Great (birthday) expectations

I do love parties. I like going to them, preparing for them and hosting them. At least I did. When I was a girl I hosted every year a Christmas party for my school friends. I set the table beautifully and we had a yummy meal. I decorated. They slept over, we enacted christmas morning by exchanging gifts. It was awesome. I loved every minute of it- before and during. What happened?? Something happened...

Something happened that I have observed happens to a lot of us. The things we used to be delighted by, excited to do- become drudgery- they become another thing to do on an already overcrowded schedule. There's pressure, there's expectation and there is A LOT of cleaning to do! Somewhere in there the fun can get sucked out of it all, pretty swiftly, replaced by... Stress. You feel me?

Add to that, when you have a few children and a couple of them have resulted in 'birthday clumping' (I like to call it; when their birthdates

are a little too close together for comfort!) We don't always get the adequate time and space we would like to make each special date as SPECIAL as we feel it should be made.

As the years have passed I realised I was slowly allowing birthdays to move from a source of enjoyment and delight in our lives to one of impending dread. OK maybe NOT quite dread, but it certainly wasn't FUN anymore. Or the moments of fun for me didn't seem to be out weighing EVERYTHING else.

Each time party day rolled around there was the inevitable pre-party-stress-vomit-all-over-shane-coz-its-his-fault-for-not-helping-me-more, and HOW dare you watch the footy at a time like THIS??!! Can't you see I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW??!! FAR OUT!! HAVEN'T YOU LEARNT ANYTHING ABOUT ME YET??!!!! So... Yes, we are all having a great time.

Then the guests would arrive and everything would go great and it was all fine and when it's over I see that I really didn't need to worry. It all came together they had a good time. It's not that big a deal, I should really relax more about it.


I realised I just needed a little more help. Some clarity. So, I prayed about it. I asked God to help me to enjoy parties again. To not get stressed. To do what needs doing and enjoy the process. And also to let others (ahem Shane) off the hook, at least a little bit. After all, I am the one who loves parties and plans them and throws them. It's not like WE HAVE to do it. I am doing it because I ENJOY it. And besides Shane really is a great pass-the-parcel maker and its something he can do while watching the footy. And guess what? God answered me.

Earlier this month I was put to the test as I hosted a 7th birthday party for Miss Char. I decided- what the heck? Let's make it a big one! we had 19 children attend. Charlotte requested an ice-cream cake. Thank you Charlotte. That works perfectly with my low-stress party resolutions. Honestly how many kids even eat birthday cake anyway? All those licked-clean cupcakes are testament to their unpopularity. Why bother with all that baking? Who are we trying to impress?? Not the kids that's for sure!

Life at the time of the party was pretty busy and so I knew I was only going to have the day before to prepare- do the shopping etc. I had strung up some decorations (primarily the bunting that hangs in the kids rooms year round) the paper lanterns were still hanging from christmas under the verandah. So less than half hour that part was done. Tick. I stayed firm in not stressing as I shopped and planned for the party on Saturday. Fruit platter, veggie sticks were the go. Then some favourite packs of chips and a bag of lollies. My mother-in-law was making her yummy sausage rolls and honey joys. Really thats all we would need.

I have thrown off the yoke of making butter cut out biscuits in their age as this had become my number one birthday burden! They didn't even notice I didn't make them (see my earlier post on this!). Made the food table look pretty with wrapping paper, pretty napkins and a central display of large twigs in a vase with little paper birds (courtesy of Ikea) hanging off them. It looked quite good. Now for the basic tidy up outside and inside (good excuse to get that done). And we are good to go. I had fun doing the ice-cream cake the day before too. I will confess I did give into some serious frustration and had a little wail as I realised I had put together the cake on a platter that wouldn't fit back in the freezer!!!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING??!!!! I smooshed it onto a smaller plate losing some of the outside biscuits along the way- GAH!!! the perfection of it all RUINED!!! And the new  plate was STILL too large!!! GAH!!! WHY didn't I leave it in the pan till tomorrow??!!!!! Panic was setting in as ice-cream was melting! SHANE! HELP ME!!Shane comes over with a look of dismay. Ok calm down. Whatever, let's just deal with this! I shoved it in the freezer side-ways and slammed the door. It should freeze in position and I can amend it in the morrow. It was fine. Crises averted. Just.

I had the kitchen table set up with colouring stuff and stickers as we waited for everyone to arrive. No one was allowed in the backyard as there was an egg hunt waiting to happen. When all the guests were present Shane was amazing at gathering them and playing a few games to get them into groups. Then they all got baskets and were released into the backyard to find the eggs. We played pass the parcel and had a 'present opening' time, we did some dancing games and ate doughnuts hanging from strings form the hills hoist-old school style. The kids ate the food and were happy. They loved the ice cream cake. It was a fun afternoon. And I did NO baking!! Can you believe it? (actually I lie just a little, at the last minute, when all was ready to go I quickly did a batch of gluten and dairy-free chocolate cupcakes for those with intolerances. No icing!) But I did so little of the things I usual do that make the party prep seem stressful and I realise. Kids don't need tonnes of home baked goodness. Just some fruit, and a few treats, a few good games. They love it. They are easy to please!

Seriously it was so liberating to throw off a few of those party expectations from myself and realise how great it still is. Better even. I got to enjoy myself too.

Now I certainly wouldn't conclude from my experience that everyone should follow what I have done. Everyone has a different capacity. Some people really do thrive and enjoy doing loads of baking and making it gleam! That's their happy place and they should enjoy it. I only say, if you are doing 'all this stuff' and its costing you the enjoyment of the overall experience. It's not worth it. And for the record, I really do enjoy the baking. But when you have so many things to organise for a party something has to give- and it shouldn't be mum's sanity!! :) Birthday's should be enjoyable for everyone- including Mum! And I do think it's possible. At least with a little help from above. :)