Autumn baking

Autumn, the weather cools, the leaves change, rain comes and things begin to get cosy again... Autumn; wishful thinking!!
If you aren't familiar with what the climate is like here in Darwin, allow me to enlighten you. According to the Bureau of Meteorology; the average temperature at 9am, throughout the month of April, is 27.4c and the relative humidity is 74%. At 3pm the average temperature is 31.8c and the relative humidity is 52%(the overnight average temperature is 24c). The day starts warm and sticky and gets warmer, and SLIGHTLY less sticky by the afternoon. At this time of year everyone is hanging out for the dry season, which is due to bring relief in May.

We don't really experience four seasons here. It really is more of an endless summer, the changes that occur in the weather are more to do with fluctuating humidity than temperatures. Our 'winter' is defined by clear, sunny days and cool nights where relief from intense humidity is enjoyed. 'Summer'= very high humidity, very steamy, sticky day and nights- relief is found only during the monsoonal downpours which may last a week or more. During a monsoon it's still tank-top weather but the lack of sunlight brings the temperature down considerably, allowing the air-cons to work more efficiently and perhaps even relieved of duty (the fans are still going full bore of course!).

It is a unique climate. One that many people struggle to live with, including myself- a self confessed lover of winter (how did I end up here?!). Despite its intensity there are things that you come to appreciate, even love about life in Darwin's 'forever summer'. The rains, the amazing wildlife, amazing green everywhere, long guilt-free showers (yes, no water restrictions here!), never having cold feet, never having to take a jumper with you 'just in case', phenomenal cloud formations, sunsets and thunderstorms. A change in the weather, when it comes, is like the very kiss of heaven and you can hardly imagine appreciating anything more.

I do TRY to be a happy camper, and focus on the blessings- of which there are many. I have to say I am EXTREMELY grateful to have a house fully air-conditioned, after nearly 5 years of only having the bedrooms climate controlled, (and fairly poorly at that) to be able to keep the whole house comfortably cool is bliss! It has meant that my culinary creativity is unleashed more frequently as I am no longer so concerned about the oven's affect on the household temperature.

That said, I am slowly coming around to my point which is; autumn baking. No, I don't get to experience traditionally autumn weather, like so many of you lucky ducks out there! I hear your facebook posts about stoking up the fires, getting out the flannelette sheets, enjoying the cool nights and fine days, sigh... BUT I can still whack on the air-cons and cook up an autumnal feast and enjoy it as heartily as anyone warming their toes-ies by the fire! We still get to enjoy the seasonal low prices on stone fruit. Oh how I love stone fruit! Peaches and nectarines cooked til tender in butter and brown sugar and dolloped with cream- YUM! Even the most bland tasting fruit is transformed into something amazing by this process. However, my absolute favourite dessert of the moment would have to be; Plum and Pecan crumble. A Nigella recipe of course! This is a perfect way to celebrate and savour the autumn weather (whatever the weather might be for you!). You must try this recipe! I have made it about 5 times now, it is so easy and so delicious I had to share it with you all.

FILLING
approx 1 kg plums
30g butter
2-4 tablespoons brown sugar/demerara (depending how sour fruit is)
1 tablespoon of corn flour

CRUMBLE TOPPING
150g cold butter diced
250g self-raising flour
150g demerara sugar (look, its there on the sugar shelf somewhere! I found it!)
200g pecans, roughly chopped (even left whole is good)

20cm round pie dish

Preheat oven to 190c. Halve the plums and put them, cut side up in the dish, squeeze in as many as will fit comfortably. Dot with butter, sprinkle with sugar, sprinkle corn flour over as well (to help soak up juices). Put the plums in the oven for about 20mins as they need a head start to be cooked properly. While the plums cook, start the crumble; Rub the butter into the flour with your fingers, you want the butter rubbed in creating nice pebbles of mixture, lumpy is good! Now stir the sugar and pecans in with a fork. When the plums are softened, pull them out and sprinkle over crumble mixture and put back in the oven to cook until the top is nicely browned.
serve with custard, cream or ice-cream (or maybe all three?)
I made a nice whipped cream with vanilla extract, a tablespoon of caster sugar and a teaspoon of cinnamon. Mmmm!

Try it and tell me what you think! Happy Autumn baking!

Cooking with kids

I love baking! I have always enjoyed the process of putting together a bunch of random ingredients and then, after a brief spell in the oven, to receive the delightful fruits of my labour; it is such a joy, and so yummy! I am grateful that my parents allowed me many adventures in the kitchen from quite a young age. My creativity in the kitchen loved to roam free. Yes, there were times this creativity was barred from being released due to my habit of not cleaning up very well, some things haven't changed! (fortunately now no one can stop me! And I am getting better at the cleaning part) but all in all I was pretty lucky to have the freedom they gave me.

Now that I have children of my own I have the delightful experience of sharing my love of baking with them. It certainly seems to come pretty naturally in this family. Both of my girls LOVE helping me in the kitchen and it is all I can do to stop them from pulling up a chair and reaching for the aprons any time I am preparing something! I try to include them as much as possible, but for this to be successful it takes a little bit of organisation. Hands are washed, aprons are put on (Carla made them the cutest little aprons, sooo adorable!) I try and get all the ingredients up on the counter before I call them over as this prevents me from having to leave the bench during the process, CLOSE supervision is required at all times!

Yesterday we made cookies. The girls had a chair each, aproned up and enthusiastic. Esther took responsibility for the stirring while Charlotte got to tip in the ingredients, one by one as I measured them up. It's great fun watching them as they do enjoy it so much. If you haven't braved cooking with your little ones I encourage you to try it. Yes it is messy, but you know, just clean up afterwards! Great practice for team work (if you have more than one) giving them each a little job to do works well I have found. Your product won't be achieving high standards for hygiene if your kids have the same irresistible urge to 'taste' the mixture constantly as mine do! Esther seems to enjoy even the taste of raw egg, anything is pleasurable out of the mixing bowl- apparently. As much as I tell her 'it doesn't taste good' she appears to be deaf to my pleas to reason.

I think my favourite part of baking is the egg cracking. For this I say 'JUST DO IT' let them have a crack (pardon the pun!) ! What's the worst that can happen? Egg all over the floor? Well, yes, that has happened a couple of times to me, but it is so hilariously liberating to let a toddler have a go at this that I think it is worth it. And you know what? They do learn from their mistakes. Esther is an AMAZING egg cracker for a three year old! I have to say I am very proud of her abilities in this area. She always goes for the opposite side of the bowl and keeps the egg inside as she does it, very careful, more so than me, rarely ANY shell gets in the mix. The first time I let her do it, she had to hit it so many times before finally getting a small crack and then she more or less squeezed the egg out (and then i picked out all the shell!). Another time, in the early days of our cooking together, she cracked the egg on the outside edge of the bowl and the egg came out and slid down the bowl and straight onto the floor! I didn't get angry with her, it was an accident, but she was a bit put off by this experience and the next few times didn't even want to try it again, which I was happy to oblige with. I think she watched me and when she was willing to try again she did brilliantly!

Oh the joys of cooking! It really is a fun learning curve for both the girls and I. The more I do it the less of a hassle it becomes and it is really rewarding watching them both learn and grow in their understanding of cooking and all the other skills that go with it, not to mention the working together and sharing as we go. So I hope I have inspired you to give it a go or keep going with it if you already have and have thought it 'too much hassle'. And if you want some cute aprons for the kiddies to wear I might just know someone who can make them to order.

Happy cooking!

Pregnancy

I am pregnant with baby number 3. It is such a blessing to have two lovely, healthy children and to know another one is on the way. It's such an enormous privilege to carry new life into the world, I really cannot get my head around it. Considering what an awesome gift it is, it's surprising how often it is seen as more of a burden than a blessing. I have found that it is very easy to become overwhelmed by all of the demands that are on me as a Mother of two young children already, add to that the hormones, the exhaustion, the weight gain, the bad skin, the stretch marks, the nausea, the feeling ugly and fat and a million other bizarre things that can afflict you as the bearer of new life... and well...it feels a little less than the inspiring and wondrous experience I know deep down that it really is.

I have been reflecting on this lately; in particular the whole issue of weight gain and body image and how that affects how we see ourselves when pregnant. Almost all of the time when I see a pregnant woman, I think 'how incredible, how beautiful' there is something so fascinating about seeing a woman who is carrying a life inside of her that I think everyone is drawn to look. I notice people looking at me and I know I do the same when a pregnant woman goes by. Even after being pregnant three times myself I am still amazed by seeing it happening to others, in fact I probably find it more captivating than ever. The image of a mother-to-be is really quite spectacular, and I think it is also an amazing reminder of the wondrous fact that Jesus himself came into the world this way- through the womb of a woman. Immanuel, God with us. Life and birth are glorious and as women we are truly blessed to have such an active role in it.

However, this privilege is not without suffering (as we know full well!)- but I have found the suffering I have gone through to bear children has also been a gift. It reminds me that to bring us spiritual life, God suffered greatly. Our pain in labour is a small picture of what he has gone through to bear spiritual children. When I reflect on the fact that God likened the pain of bringing forth spiritual children to that of physical labour I am awed and humbled. I have never experienced pain like I have in child birth and if that is just a glimpse, how great was his pain for us? I consider it an honour to have even that glimpse of what he went through- and to have the joy of children afterward, to know that it is not a gift lightly given, nor should it be lightly received. It is a responsibility of the greatest magnitude. I think the 9 months of carrying a child and then the hours of pain to birth them, are a very sobering introduction to parenting! Not to be taken lightly or for granted!

All this wonder, responsibility and blessing and yet I still get bogged down in worrying about my weight. As each month progresses and my thighs thicken at an alarming rate. The back of which i glimpsed in a mirror, bringing with it pangs of horror!!! It didn't help that the bathroom was stunningly lit with fluro lighting making my skin look terribly pasty and showing up every flaw, dent and blemish! Ah! Why is it that we are so bound by the image of the ideal woman? It haunts us at every turn. You would hope that at least for pregnancy we would be relieved of that pressure to be perfect, but it torments us still. The comparisons of slim pregnant women are out there to remind us 'some people can do it, why can't you?' 'Look how quickly she lost weight!' ' You would never even know she has had 4 children!!'

Our culture is cruel to women. Always just out of reach is that image, always the opposite of what we are, always poised to critique and condemn. I desire to be emancipated from this force that never allows me to rest and to accept myself for who I am and where I am at. I really believe satan is trying to steal the joy of pregnancy from us, the wonder of the experience by filling our mind with the things we aren't and should be. The stress and worry of how to lose the weight, get back to 'normal' that becomes the goal. I think it is important to be healthy, to eat well and exercise, but I don't believe we should be ruled by the pressure to be 'slim' or that if for a season we are not the ideal weight, to not be allowed to enjoy life, or be thankful for our bodies.

I don't like seeing myself gain weight, but when I focus on what my body is doing and how through this season a whole new person will join this world, fluctuating weight is a small price to pay. I hope I can begin to see myself as I see other pregnant women- as incredible, beautiful bearers of new life- whatever their weight. I hope if you are pregnant now you feel encouraged to do the same.

(ps. the unimpressed look in the photo is due to the fact that my mum told me to suck my butt in for the photo...thanks mum, case in point!)

Judge not...

It has been far too long since I blogged last. If thinkign about it was good enough I would have half a dozen entries in the time that has lapsed since I last wrote. Life has been pretty busy with friends and family staying a trip interstate and then of course we got rid of the internet which eliminates my late night blogging spells, which almost eliminates my blogging altogether! But where there is a will there is a way and I WILL!

I have been thinking a lot about the issue of judgement. Heck I know I am as guilty as Hezbollah when it comes to judging others. I am sure not that long ago I prayed something like asking God to humble me...It's funny how you can make judgements about people, which at the heart of it all really say 'I am better than you'. That's what judgement is isn't it? We think we have a right to judge because we are in fact 'better' than the person in question. If we didn't, we probably would keep quiet. But we think we are better and that gives us a right to poin the finger and criticise others on quite a range of issues- there really are no bounds to the ways we can judge another. We are a better cook, a better cleaner, a better wife, a better artist, more fit, more beautiful, skinnier! That reminds me of a funny admission a friend once made to me. She was (and still is) quite a slender thing and she secretly confessed that when faced with other women that she feels inferior too, or intimidated by she says to herself, 'well, I'm skinnier!' I thought that was quite hilarious, but also sad and true. That is what we do, we find something in ourself that we think is quite great and praise worthy and then go about comparing ourselves to others based on our best points. How foolish.

I do this. I have this smugness sometimes, its really quite ugly when I think about it. I sit in a lofty place of judgement and make comparisons, usually only in my head, but the end conclusion is ultimately 'I am better'. Why do I do it? I guess in the end it is because I don't really believe I am better, but I am afraid of what I am not, I am insecure not fully confident in who God has made me and so I find this need to compare and contrast myself to feel better about who I am.

God doesn't like this. In my request to be humbled this is the area in me which he began to target. People who I was quietly and confidently sure that 'I was better' than in numerous ways (how awful it sounds when typed in black and white!) were found to be, in actual fact the opposite. Assumptions I had made on unfair judgements and a lack of love were revealed to be quite false on my part. I realised that the people in question were exemplary in a number of areas where I was lacking. I found myself in a situation where I thought I would have 'a lot to offer them' that it was quite the other way around. I found myself learning and growing in a suprising way. It was humble pie for me and it actually tasted good!

I am learning to be more gracious to others, keen to see their best attributes, to encourage and lift them up. Not to look for areas that I am 'better' than. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we needn't be intimidated by those who have strengths where we are weak or to be in judgement of those who have weaknesses where we are strong. If we always compare our strengths to others weaknesses, of course we will always come out looking great in our own eyes. But that is hardly fair, it is a twisted view of reality. It is a log in our own eye as we try and pluck the speck of dust from another.

No area is more tempting to judge another on than the area of parenting. Don't do it. We see people in the shops with kids that are out of control and think 'man, they are wild! Get them under control!' But hello, maybe next week it will be you, out having a bad day. We all have bad days and hate to think people judge all of our parenting on one tantrum. Let's be merciful to each other. Mums, I am talking to you! In our insecurity of wanting to be great mums, it is easy to pick on those that are struggling, to compare and feel better. Love, pray and encourage those that are struggling, keep your tongue from sharing someone else' struggle or disgrace. If you see them battling- don't talk about it with someone else, pray! Do unto others as you want them to do unto you! This is basics for us that call Jesus Lord, this is one of the ways we can live it out. Hold back your judgement, remember 'the measure you use to judge others will be the measures used to judge you.' Keep your hearts, thoughts and tongue in check, only God knows the whole story, realise we only see a small part of others lives. God sees all, make his opinion the one you are valuing, not your own, not others. He is the ultimate judge, and his judgements are just. Praise God!

Secret of Success

I have been pondering for awhile, what I would next blog about. I have many random, fleeting thoughts and ideas that come in and out of my mind, few of which make it to print (or pixel). There is something that keeps resurfacing though; the challenge of being a successful wife and mum is really what I spend most of my energy on, in thought and action.

I know what I want to be, as a wife and mum. I think we all do. We are well aware of our failures and our limitations. How do we get from here to 'there'? Is it even possible? I know I write a pretty chirpy blog, and I like baking and making my home pretty and having babies. But don't let that fool you! It is a battle.

I was listening to the radio the other morning and a pastor was sharing about his battle with depression. He was saying how everyone battles depression at different levels and varying intensities. I see the truth in this. I have joked that instead of having a year or two of depression in my life I have eeked it out in five minute chunks every morning instead! Even though I joke about it, the battle is real, and it really sucks to feel crap about life, especially first thing in the morning. The sense of being overwhelmed before the day's begun and not even knowing why. I usually shake these feelings pretty quick, but sometimes they linger or they sneak up on me at other times, unexpectedly and I feel hit with this sudden futility. What is the point? and I can't be bothered.

And there are those moments, I have them regularly. Those moments of choosing; meltdown or kneel down. I often opt, foolishly for melt down. But am quickly discovering the secret of success is to be found in the kneeling. Today is a perfect example; I am very overtired (after staying up to watch 'true beauty', i didn't know it was going to be a double episode!) and seeing that Esther is too, I decided to try and enforce proper nap time today... It started off looking very hopeful and I was feeling excited and successful when suddenly it all went south and suddenly I am having a battle of the wills and quickly losing my cool and my self assurance. Other anxieties and frustrations I have been experiencing with parenting all seem to be screaming at me how poor a job I am doing and how out of control we all are. I leave Esther with instructions to stay put, as I go out to the kitchen table where I put my head in my hands and just say 'Oh God! Help me! I don't know what to do, if you are the God of my life then I need you to be the God of this moment, be real for me in the midst of my trivial yet monumental needs. Please.'

That said, I continued on. I didn't really feel or hear anything from God at the time, but as I look back on the afternoon I am truly astounded at how, from that moment, things began going right again. I was able to calmly discipline Esther for her rebellion and the next thing I know I was praising her for her voluntary assistance in cleaning up. Both girls were helping me pick things up and put them away and I put on my music and we sang and had some fun. Not that they were angels all day, I still had some conflicts to sort out and telling-offs to do, but I felt freed from the frustrations that I had recently faced. I didn't drag them with us into the rest of the day. Too often one disappointment or disobedience can get me down and feeling suddenly overwhelmed, then all I feel like doing is having a bit of a cry and maybe a nap! It's a sort of desperation that comes over me.

The truth of the matter is, I really can't do my job well, or even cope, without God's help. We aren't supposed to be able to manage without him, so it should come as no surprise that the resources we have just aren't enough to cut it. We will always fall short. And that goes for EVERYTHING. Every area of life, we will never reach that place we want to get, the full potential we deep down desire to realise.

A friend was asking for tips for losing weight after baby, (I am not yet the poster girl for this but it is flattering that she should ask!) and honestly my answer would be- prayer. I keep praying and asking God for inspiration, motivation and strategies that will work for me. He knows me, he knows my body, he LOVES my body and he has the answers I am looking for. He is helping me every step of the way. Every bit of success I have had, I credit to the empowerment he is bringing me daily. Without God I am a lazy, unfit and inconsistent sweet tooth!! :) I can't maintain motivation for two days in a row! I NEED him and I know it. So I ask for help and he answers- try it!

Life is a journey. But it isn't just a nice little hike through a pretty little forest. This journey that we are on is also a battleground, and most often that battle is waged in our minds. It is a battle we just have to keep fighting; for our sanity, our marriage and our kids- there are no easy answers. I know that I need supernatural help to be the great mum I want to be. Heck! I need help just to cope enough to be able to smile at my husband when he comes through the door. Now THAT is a successful day!

Triathlon training!

Yes! You read correctly, I am training for a triathlon. I am not quite sure I believe it myself. I have certainly NEVER considered myself a sporty person and I really don't like the pain brought on by over exertion. However I do value my appearance and my health! Apparently vanity can be quite the motivator! Ha! Seriously, I have been trying, as many mums will understand, to shift the kilos brought on by baby-bearing and over-indulgence. I have had my successes over the past few years through different stints of exercise and healthy eating.

I had hit a plateau a couple of months ago and haven't lost much since then, exercise had fallen to the wayside a bit and I was feeling frustrated. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find a way to shed the stubborn 8 or so kilos that seem to stand between me and the ideal weight. I was feeling like there was no hope left, when inspiration struck!

Two friends of mine decided to stage their own triathlon, and encourage other unfit mums to join in. Perfect! I dont' think I could bring myself to do one in the public eye, but one we are doing ourselves, thats doable. So I've been spreading the word to other mums around and quite a few are getting on board. I am not just talking the talk though, I am walking the walk! The past seven out of 8 days I have swum, run, biked (or a combination). I am feeling great and so pumped to have a goal to work towards with other ladies who also find it a similar challenge. The date of the Triathlon is september 5th and I plan to exercise just about everyday between now and then.

I am feeling so energised from the exercise; it has really helped my mental state as well. I usually go out between 4.30 and 5.00, after shane gets home from school. I am usually tired at this time but after I go out I feel great and have energy for the rest of the day. I have found swimming to be especially enjoyable and refreshing! I am hoping to continue the swimming regularly into my next pregnancy.

I hope that my efforts, coming from a very lazy, unfit person who generally dislikes exercise, will inspire you too! We all know it is good for us, but it is so hard to do. Another friends was asking if I had any tips. I am certainly no guru on fitness (yet!) but my biggest tip- prayer! I have prayed ALOT about finding the right strategies and motivation and just the desire to keep going long term. I am a bit up and down but when I am down I just pray again and ask God for strength and ideas and he gives it to me! This triathlon was an answer to prayer for me. I KNOW I don't have what it takes in me, but, as the psalm says , 'with my God I can scale a wall!' So if you need help finding a way that works for you, pray about it and talk with other mums too. Doing things together is so much more fun, we dont' have to battle alone!

ps. How good does that show 'dance your ass off look?' another great exercise idea...

Cooking rut

Yes Oprah, you are right. It is an amazing thing- getting dinner on the table every night. I listened to her speak- in amazement, about how incredible she thinks mums are; being able to whip up dinner every night, 'it's an incredible thing, its a miracle- something new every night! wow!' Yes it is incredible, I agree, but I wouldn't say 'it's something NEW every night'. I don't want to admit how many times I've cooked spaghetti bolognaise in the past fortnight...But the fact that I have now got two CANS of leggos spaghetti sauce (mince-meat included) in the cupboard is testament to the fact that I am in a serious cooking rut!

I do enjoy cooking and it is probably the household task that comes most naturally to me, but every now and then I need some major inspiration to keep me going. To keep the passion alive! It is hard work keeping passionate sometimes. I love how we can inspire each other though. I love how you can be feeling so flat and hopeless about something and then spend time with someone and suddenly have a whole new outlook on things. That is what happened tonight. I went and hung out at my friend Mia's place. We chatted and worked on our own little projects. Mine tonight was getting out of the cooking rut. I took a few cook books and began poring through them. I found lots of recipes I would love to eat, but not many I would love to make...You know, like lamb shanks and slow cooked legs of ham and fish laksas with a million ingredients. PLUS a lot of these gourmet looking recipes were probably not going to get my girls coming back for seconds. With a sigh, and wondering if I was ever going to get past spag bol I opened my recently purchased 'How to Eat' by Nigella Lawson. Yes, it's no secret that I love Nigella, but I had just put down another of her books that hadn't helped me much so I was a bit dubious. The book has ravingly good reviews about it being the cook-book of the decade and great reading as well as great cooking. I began to flip through.

I was finding myself a little turned off by the fact that there are no pictures of recipes, just annoying shots of partially unwrapped butter, solitary leeks, an unpeeled potatoe and perhaps my favourite; a half-opened (apparently empty) tin of sardines. Hello, I KNOW what a jar of uncooked rice looks like, It would be nice to see a picture of the risotto you are talking about here....Gah! Anyway, before I became overwhelmed by the frustration these photographs were stirring up in me, I stumbled upon the chapter 'feeding babies and small children'. And then I rediscovered why I love Nigella. Not only does she have great, no fuss recipes that are delicious, but the way she writes is so hilariously entertaining in its passion and uplifting in its honesty.

for example, here's a quote from page 457;

'You do need to be able to feed babies promptly. If you can prepare baby food in advance, freeze it and then microwave when needed, you reduce the time you are subjected to outraged, hunger-crazed screaming. But the practical advantage is the least of it. If you slave away cooking from scratch, trying to create some perfect morsel for you baby's edification, you will inevitably take it much harder when she spits it out in disgust or wipes it all over the walls. It isn't wise to put so much emotional pressure on either yourself or your children at mealtimes. If you slave and then freeze the product of your stove-bound slavery, the memory of the effort will inevitably recede and you won't take rejection so badly. This goes for feeding older children too.'

I was not only entertained as I read but I was also (as I had hoped) re-inspired to cook for my family. I found a number of recipes in this chapter that were perfect for the girls but would also be a welcome change for Shane and I as well. To name a few; Macaroni and cheese (from scratch), marinated drumsticks, fried rice with omelette, chicken patties, fruit crumble as well as some more good ideas for next week. Ok, so they aren't exotic but a change is a good as a holiday (even if the holiday is going camping in the backyard). More importantly I feel my creative juices flowing again and as I shopped, (I stopped at the supermarket on the way home) before I came up with some more ideas of my own that I want to try out this week. Yay!

So if you are like me this week- a house wife in a cooking rut. Or even if you aren't a housewife, Iwon't be prejudice, I would be happy to share my recipes with you and would also LOVE to hear your favourite thing to cook. What might be a cooking rut to you may be an exotic new venture for me, so do share!