170cm). I think that is quite a reasonable and attainable goal weight. Which meant there was 20k to go....

When Hudson was about 6 weeks old, I was feeling pretty well fully recovered from the surgery and eager to get out and exercise! I began walking around the neighborhood, and after a week or two managed a 3km stretch (carrying H in the bjorn as well!). After we moved house and settled in, Hudson was about 2 months old. I decided I was ready to implement the healthy eating component required to achieve the results I was seeking.

This is a big challenge for me. I love food. Especially bread, pasta, dairy, cream, ice cream, pizza, cookies, cake and the list could go on and on... I find it really difficult to eat small portions and to say no to sweets and to eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Sigh. BUT I am determined to change! I know that if i want to see significant changes in my weight I really need to make some major adjustments in my eating. Which means I need to completely rethink how I think about food and find new things that are appealing which are a lot healthier.

I really believe that in the process of losing weight you cannot be motivated by hate. If you are motivated by hating how you currently look I think the results achieved will be short lived. You really need to be motivated by caring about yourself and your body, wanting it to be the best it can be because you actually LIKE it. (I think supernatural help is needed to achieve this by the way)Also I believe it is critical that you are focused on all the wonderful things you can and should eat rather than focusing on the things that are prohibited. There really is an extraordinary variety of delicious, satisfying and incredibly yummy things you can eat that are amazingly good for you as well. The key is to find, learn and become familiar with a bunch of new recipes that fit this category. This is a fairly big ask when you have a bunch of small children and a husband to feed, as well as all the other tasks that need to be completed in a day. However, I will not accept any excuses! Where there is a will there is a way!

I have been helped along this 'way' in large part thanks to 'the total well-being diet' by the CSIRO. This is a 12 week eating plan that comes complete with recipes and shopping list. I decided to just throw myself into it. Use the plan, do my shopping. The all or nothing philosophy really works for me. JUST DO IT! So I have completely redone how I do food. In a nutshell breakfast is some sort of healthy cereal or muesli with some fresh fruit thrown in. Lunch is a healthy sandwhich with lots of protein and salad. Or some soup and salad. Dinner is veggies and protein. Carbs are generally relegated to morning and lunch and completely avoided at dinner. Its a simple and healthy way of eating that I am getting more used to cooking for. I usually throw on a pot of rice or pasta so I can pad out the kids and Shane's meals a bit more. I don't find it difficult make it healthy for me and enjoyable for them.

Currently I am in week 4 of the 12 week plan. Though I hope to continue on this healthy way of life for much longer than 12 weeks. I am working really hard to maintain a positive focus on the health benefits- not just the weight loss. Though I have been obsessively weighing myself....Today I got Shane to hide the scales so I can't look for awhile. Though I am happy to report that this morning I have reached my lowest so far (since H) 86.6k! Yay! I am feeling really great and have had loads more energy which is a huge bonus in a life with small kiddies. Slow and steady wins the race I reckon. I want to keep it off for good so it is ok if it is a gradual process. That said, it has been coming off fairly quickly. Around 10ks to go to reach my goal weight...

Here I come!

Monday

A crisis transport arose Sunday night. Shane realized there was going to be more kids than seats on the bus to head out to his school camp. He needed to take the car. Monday through Thursday I would be car-less and on my own with the three littlies...Eeek! Shane kissed us all goodbye bright and early Monday morning and I braced myself for the week ahead. Hudson was still sleeping as I lay in bed putting off the inevitable 'rise and shine'. I could see Esther through the gap in the doorway, sitting in the recliner watching a movie, thanks to Shane. The next part was a bit of a blur as I got the girls dressed (actually Char stayed in her pyjamas!) fed, and shod. Esther got her back pack and library bag and I scooped Hudson up last minute, popping him into the baby sling where he remained asleep a little longer. Out the door we go, the girls walking and Hudson happy in the sling.

For some reason preschool is absolutely freezing cold in the morning. I guess its not for 'some reason', the reason clearly is because they have the air-con cranked first thing in the morning. Glad Hudson has a warm place to snuggle, usually I am worried about him getting too hot. Esther changes her library book, we say goodbye, she is happy and I head back home with Char in tow. Hudson needs his morning feed so when we get back I set Char up in front of the TV. It's Yo Gabba Gabba, thank you DJ Lance, Foofa, Luna and the other crazy critters on that truly bizarre show for entertaining my children! Hudson finishes his feed and when Yo Gabba is over we head outside for a bit of play time. Char and I get out the boats and play with our 'water play' toys. She is getting quite into it and talking to herself and the little sailors as she moves them around on the boats. After playing for a little while with her I go and get a snack for Charlotte. The phone rings, its Aunty Helen getting back to me, offering assistance to do a few real estate errands that must happen today, being carless I am in great need of her help! The plan is to come over after Esther's preschool, she'll watch the kids and Uncle Norm will chauffeur me to town to drop off keys from our old place and the condition report for our new one. Bad phone reception and Hudson crying made it a little difficult to communicate but we got there-LIFESAVERS!

I am carrying Hudson around, trying to get him to calm down, unusually cranky this morning. Char finishes her snack and continues to potter around happily. I somehow manage a phone call in there with mum and dad, again with poor reception I had to go outside, cradling Hudson in my arms and the phone under my chin. I give them the latest on whats happening and then say goodbye. After chatting to Mum and Dad, Hudson is almost asleep, I am busting for the toilet. The phone rings; a friend, trying to help me organise getting to a 4 year old party that afternoon, being without a car, I said we wouldn't be able to make it, but not many are invited so they are keen to get us all there, a challenge when three need car seats... I put Hudson down and he starts crying. I am struggling for reception, ignoring his cries I go outside in an attempt to get a better signal. Do my best to end the conversation quickly and return inside to Hudson, still crying. I calm him down and place him on his tummy. Back to check on Charlotte. I am only half heartedly toilet training but, she is asking to go so off we go! I take off her nappy and a poo falls on the floor...Hmmm...Ok. Chuck Char in the shower and clean the toilet floor. Put on a load of washing. I can hear Hudson crying...Char is very happy playing with the bath toys in the shower. I need to make another call, organising transport for the afternoon. OK, its all sorted. Now its 10.30, time to get Char dried and redressed, Hudson has settled but he only has half hour til it is time to pick up Esther from preschool....

So this all happened about three weeks ago. I started writing it the next day but wasn't able to finish. Our internet is ridiculously slow so I havne't bothered since. I took notes on the events of the day because I knew I would quickly forget, but I thought it would be an amusing record, sort of encapsualting a little taste of my life juggling the three kiddies. It is amazing how the days events, which are so all consuming at the time, can be forgotten almost completely in a matter of days! Try and think back a week and get any semblance of what you did and its a lost cause! Quickly the days pass and the seasons change. The challenge of today is drowned out by the demands of tomorrow.

Actually I don't know how accurate an account it is in the end, because the notes were quickly taken and brief, and I cannot remember what happened now I did fill in the blanks a bit... But it is pretty close! Mums out there I encourage you to do this one day, maybe on a day that has been particularly stressful or full of tantrums! It will seem an utter chore to do it, but force yourself! Sit down and type up the events of the day, all the little dramas, the hugs, the fights, the laughter, the accidents and the mayhem. Write down what happens in just one day and I think you will find it a positive reflection on how much you actually get done in a day (or not!), but most of all it will be something you will read again later, barely remembering what it was like to live your life as it is today. Your kids will love it too, one day reading about the goings on in a day to day running of the household. It's funny what seems so humdrum today it doesn't seem worth notating, in a few years time will be precious memories that would have been lost otherwise. Its a beautiful to record to have, if you don't have the energy to write an epistle, even just notes in the daily diary are good. We might cry about it today, but it may bring much merriment to the readers tomorrow.